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Something in the air yesterday in California too

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

I agree that something was in the air yesterday. After I had gone to get my PICC line dressing changed I ran into a friend who I havent seen in 5 weeks or so. She stated that I'm sure loosing weight with this cancer thing. I talked with her for awhile then went home and lost it. I cryed for awhile, called my brother and talked to him some. The only one home was my 15 year old son. He seen me crying in my room and came in and sat down beside me. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. He was just their for me without any need to ask. This came out of a 15 year old boy. After a while I got it together and came down and read Craigs post "Lets just talk" for the 3rd time (Craig you are a brave man and you need to hurry up and get back on the board because we need you)and felt much better. So maybe something WAS in the air yesterday.

Brooks

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...have lost aroud 40 lbs since my diagnosis, I was at a 151, too heavy really for me, and I am now 113, I kind of like, It was my weight before I even had kids, well really 115, I am still gaining, and just don't let it get to you, it's actually only taken alot of the obese weight I had on me, when I quit smoking 7 years ago, and I do like to eat, I can see I look too skinny, but I know I can gain it back, and so can you Brooks, don't let some person get to you with their comments, and it's always ok to cry, sometimes we need too, to just get all the tension out, I've been like that with my kids as well, we're only human.

You have one hell of a son, very mature for his age, and my Shana is there more for me as well then my others, my oldest works alot, and I want her to be out and about as a teen should, but she is still there when I need her, and my son is too young to get a grasp on too much info, but it's always good to be with the kids, they lift the spirits, and give me back hope, as soon as I look into their eyes and see all the hope they have for me, it springs me right back into action to fight this shitty disease!

You got us all here for you as well Brooks! Whenever you need to chat, you can always PM me or talk right here, we're here for you! and hopefully Craig won't be long coming back, that's for sure!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

gotta love your kid! give him an extra hug from all of us.

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Our children are such blessings... wisdom, compassion, understanding, unconditional love...

Cody is sharing with you Brooks what you have shared with him for the last 15 years.

Peace and blessings... Rob

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Brooks,

I know we haven't communicated before (this is just 3rd post) but I wanted tocomment; I hope that is OK. I am sorry that you had an experience like that. I just don't understand why people feel a need to make a comment like that. I had a similar experience of an aquaintance who dropped something off at our house. She said "you've lost weight" (I needed to!) but then added after looking me up + down she said "you look drawn". I said to my husband after that if people have something positive to say about my appearance, great! Otherwise they should keep their comments to themselves.

Muzzy's picture
Muzzy
Posts: 178
Joined: Sep 2009

Anne Welcome
I truely love your spark you will fit in great here!
Jeff

JUust Happy To Be Here!!

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 428
Joined: Jun 2009

"People can be so cruel" I'm just the opposite. I put on alot of weight and my mom keeps telling me that she likes the way I used to look. Always concerned with my appearance. I'm happy to be here fat or skinny. That should be the least of our worries. In fact we're not supposed to worry. It stresses me out. I need to eat healthy and live healthy not obsess about my weight. It took me 2 years of sickness and 4 surgeries to put this wt on. Now it will take a little time to get it off. Again, I'm happy to be here. I don't know why people don't understand how it hurts us when they say things like that when we're fighting for our lives.

God Bless You,

Debbie (gramma)

Guess I just vented

Muzzy's picture
Muzzy
Posts: 178
Joined: Sep 2009

Brook you are a lucky man to have a wonderful caring son.
Give him a hug from all of us!

Jeff

Just Happy to be here!!

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Brooks,it's ok to cry.It's normal to lose weight during chemo especially you haven't gained enough weight back from the surgery.Just ingnore those people's comments,they may not do it for purpose,but it does hurt because right this moment as a patient,you are very sensitive.My hubby did cry for a couple of times,but I think he cried more in his heart.My husband used to be 200 pounds,after he changed his diet two years ago,he lost like 30 pounds which is good because he was overwieghted.Then after surgery he lost 8 pounds,these couple of days he started to gain some weight back.But his ajuvant chemo is going to start soon,so I hope he can maintain his weight.

