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Afraid to find out

Julie 44
Posts: 479
Joined: Oct 2008

Hi everyone,
Been away for awhile sorry..I got new job and I am just wiped out by the end of the day...I was a school bus driver for 15 years than the school distric outsourced the buses..So I had to find another job because I needed to keep the benefits. Well now I am a high school monitor and I am on my feet 8 hours a day..Up and down 2 floors by stairs ( not allowed to use elavator) all day long....Good exercise but very tiring.My feet hurt and legs hurt all the time...Still have nauropathy in my feet..
So anyway I need advice...I am having pains in my lower stomach..That is how my cancer was diagnoised before by having cramps in my lower stomach..But I just had a colonoscopy in May and Cea test in late August and all is well.But the pain is there and I am sooo afraid to go to get it checked cause I know it could very well be a new cancer.
I can deal with the pain still. Advil still works on it... So I know what your all going to say get it checked out but........ my head won't grasp that idea... I just can't bring myself to do it because what if it is back but in another area????? I don't think I could handle that again...Thanks for listening...............JULIE

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Hi Julie

I'm so sorry that you are having this pain and that you have a physically demanding job right now. I love my job but there are times, seems more now after treatment, when I very much resent having to keep working hard in order to keep my health insurance. Yes I will say that you should have this checked out. I totally get not wanting to have to deal with anything like cancer treatment again, and well, I keep this quote by James Baldwin on my office wall "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it is faced" in order to remind me of present time living and action. Also I don't know what kind of surgery you had but I started supervised weightlifting last month to address muscles weaknesses and favoring I knew I was doing but couldn't deal with on my own. I had LAR surgery and a liver resection and I've noticed after lifting that I can get pain in my lower abdomen, especially left side and at times, under diaphragm on right side. It's not too intense 2-3-4 on scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst, and it goes away 2 days or so after I've lifted. I definitely favor those sides of my whole abdomen. You are climbing stairs and standing all day, 5 days a week. That's can be an intense workout. I don't know if this could be the cause but getting it checked out could relieve the worry.

all the best, Leslie

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

I definitely think you should get this checked out, so you will feel better. Cancer makes us worry about every ache and pain. Don't give that pain the power!

*hugs*
GAil

velo8162's picture
velo8162
Posts: 15
Joined: Oct 2009

You could be over doing it walking the stairs and being on your feet. I know if I ride too hard or use the stairs too much I get the lower abdomen pain. Also, could it be gas? I know I get bad pains when I eat certain food right where I had my tumor removed. Either way, please get it checked!

John

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Julie,

As cancer survivors we can get a little tired of suspecting every ache and pain of being a sign or symptom of cancer. However... I recently had a colonoscopy that missed a recurrence that hadn't penetrated the colon lining. My CEA was as low as ever! But I had a developing constellation of problems in my pelvic area. Sure enough... local recurrence, now spread to the sacrum!

At one point after "yet another" visit to my GP, he said. "Your Oncologists and Surgeons are happy, your markers are low as ever, your scans are all clear, what will it take for you to be OK?" I said that I would be at peace when MY BODY affirmed what all of these others were showing! OK! he said as he ordered the Bonescan that finally picked up the problem. NOT their fault at all. I am trully cared for by a great team and they are as compassionate and competant as they are vigilent! But we need to be assertive... especially if it includes symptoms that were part of our original diagnosis.

Keep pushing and good luck...

Rob; in Vancouver

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

Julie,

As Rob has said please get things looked at. Early is always better then later, this is the one thing that I have learned in the last month. I wish I had addressed my issues earlier, but I am glad I did not wait any longer. We all need to remember as Actor-Author Evan Handler put it Hositals and healthcare are there to deliver "efficient healthcare to the masses" we are the ones that turn what they do into exceptional care, and one way we do this is by having our problems addressed.

I am not going to pretend that I even understand all this stuff, I am just beginning my journey into this very different world, but I come from a healthcare background and I know the wish off all healthcare providers is that they want all to be well, and they look for the "normal". Your healthcare team does not live within you so you need to let them hear what is going on.

