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My Father

Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2009

On September 20th my Father found out he had Liver Cancer. He passed away on October 5th. He had spent the last year trying to find out what was wrong with him(ie; why he felt so weak, what was causing the horrible nausea,why he couldn't control his diabetes,etc) Finally on the 20th, my Brother had seen him suffer too much and took him to the Emergency Room at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona. A single CAT Scan and the Doctor told him he had cancer. He was admitted and a biopsy done the next day. The following day we were told there was nothing that could be done and arrangements were made for us to take him home with Hospice care. We were told he could possible last 6 months,but a realistic time frame would be two weeks to two months. He was gone twelve days later. I am angry that the doctors he had been seeing for years didn't pay attention to him when he tried to tell them how bad he felt. I am angry at myself that I didn't force him to change doctors. My Brother and I both feel we let him down. I would tell anyone to pull out all the stops and do whatever they can to get help for themselves or their loved ones. Don't settle for being put off, get more than one opinion, be aggressive, demand answers.

Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2009

I am almost three months into this with my husband chasing dr.'s records so someone will do something. I am very frustrated and very depressed. I feel like they are going to let him die due to a poor medical system and HMO that can't make a decision.

Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2009

Do not saddle yourselves with this responsibility. My father died of liver cancer too. These are matters so far beyond our control, that to think we could have done something is nothing short of self torture. I do not dispute what you say about being proactive. Sadly there is only so much you can do. I am so sorry for your loss as I know how much this hurts. But please do not beat yourself up over what could have been. Cancer Sucks, and when it takes, it takes. I watched my father die as I held his hand, there was nothing I could do to change the course of events. I miss him everyday. I still catch myself thinking how I need to call him to ask him a question about something. I am sorry for your great loss. and thanks for spreading the word on being proactive. But go easy on yourself.

Allan's Son

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