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been out of it & family venting

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

HI Everyone,

I've been away from the board for a little while. Craig so kindly sent me a PM asking about how I'm doing & so I thought I'd better check back in with you all! I've been doing okay w/ my chemo, except it really has made me feel pretty sick for a few days following each infusion. Even this last time, I was given about everything I can be given for it & I still was nauseated and throwing up. The nurse suggested I try Sea-Band bracelets this next time, since I've supposedly had everything they can give me for it so far.

I have a mammogram in two hours from now today and a PET scan this Friday to see if my 4 Folfiri treatments have done anything to the tumors. I feel such a burden for my family's problems right now, that I hardly even have time to think about the PET and my own situation.
I've just been overwhelmed with family stuff going on- a husband and three kids with depression- I'm the one with cancer and I'm usually the upbeat perky one. Well, it's been really, really hard lately to be upbeat when my entire family sees the glass not only half empty, but totally empty. My kids are hating school, hostile, upset, my 13 yr old cries every day, my 16 yr old won't go to school and is angry at the world, and my sweet little 9 yr old has become sad and surly too. My husband just sighs and acts helpless and won't deal with anything. He's had depression forever & won't go on any medication because of "side effects". He did a few years ago, hated it and said he'll never do it again and I just need to accept him for "who he is". I told him a depressed person is not "who he is"- he's just been that way so long that it's become his personality, but it COULD change. He just gets mad at me when I bring it up & does not want our kids on any medication either. When we had our youngest on Welbutrin recently, he was mad that I had her take it & almost seemed relieved to discover it didn't help her and that "she never should have been put on it in the first place. As I said, she was on the antidepressant Wellbutrin for a while and it actually made her worse (she started crying more and got really angry acting), so she's been weaned off that and we're now trying things such as sam-e and 5HTP- we'll see how they work. I'm PRAYING they work, because I don't know what else I can do! None of them will see counselors, especially my husband. We actually did try counseling about a year ago with my son, but we all went. The counselor did no good and, unfortunately, reinforced to my husband's mind that "counseling is a waste of time". Uggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Okay- I vented for the moment. I usually am a pretty upbeat and perky person- I want to get back to that mode, but I'm just dragged down on a daily basis by my family. They're not in a state of mind to realize they're being selfish, etc.- I don't think any of them, husband included right now, can see beyond their own thoughts. I've always been the strong one and I still do feel stronger than all of them. My husband's family lives close and they're all quite aware of his depression. They are actually quite the co-dependents for his moping around. When he had depression as a teenager himself, his mom made every excuse in the world for him & fostered a "never tell anyone our business" mentality. My husband would be furious with me if he knew I was telling you all this- but I just have to let it out to someone or I'll explode! I figure it's pretty safe with you all, since you don't live close (well a couple of you do- but I can trust you :)
To those of you who pray, please pray for healing of minds for my husband and kids. I'll be okay if they are- I always bounce back pretty easily. The fact that I do makes it even harder for me to understand why they can't snap themselves out of it. I get frustrated and angry with their stupid moping and selfish behavior & I know I shouldn't feel that way & it certainly won't help anything. I've always been able to bounce back easily because feeling sorry for myself and moping around always seemed like such a stupid waste of time and energy. I know it's clinical and they can't just "make themselves" think differently.

Okay, I've gone on and on about this all- sorry. This is why I haven't been on the board recently, though. I'm just drained of all my energy and couldn't bring myself to read everyone's posts or comment about them. I will be reading them now & may or may not make comments.

Hope you all are okay-

Hugs,
Lisa

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

Lisa I tried EMDR therapy. It stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing therapy. This involves NO medication. It is working for me. I had my doubts but it enables you to release all the crap you've kept in for so long. For some it doesn't work but I'm on my way to feeling much better. Sorry that you and your family are having rough times. We're all here for you!

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

Sorry about your troubles I really hope things get better for you, I am having problems with my younger son (31yrs) it just overwhelms you at times i think. take care lisa

michelle

GOOFYLADIE's picture
GOOFYLADIE
Posts: 233
Joined: Aug 2009

It's good to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. You know without the bad things we don't know what is good. We would never know the difference. It keeps us all in check and girl this is why you need the board. We are here for you to lean on, that is what this board is about and if someone on here is perfectly happy 24/7 they need their head checked. Life without cancer has its ups and downs just as much as cancer does. So life is not perfect no matter the circumstance. We just get the chance to choose and make of it what we wish.

