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kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I'm Vicki and I was just diagnosed July 2nd, 2009 with Stage IV Colon Cancer at the age of 34. I just celebrated a very happy 35 birthday, but the chemo treatments are starting to wear me down. I am scheduled for 12 treatments and just finished cycle 7. My husband of eight years just left me for another woman a week ago leaving me three children to raise on my own. So, fatigue and depression have been taking over me. Anyways, it's great to find such an insightful and supportive group.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Vicki,

Welcome to this board. I am sorry you are going through all this! Fatigue from chemo is very tough to deal with & I am not sure what your cycle is like, but when I am at the bottom fatigue-wise, I try to remember "this too will pass". Sunday I was exhausted all day & did very little, yesterday & today I am feeling quite wonderful. I hope you have some help with the kids, my advice is to take the help people offer you & take it one day at a time.

Best wishes!

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks for the welcome. I am about to start Cycle 8 of folfox on Wed. It seems to get harder and harder each time to recover from the fatigue. I just keep pushing along because my children need me. I have my mom, but her health isn't the greatest either. fortunately, I have a younger brother who is great with my kids and watches them when I have my treatments. Otherwise, I have been pretty much on my own.

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

That is so very sad. I'm so very sorry to hear this. Do you have family who can help with the children? That just breaks my heart.

May I pray for you and your family?

I completed 12 txs of FOLFOX in mid August. You're taking more meds that I needed so I cannot pretend to understand how you feel ....... Gosh, again, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Diane

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

It's hard to know what to say there. I certainly hope you have some help, how old are the kids? What an awful thing to have happen. Everyone here will give all the support we can, these guys are great with answers, someone always has an idea. Where are you at? I read that you are doing FOLFOX. you will certainly need some help, more than likely at the end of the treatment, and by the 2nd or 3rd for sure.

If I was anywhere near you, you'd have my help...I couldn't imagine going through all you are going through. Chemo is an emotional rollercoaster on it's own.

Anyway, welcome to our family..

Sherrie

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I have my mom and my brothers, but we just moved to AZ in March so I have no friends here. It's really difficult as my kids are only 10. 5, and 1 year old. We are in AZ about 20 minutes from Phoenix. It would be great to connect with someone locally that understands. I thank you for your kind words and welcome they added a little hope to my day.

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks Diane. I am in cycle 8 of my folfox and I am trying to stay strong. Prayers are welcome of course..the more prayer the better. I appreciate it :0)

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Vicki,

I'm so sorry to hear of all the difficulties you're going through. Cancer treatments in of themselves are more than enough, then to have to deal with your husband leaving. I just want to reach out and give you a big hug right now! I guess a cyberhug will have to do. Where do you live? I'm in the San Diego area in California. Let people know where you are and I bet there will be someone on this board close to you. It's neat because I've found out there are 4 people from this board who live near to me. I've met one so far and have formed a friendship. It's very nice to have the support of someone who knows what you're going through nearby. Do you have a support system of friends and/or family there? If not, I urge you to seek others out and possibly find a support group to attend. This place here on the board is my support group- everyone's great! But I know it's not the same as having someone to go to lunch with or talk on the phone with.

You take care and feel free to PM me anytime. I'm saying a prayer for you and your children right now.

Sending blessings your way through prayer,
Lisa

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Lisa, we just moved from CA to Az in March. Just before my diagnosis in July. I hope to be able to join a support group, but I have had quite a year. On memorial day, my only car went up in flames. Thankfully, I got myself and the kids out before anyone was hurt. So, Cancer was the icing on the cake. Thanks for your words of encouragement and your prayer.

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kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I am sorry to hear that you have been hurt too. I just struggle being alone..I've never not had someone by my side and although I know I can do it, it's frightening and does make me feel more vulnerable. Hope you have better days as well.

mommyof2kds's picture
mommyof2kds
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis and family issues. I hope you have some close family of friends to help you through this. You can vent on here whenever you need to. God Bless. Petrina

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks. I'm so glad to have found this forum. It makes me feel not so alone. I have my mom and my youngest brother babysits for me during Chemo treatments. I have been very lucky in that respect.

