Support For Those Who Have Lost A Parent

Hello Everyone,

My Name is Christina. I lost my Father to Gastric Esophageal Cancer on May 1,2009
I live in New York and my Parents live in California. My Father retired in Feb of 2007.
My Father was a diabetic for the last 4 yrs of his life but it was controlled by diet and medication. My Parents were supposed to be coming to visit me and my 3 boys on April 4th. On April 1st, it started like any other day. I was working and my Mom sent me an instant message, but I was working on something with a supervisor so I minimized the screen. When I was done with my supervisor I went back to read what my Mom had sent. I was expecting her to be asking about the weather, but what I saw I wasn't ready for. She told me that my Dad wasn't feeling well and they had to cancel their trip. I was immediately lost it. My Dad had never been sick a day in his life, beside the common cold or flu. So, we went through the motions, I cancelled their trip and kept in touch on a daily basis. I talked to him the next Dad and he sounded like himself. So, we thought he was having an allergic reaction to his diabetic medication and I was a little more calm. (I had to be for them)

My Dad wasn't feeling better over the weekend, so I told my Mom to take him back to the Doctor on Monday. That is what she did and they did the MRI on Moday and scheduled a upper GI on Tuesday. Tuesday April 7th when my Dad went in for the scope that is when they found the cancer in his Esophagis. So, they then proceeded up to his primary doctor for the results of the MRI and that is when they got hit AGAIN. They found a mass on his liver. I will never forget that phone for the rest of my life. My Mom calling to tell me that my Dad had cancer.

I flew home with my 3 boys a week later. And I am so glad that I didn't wait. We got their on April 15th and he was gone on May 1st. I am glad I was there, but it was so hard.

I have spent the last 5 months trying to deal with things on my own. Reading grieving books, writing in a journal, talking to friends and family. But they don't understand. Most of my friends still have both of their parents. They can all be sympathtic, but it isn't the same.

This past Sunday night was when I realized that I can't do this on my own anymore. I cried for 4 hours none stop. So, the next morning is when I called my local American Cancer Society and they told me about this site. Since I joined I feel better. I feel like I can write whatever I want about what happened and what I am feeling and there are people that will understand. So, I feel that it is important for anyone here that has lost a parent to KNOW that we understand and we are here for each other when we know our friends don't really understand.

To those who are still fighting and caretaking...We are here for you too!!!! To all of you...You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. My God watch over you, may his light shine upon you. God Bless to everyone.