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Lost my mom to lung cancer & am totally devastated

Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

I lost my mom, my best friend to lung cancer in March. She was diagnosed in the ER by CT scan. We went home with hospice the next day and she was never the same. She died 1 week later. I feel so lost without her. I also wish I could have done so much more for her.

Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2009

I am so sorry for your loss it is very hard to lose a parent, my prayers are with you, take your time grieving, but try to live too, speaking as a mother myself that has lung cancer. I would want my children to go on with there life,and enjoy it, they can miss me but know that we will be together again.

Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's been so hard, mom was my only family and my best friend. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you are doing well.

cobra1122's picture
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

We want to express our true and deepest condolence on the passing of your mom. Time will help dull the pain of your loss, I won't say it will go away because it truly doesn't. We learn to deal with the loss and remember the person in our mind and cherish the times we shared. I truly hope that you can find comfort that your mom is no longer suffering and that in time you will see her again. But you can always see and talk with her in your mind, you know how she responds to questions or things that are going on, so anytime you need her support, close your eyes and have a mental talk with her. I lost both my parents when I was a teenager, but I remember how they talked and what they thought of things and I have mental conversations with them from time to time. I realize they are always with me, in my memories and I can call on them when ever I want.
Our prayers are with you, and I hope that you will keep your moms memories close at heart.

Dan and Margi Harmon

Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Dan and Margi,

thank you for replying and your good thoughts. Mom was a remarkable person and I really miss her so much. It's nice to come here and be able to just say what I am feeling and that I still miss her & know we were not alone in this disease. I wish none of us or our familys would have to deal with cancer. I have read a few of your other posts & your positive attitude is an inspiration to me. Please take care and keep posting.


Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry for your loss...I will pray for God to help you through this...my dad was just diagnosed with Cancer unknown primary - Adneocarsinoma. It is in his lungs, mediastinum and femur. We just found out last month...and I can't imagine losing him so I can only imagine how you must feel...something tells me you did do alot for her. That is wonderful you both were best friends. I know you added so much pleasure to her life.

Posts: 9
Joined: Oct 2009

Robbie thank you for your kind words. It's just so hard dealing with the reality of losing my mom. She was a remarkable person. We did a lot together before she was ill and before she hurt her back. She made a difference to a lot of people not just me. I hope your dad does well with treatment and has good doctors. I will keep your family in my prayers.


PBJ Austin
Posts: 347
Joined: Mar 2009

That is a very short time from her diagnosis to your loss. Aside from the sadness there is a great deal of shock and it must be awful. I hope in time you will be comforted by fond and lasting memories of your mom.

Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2009

My mother was the sort of person who you would have looked at and said that she was too strong for even death to take her, so in hind-site we knew it would have to be something HUGE that took her from us. She was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to her kidney's, bones and spine. She took the treatments and we got an extra 6 months with her but she fell and when we took her in we were told she had a burst fracture in her back, meaning that the bones in her spin had cracked and burst outward into her back, the doctor described it as akin to a stone thrown in a pool of water that ripples out. Upto that point we had thought that the treatments had worked, because we were getting good results and she was responding, but there was some cancer left in her spin. The doctors gave us options, to do the least invasive surgery he could think of to try to keep the cancer from spreading and fix her spin but in the end it didn't work and she died rather quickly after the surgery. It was the most horrible thing I've experienced. I totally understand what you're going through. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. My mother is no longer hurting and for that I am greatful to God, because it hurt worse to watch her, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish that I could have her back, whole and well. It's been two years and there have been some very good things that have happened to me since then. I've gotten married and had twins and the pain has gotten bareable, now I can remember the good times we had together in her last days, like when we went to a restaurant and although she had been diabetic for many years she decided she was going to get desert cause she hadn't had homemade desert in a long time. I miss her and I probably will always miss her but the love she had for me and the things she taught me will never die as long as I live and my children and so on because can pass on her love and teachings to the next generation. I can only tell you to remember the good times you had with her and pray during the bad times for help to deal. Give your pain to God when you feel like you can't deal with it, it helps.

Posts: 38
Joined: Sep 2009

Giving up my mother was the hardest thing I have ever done...It does get better...It took time....The tide will come back in ...always does...it's God's way...My mom was the greatest.
I had a dream that I went to heaven, it was beautiful, everyone looked so peaceful, and I saw my mom...she was walking down some very wide stairs with many people..She looked so healthy and content, and she looked over at me ( going up the stairs on the other side ), and she said to her friends, " Well, an angel must have brought her here." That was the one thing that helped to bring closure to having to let her go...Know that your mom is no longer dealing with Cancer....( If you have faith ) She is in a GREAT place even though you miss her. You will see her again...

Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry that you have lost your Mom to lung cancer. I am facing the same thing and I am scared to death.

I am guessing that you did everything you could to help your Mom. It is easy to blame yourself, I suppose that is part of grief. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are only human and you did the best you could.

Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2009

I too lost my mom to lung cancer.. it will be a year ago November 3rd. It hurts so bad. I am so sorry for you lose. My prayers are with you. Always, Trinity

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