Your kids could just probably welcome a visit just from your primary pediatrican sometimes they can get the kids to talk when no one can. I would think your husband always being depressed would wear on the kids and you both. Treatment for your husband should be one of the first on the list. Does he not realize the burden he places on their shoulders. I am sure it leaves them with all kinds of wondering ideas and thoughts, why things aren't quite the way they should be. Hang on to your and and move forward for those precious children of yours. You said it yourself, you know where alot of it stems from, I know easier said than done, but mommas, we move mountains without hesitation. If you need help talk to you close friends and family and you all entervene and help. Remember hope goes for everything. Keep moving forward. If this sounds like I chewing on you, I am not. I just want you to see what I see from the outside from your comments,"if he brings you to it, he'll get you thru it!! Make it a Great day!
Goofyladie (Cass)
PS. I miss you posting

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

Lisa,

I am glad Craig pm'ed you and that you posted. I have also been thinking of you and hoping all was well.

I don't have a lot of experience with depression. Last summer my sister-in-law was very depressed and we were all worried about her. I told her she had to get to a doctor and now more than a year later she is on 3 medications and sees her therapist regularly. Unfortunately the medication has dulled her personality a bit but she is able to function and do what she needs to do for her business and family. It's tough being sympathetic towards her situation given my own as I wonder sometimes "what does she have to be depressed about??" but I remind myself that it's a physical as well as mental condition and I hope that one day she will be able to come off of the medication. I understand completely your feelings as you are dealing with something very serious and you're not the one depressed. Luckily you have the strength and fortitude that you do to move forward with your treatments and not let them hold you back from living your life to the fullest.

Have you thought of a holiday of your own, perhaps with some close girlfriends? I know you recently came east for a family vacation but maybe you need some time on your own to re-group a bit. The northeast is beautiful in the fall. I bet you could talk a friend into going "leaf-watching" in Vermont or Maine or New Hampshire. There is nothing like changing leaves, apple picking and autumn's slight chill to put some color in your cheeks.

I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that the recent chemo cocktail is working well and that you will soon be NED again.

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

It's good seeing you back, been wondering about you! I thought you went away for another vacation.

You poor girl, I am so sorry to hear about the depression in your hubby, your kids sound like they'd be fine if he was even abit more upbeat, but the environment in the home takes a toll on how the kids will act as well.. Are they in any kind of activities? It's hard trying to help someone who won't help himself, there's only so much you can do, but the first thing you must think about, is YOU! you are the sick one, and need their support, and I know your hubby doesn't want help, but I'd help me and my kids anyway, and get them maybe into activities, band, take them out, what kind of friends do they hang out with? sometimes the people they are hanging out with them also influence them, and maybe they just aren't hanging with the right people either.

Part of the kids being so mopey too is they are upset about you being sick as well, my kids are hating that I'm sick, because I'm also the strong one that does everything for them, I'm the one that is also the upbeat, perky one, always trying to make them happy, and my kids are very scared that I'm sick, but I try and remain as upbeat as possible too, to make sure they know people live with this disease for years, and there is always hope, alot of talking to them, and also they are in band, and I make sure they have plans for the weekends with friends, and to get them out as much as possible, to just forget for awhile about me being sick. Now, if I can stay out of the hospital long enough, maybe they won't be so sad.. lol..they expect me to be in the hospital now after every chemo, but I'm trying not too!!!

It doesn't help your kids that your hubby is depressed, he should be trying to get on something, he needs to recognize it can be helped, if he really wants it, it just takes time to get the right medications, and may take a few tries, has he read up on it, does he want to make things better, it's so hard to try and push someone to get help, because they can only help themselves, and you can't do it for them, I really hope he does try and find the strength to get help. You will all be in my prayers, and while this is going on, we are here for you whenever you need to vent! you can call me, pm me, anything, if you ever need to talk....I know we all need our friends to talk to once in awhile.

I wish I could do more to help you, but please don't leave here, and stay for support, we're here for you!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

You came to the right place to vent!! Hang in there!! Life is so hard at times. My husband was on Toprol and it really helped him. Kind of just took the edge off, and allowed his mind to be free of worry for awhile. Luckily he is back to his old self.

Take Care!

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Damn life is just hard sometimes and then you throw the cancer thing in and it is well just hard!
Glad you were able to vent here. I hope things get better. Maybe get them all together and have a group HUG.... You might get your head bit off but it's worth a try. Mean time I'll be thinking of you. Hope it gets better. Paula