You know,you have great family,great kids.You have gone through the hardest part of the treatment.After you finish the chemo,everything will be cleaned up,this is just going to be an unpleasant memory.Hang in there,things will get better.Take care.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Brooks,

I know people think they mean well, but that was not a nice comment! Duh! Of course it was going to make you feel bad about your illness. People really should think!

When I had just recovered from my surgery, I ran into an acquaintance from my grandson's school. She said, "You've lost weight. You look good." I said, "Well, yeah, I've been sick (I knew she knew!)." Her reply? "Yeah, but you look better." Thanks? What the heck? Like I said, people mean well, but they should REALLY think before they speak.

Your son sounds amazing!

*hugs*
Gail

pokismom's picture
pokismom
Posts: 153
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Brooks,
Sometimes you need a good cry, and what a great kid!
Love
Donna

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

As everyone has said you have a wonderful son, he must take after you and your wife. People can be so cruel without knowing it. Just know your family on here are with you, and we understand what you are going through. And it's ok to cry!

Hugs
Sonia

luv3jay's picture
luv3jay
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

Brooks...don't let them get you down! I remember when I first started going through this and I lost a ton of weight, EVERYONE commented on it. Of course, I needed to lose weight, but I couldn't get it through their heads that weight loss in cancer patients was NOT GOOOD! And to hear it just meant that you were still sick! UGH! People can just be so thoughtless. And the same people would continue to comment even after I let them know that I was not pleased with the rapid weight loss. Anyway, you son sounds like a fabulous young man! All of the love you've given him over the years is just being given back to you. Keep up the good work and keep fighting!

-Sheri

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Brooks,

I know what if feels like to have someone comment on your looks. I personally haven't lost any weight- I've actually gained some for whatever reason, BUT I can always unfortunately count on my sister-in-law to tell me what she thinks. She's made comments such as "You look really tired and pale today" or "You look much better today than last time I saw you" or "Is your rash a little more pronounced today?" (I still have to use makeup to cover up the speckles that Erbitux left behind on my face). No one else has made these comments- most tell me I'm looking good and they'd never know anything was wrong with me. Now because of my sister in law's comments, I always feel like others are just being nice & not really stating it as they really see me. I think I'll keep my current picture up here too- I do look not bad there, if I say so myself- lately I have been looking much more pale and tired (I also dyed my hair darker & it doesn't look that great- I think I may go back to lighter again- at least I still have hair to dye or lighten- lol!)
As others said to you, we can't let people's comments get us down, as hard as it is sometimes. You'll gain the weight back again & will look and feel better after the chemo. I have found keeping up with the B-12 that gives more energy helps with how you appear. Keep up with a good protein shake could help with the weight too- something with L-glutamine in it is good for your muscle structure too (people who work out or lift weights often take it, plus it helps with the mouth sores, if you're taking chemo that causes mouth sores).

You take care of yourself-
Lisa

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...You look beautiful Lisa :)

Hugsss!
~Donna

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Donna,

You're so sweet! That's why I'm keeping my same picture up- I think my looks have deteriorated since when that was taken, but oh well- such is life while on chemo- lol! (I gotta laugh and tease about it- better than crying!)

Hugs,
Lisa

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I get compliments at church but think most people are shocked that I didn't lose my hair and am still smiling.

I aged terribly in the last 10 months. Also, since I had to avoid the sun, I am so WHITE. My hair is quickly turning white, but what isn't white got darker. I'm seriously thinking of coloring my hair (lighter) until the gray spreads to the back of my head. Hmmm I gained 9 or 10 lbs with chemo and am trying hard to get back down to a comfortable weight. Hubby prefers me very thin. I have managed to lose 3 or 4 lbs in the last few weeks so am at 135lbs now. I'm very short and extra weight goes to my abdomen and thighs.

My profile picture makes me look older than my mother. Blown up, it doesn't look as bad. Getting old sucks, but I have to consider the alternative!

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