Please Julie, press on!
Jan

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

Please get it checked. I know you are scared, I can relate, I get my scan results tomorrow and honestly I have been nothing short of a basket case. But not knowing is just as bad. At least if you find out you can go forward with a plan if by chance something is there. It could very well be nothing too or at least not related to cancer. But with cancer as you already know, finding it sooner is much better than later. Please dont wait, go get checked and let us know you are okay. We are all here for you!

God Bless
Beth

DennisR
Posts: 148
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Julie,
Unfortunately Cancer symptoms seem to mimic those of many other probable causes like , a mild touch of flu, colds, over-exertion, etc. Most likely, from what you've described at least, your issues are related to the fact you are using muscles that you've not been using for awhile and the pain is as a result of your compensating for muscle weakness.

That being said, you need to see your Physician or Oncologist and tell him exactly what's going on and what your fears are, be sure to tell them about your History of Cancer, and allow them to determine what tests should be done. When I had a recurrance of Cancer after 8 years, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind as to what was causing the pain, Cancer pain is special and unlike anything else I've ever exerienced, even in the early stages. Even after an initial misDX, I insisted on an X-RAY to be sure...and sure enough there was a Stage 2 Cancer tumor on the underside of my intestine.
I sure as heck did NOT want to hear that news, but I immediately went back into my survival mode and geared up mentally for the battle ahead. You can, and will, do the same thing.
I hated the idea of finding out the truth, but it's much easier to deal with facts than it is to just worry and not take any positive action to determine the truth. Worry, is a very debilitating thing and will preoccupy your mind if you allow it to fester. I always tell myself, " A coward dies a 1000 deaths,yadda yadda", and force myself to go to the Doctor.
DenisR

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Dennis and the others are so right, it could be nothing, but won't hurt just to get it checked, just be clear of mind that everything is A-OK there! if the cancer is back, it's just time to fight it off again, just please don't let it be prolonging and wait too long, you would want it for peace of mind as well.

It's also good seeing you back, I was wondering where you were! Good to see you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Julie

I am wondering if it is anything "leftover" from your gall bladder and hernia operations?

Maybe it could be "ADHESIONS" from the surgery - I had those act up on me and they can be like death they hurt so bad - all of the movement can irritate those until they settle back out.

I hope it is only something like that - the good news though is that if there is anything that has crept back, you and the team and US are all back on it early enough, so there is some comfort there..."an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", right, Julie?

And hey, you have never left my mind since you and I last signed off together and you went for your surgeries...I just gave you some time and then I thought, I better reach out and "touch" Julie - it's been too long.

Now, it's my turn and "I can't wait to hear that all is well for you" as soon as I am able to hit the site again. Does that quote sound familiar? It should because it's the last thing that you said to me before you departed.

All the best, honey - nothing but good things for you from here on in :)

-Craig

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

I sure think it's a good idea to get it checked out. Better to get it checked early then being too late. I sure wish I would have got checked long before I did.

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

As scary as it can be, you will have the answers you need to put it at rest. I'll be praying for you. Marie

Julie 44
Posts: 479
Joined: Oct 2008

Thank you everyone for your advice...I just don't know if its anything to worry about or not? Sometimes I have pain and sometimes not. Sometimes its in one area another time its in a differnt area...I just don't know!!!! Am I making myself crazy or what??? I just don't want it to go through a big scare and all kinds of testing to show that I am crazy thinking about cancer in me again and its all in my head....Julie

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I learned the hard way to listen to my body.

GET IT CHECKED OUT!

I know it can be a little scary. I know you don't want to over-react. But if it truly is something that could turn into a larger problem left unchecked, won't you be mad at yourself later? Please take care of YOU. If it turns out to be nothing, at least you'll have peace of mind!

butterfly23's picture
butterfly23
Posts: 257
Joined: Mar 2008

Please get checked, Once you know what it is, then you deal with it, in the mean time you are going to drive yourself crazy if you don't. It may be nothing at all!!!!! Maybe you're not used to running up and down stairs! Get checked!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Karyn

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