tbeagle
Posts: 5
Joined: Sep 2009

I'm new and I know we don't know each other but I do know depression.
My husband is the one with cancer, and he's also had a long history of depression.
We went for years and years in a cycle just like you describe, with him so depressed and me unable to be "perky enough" to lift him and everyone else in the house out of the black cloud he carried around him.
Our story of therapy and meds is very, very similar to yours.
One day I got fed up and told him he had one last chance: therapy and meds or I was out, gone, didn't care how long we'd been married, that was it.
We went to a dr and he got on meds, we went to two sessions of therapy. In the 2d one the doctor said he didn't need to take the pills if he didn't like them.
He chose not to.
I chose to leave and take the kids. We had been married 20 years.
It took quite a long time, but he did come to see what an idiot he was. We are together now.
I'm not going to be like everyone else and say I hope you feel better, or Hang in there. I'm here to say, kick him in the butt! He has an obligation to you! And your children. An obligation to sit up straight at the table, to carry on a civil and polite conversation, to play with the kids, and participate in their lives. And if he CHOOSES not to take care of his obligations as he should, then he should know that you will take actions he won't like. And as a cancer patient I think you deserve extra care FROM him not FOR him.
Be well, Lisa. I'm thinking of you tonight.
End of rant,
Susan

daydreamer110761's picture
daydreamer110761
Posts: 497
Joined: Dec 2008

very sorry about what's going on - but tbeagle - way to go! I was also with someone for 18 years, and begged him to get help or I was out. Although this was long before the cancer got me, he was just miserable to live with. He also spent a lot of time doing whatever drugs he could get his hands on, but would not go to the doc to get anything he needed, no matter how hard I begged. Our kids were miserable. the last 4 years he wouldn't work at all, it was me holding down 2-3 jobs, taking care of the kids, etc. I told him I was going to leave, he told me he would get help. I dropped him off and he walked out the back door. I left about 3 weeks later.

The end of the story? My daughter lives with me, is 19 and I have her in an on line high school. my 17 year old chose (let me say that it was against my wishes completely) to live with his father and is now serving time in a juvenile prison. He never would have been able to help me at all once I was diagnosed with cancer. Not at all.

Lisa - I hope you take tbeagles advice and kick him in the but!

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you already were and will continue with them for you.....May I make one suggestion........its called "Tough Love"...I understand what you are going through but you need the support of your family, your husband especially because they draw off the attitude that he takes and if he is smiling they will sense that you are better and eventually things will be better........Tough Love is simply copying off the post you started this thread with and leaving it for him to read...Lisa, he needs a wake up call and in order for anyone to get better it has to start with him....He disperses the attitude that everyone picks up on...Remember, he is your partner, through thick and thin, better or worse, he will come around but sometimes tough love is what gets things started getting better...You have nothing to lose......God Bless you, Clift

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Clift, I was just going to say the same thing, the only way they may get help is using the tough love...totally agree!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Lisa,I agree with Buzzard.I was pretty depressed when my hubby got diagnosed.Although I was helping him with everything and taking care of everything at home,but I wasn't myself.I felt like I lost something and my memory had gone really bad.This suprised me because I used to be very good memory.I also lost my appetite very badly and I lost 5 pound in 5 days plus I was pretty fit already.Finally I told myself that this is not the "I" want to be,so I started to look for information and support on internet,luckily I found this board.So,let your husband come here is possible a good idea.Anyway Lisa,you have been an inspiration for all of us.Please come to vent whenever you need to.I am sorry to hear about your problem with the family.You are in my prayers and I hope your family will get better soon.Best luck and best wishes to you with the coming scans.Take care.Hugsss.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

is a great book for anyone to read....it basically allows you and gives you the opportunity to take care of the person that needs it most "Numero Uno"...thats #1 to us Ky Guys...it is a great read and really puts things in perspective......

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted quickly to say thank you to all of you for your responses- I just read all of them. I'll write back again tomorrow or the next day after I digest some of the info. I'm taking a "quick peek" on the board, as I don't want anyone in the family walking up behind me and reading this at the moment. I'm feeling better this afternoon. Thanks again & I'll "talk" to you all again soon.

Lisa

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

We all love you...........God Bless you and yours......Clift

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 445
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Lisa, I was getting worried about you. I have been praying for you and will continue to.I'm really sorry to hear what you have been going thru. You have always been so encouraging and such a blessing to me personally. I know many people must feel the same way about you. Just as you have concern for all of us, we have concern for you. This is most definately a safe place for you to vent and express all your feelings. You have been given some wonderful advice. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and encourage you to vent as much as you need to. I know sometimes I'm hesitant to bring something up because it might be depressing or not encouraging...but that's exactly what were here for...to help each other thru this journey we are all on. You are a special person and it's ok not to be "up" all the time. Take the time you need and then be refreshed and back to yourself. Know that you mean alot to all of us and if you just need to read posts and not answer for awhile - that's ok. We will look forward to hearing from you when you're ready.

God Bless You All,

Debbie (gramma)

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

I think you and I are in the same marital boat. My wife has terrible bouts of depression. She's taken a few different things and has been to counseling. Nothing! I did get an idea though. I know exercise helps with depression. My wife refuses to exercise but she has an incredible work ethic. I asked her to start working more hours so we could get ahead on our bills. She's now working six days a week about 7 hours per day. When she gets off, I make sure we go to the park or lake. We have a 3 year old. I act like I can't keep up with the boy and she spends the next hour chasing him all around. Exercise complete. I've been doing this for the last few months and it has absolutely worked. She's to tired to be depressed. I know it's dirty but she's happier, I'm happier and she's a better mom.