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

I am really sorry to hear what you are getting through.I hope you have family or friends who is close by to give a hand.You are in my prayers and I hope everything will be fine with you.Please remember this board is a place where you can find comfort,assurance,knowledge and attitude.If you need to whine and vent,this is a good place for you too.Take care.Hugsss.

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so glad to have found this board. I was spending days in my bed before finding this forum and now I actually find myself getting up more to live life.

Mike49's picture
Mike49
Posts: 269
Joined: Nov 2008

I was so saddened to hear your story, you are very strong but what a load to carry. I find it so sad thar your husband left when I know how priceless my caregiver is to me. I hope we can bring you strength as friends on this board.

Mike and Jenny

Mike49's picture
Mike49
Posts: 269
Joined: Nov 2008

I just noticed you are in AZ we are too. If we can connect please let us know, we have 3 kids here too. We live in the East valley. Where abouts are you?

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

We are in the West Valley -Goodyear.

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry to hear about all your problems,I pray that they get better.I know of other spouses who left when they were dx.Fatigue and depression are part of the side effects of the treatment and they will pass,but you have to get some medication for the depression,iron pills and vitamins B&C helped with the fatigue but they took awhile.I'll pray things get better.

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I am currently taking antidepressents, but its good to know about the vitamins also. Thanks for the prayers.

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

I am sorry you have found this board under such circumstances. I was diagnosed last November with Stage IV at the age of 39 and we also have three young children. I understand from that perspective what you are experiencing. But your recounting of your husband's betrayal has honestly brought me to tears as it just seems so unfair.

I want you to know that you are not alone. That I and the other members of this board are here for you. If you ever need to talk please PM me and I will send you my telephone number. Please come here as often as you can to share in your story for as you do so, you will find you also help others even as you hopefully help yourself.

As others have also promised, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Amy

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

so that maybe someone in AZ will read it - I notice that there is already one, but AZ isn't a small place.

I can relate in the way that I had recently left my husband and moved here to MN. I am in a relationship, but it is fairly new, and I have to admit that I was worried that he wouldn't want to stick around (thank goodness I was way wrong). My kids are teenagers, but I also didn't know anyone here. It was a bit lonely, but I made wonderful friends here on the boards, and also at my treatment center. I hope all goes well for you. I agree with another poster that it is much harder to loose someone you love than to go through the cancer, but what a double whammy!

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

I am originally from MN..where abouts are you? Its wonderful that you have found someone that is standing beside you. I hope someday to find the same.

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

just south of saint paul. and a bit crazy after living in Florida for 16+ years! but I knew the guy 27 years earlier, he was a wonderful guy, just had no idea what I was getting myself into moving here! Now I find myself trying to talk him into moving south! Grew up in Philly, so cold isn't foreign, but so much snow....lol!

Unfortunately, I work for the BN RR, and with a bunch of guys, so I haven't had much opportunity to meet many people, and since I work so many hours it's hard to actually want to go anywhere to meet anyone else. I'm also the only female where I work. When I got my DX, I really was basically alone with no one to talk to. I was truly fortunate to have Nick, and my GF flew up from FLA for the end of the surgery and first treatment. I found this site one nite and they have been my family and friends ever since, and also gave me a reason to crawl out of bed.

Keep coming back here - just truly an amazing spirit uplifting bunch of people! I just wish sometime they lived closer....

kktylo
Posts: 17
Joined: Oct 2009

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Thanks so much for the prayers and for helping to keep me positive when things seem so dark.

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Vicki, It was sure hard to read your post yesterday. I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. From being a man and as I see it I'm glad he's gone. You don’t need any negative people around you now anyways. Cancer is hard on a person and you don’t need the extra stress in your life. See about getting something for depression. I had to after the first month of my dx in April 2009. They have helped a lot, but I still have my down times. But it's mostly seems to be that first week after chemo treatment that I get sad. It's hard on ya. Remember to keep coming to this board. You will find it to be a big help to you as it has been to me. We're here for you.

Brooks

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 456
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Vicki,

I'm sorry for what you are going thru. Just remember, cancer isn't your fault nor is your husband leaving you. So many times we second,third, etc. guess ourselves as if we could have changed things. It is what it is now and I pray that you will find an inner strength to get you thru this. I'm sure your children are an inspiration for you to get well. Please take care of yourself. You need to rest and surround yourself with love and positive people. I'm so glad you have found this forum. Anytime you need a hug just imagine all of us giving you a great big one. We are here for you. Don't hesitate to talk about anything here. So many lovely people who really care for you. We are all different and have different circumstances yet we have a common threat that binds us together. Peace to you. I will continue to pray for you and please feel free to share your emotions, questions, etc here.

God Bless you,

Debbie (gramma)

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 456
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Vicki,

I'm sorry for what you are going thru. Just remember, cancer isn't your fault nor is your husband leaving you. So many times we second,third, etc. guess ourselves as if we could have changed things. It is what it is now and I pray that you will find an inner strength to get you thru this. I'm sure your children are an inspiration for you to get well. Please take care of yourself. You need to rest and surround yourself with love and positive people. I'm so glad you have found this forum. Anytime you need a hug just imagine all of us giving you a great big one. We are here for you. Don't hesitate to talk about anything here. So many lovely people who really care for you. We are all different and have different circumstances yet we have a common threat that binds us together. Peace to you. I will continue to pray for you and please feel free to share your emotions, questions, etc here.

God Bless you,

Debbie (gramma)

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6691
Joined: Feb 2009

Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry you have so much to deal with on your plate right now. It can be overwhelming at times. The more treatments you take, the more anxiety and fatigue you will have. It just accumulates over time and catches up with you. You can ask any questions you need on this board. Even in the middle of the night there is usually someone lurking around. I do hope you get some help and good luck with your treatments.

Kim

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

I am so sorry that you have had the year that you have. I'm glad that you have found this board and I hope that it is helpful for you. It sounds like Mike lives close to you in Phoenix.
Post anytime; lots of people are on the board at all hours.

all the best, Leslie

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Vicki,
I read your post yesterday but was so saddened I couldn't immediately respond. I am married to my best friend David who is also a stage 4 cancer survivor with a single met to the liver.

I don't live in Arizona but if I did, I'd be honored to be your friend. I simply can't imagine any husband or wife bailing out on their loved one going through cancer. And especially not the mother to three precious children. I find it hard to believe how cruel people can be.

But the good news is you will find so much love and support here. I don't post very often but I come to this board every few days to find information and inspiration. This is truly an amazing group of people who are all affected by cancer.

Stay strong for the children and yourself and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you the best for things to turn around for you. You deserve some positive things to happen in your life.

Sending you hugs,and I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Priscilla

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

firstly welcome to the board l am so glad you have found us. lam so sorry about your diagnosis and your husband leaving you.you have found a second family in us and now you are here you are stuck with us. l can relate to the depression side of your cancer as most of us can but please stay with us to vent laugh or cry we will be here for you big hugs sonia

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Like others here, I am so sorry to hear about both your diagnosis and your family challenges. As a father of three (grown up now) I know how much work parenting is. Tough to go it alone, especially coping with cancer treatment. I hope you have good support near by to help out.

I'm stage 4 as well, 5+ years. I've been through the various chemo cocktails, radiation and surgery. It sounds like you are well into the 12 week program. It will soon be over!

Rob; in Vancouver

coolvdub's picture
coolvdub
Posts: 410
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi Vicki,

First off, welcome to the board. You will find many new friends and great information here.
I'm truly sorry to to hear of the family challenges you are facing, as Brooks mentioned, from a mans standpoint you are better off without him as he doesn't sound very supportive. What you need is positive thinking and people around you at this point. Just do what you can around the house and have the older kids help with what they can. Also just an idea, but check in with your local American Cancer Society office they may have some social programs that can help with childcare and meal prep so you can get the required rest you need to get through the Chemo. I will say a prayer for you and your family if it's okay?

Don

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