I do sympathize with you about your kids. Luckily, my son hasn't shown any signs of depression. I would find it hard to be strong if I knew my son was going through what my wife has been going through.

mommyof2kds's picture
mommyof2kds
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

HI Lisa, sorry to hear about the difficult time you and your family are going through. I hope foe peace of mind for you all. It is hard to deal with other issues when you are trying to focus on getting better yourself. Hang in there girl, it has to get better. "HUGS" Petrina

mommyof2kds's picture
mommyof2kds
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

HI Lisa, sorry to hear about the difficult time you and your family are going through. I hope foe peace of mind for you all. It is hard to deal with other issues when you are trying to focus on getting better yourself. Hang in there girl, it has to get better. "HUGS" Petrina

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about what you are living through right now. Thank you for checking in and for trusting us all enough to open up. And thank you Craig for reaching out to Lisa.

Your story underscores just how much this ^&#@ing disease can knock the stuffing out of our families. It truly is a family affair. Does your cancer clinic offer anything in the way of support for families?

You've helped so many on this board with your upbeat and upfront thoughts and support. Do conserve your energy. Reading and contributing here does take a lot energy. Take a break from "being there" for us for a while now and let us "be there" for you Lisa in whatever ways we can. There is a lot of wisdom and compassion here and you are held in our hearts.

Peace and blessings... Rob

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

Don't apologize and don't worry aobut us, you have your hands full and need to address YOUR situation. We're not going anywhere soon. I think your actions are enabling them to continue their dysfunction. The amount of denial in people still somehow manages to amaze me. From people having family members with serious cancer dx and not getting a checkup to your situation. Clift's suggestion of leaving a copy of this post (or a slightly modifed version) is a good idea. I would also get EVERYONE into counseling. To me it sounds like the kids need it as does your husband and you too, you are all in this boat together, like it or not. I would imagine that the counselor would also get some of the family on some medication. Depression is a chemical imbalance. One word of caution, I would HOPE a good doctor would not prescribe antidepressants that are not designed for children. I was surprised to see that your youngest was on Wellbutrin, it's not made for kids and can cause more serious depression and worse. Please make sure YOU (or someone you trust) research what, if anything, they are prescribed. With depression it's not just medication that is meeded, you need to combine it with counseling too. I think that your husband needs it, as do your kids, as do you & your husband, and the entire family. I know it sounds like a lot and really it's none of my business but from how you described your situation, if it were MY sitation that is how I would approach it. I do not mean to judge you or your family at all so forgive me if I'm stepping on your toes. Your 16 yr old also is being a 16 yr old. That's bad timing for the cancer. They cop an attitude anyway at that age. We are entering that territory now with Dylan. I'm sure your having cancer is compounding his teenager-isms. This is not something that will just go away if ignored, it will get worse. I know you said your MIL always made excuses for your husband. "God help us if the neighbors find out that we are all normal human beings!" My Mom has some of that in her too, it's old school 'pretend it never happened' mentality. Well, it did happen and it is happening. Your husband has to snap out of it. What would he do if God forbid something were to happen to you with or without it being cancer? He needs a wakeup call. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Too often many men try to be too manly (whatever the F that means?) and suck it up and deny or pretend they are not depressed when in fact they are. It comes out sooner or later.

Hang in there but try to get professional help, at least do it for yourself so you can deal with the rest of your family.
-phil

ittapp's picture
ittapp
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2009

Heading into chemo this morning but read your post and it made me so sad. I want you to know that my husband also has depression(bad) for years he did nothing about it. But I kept demanding that he see someone and finally did. He is like a different mand in the good way. He has patience with the kids, stress, coaching. He also see's his Dr. quarterly for talk therapy. Please get him in to see someone. Once he is fixed the kids will follow suit because the houshold will be a pleasant place to be. You need to take a break for yourself. It wouldn't hurt to have a family meeting and discuss these issues with everyone. Hang in there, Patti

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Lisa,

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. It's so hard when you're fighting the disease and trying to stay upbeat and then family things pile up on top of that.

I'll be praying that sunny skies will abound soon!

*hugs*
Gail

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Hi Lisa,
I woke up this morning thinking about you. I've said a prayer for you and our family. I hope that your husband will get into therapy. Depression can be lifted from people with good therapy and meds. You are a very strong lady and you need to take care of yourself. Please do something kind for yourself, whatever makes you feel good. Also, there has been talk about exercise helping depression and that is soooo true. Will your husband walk with you in the evening? Maybe if you make it about you getting out and not him he'd be willing to go.
I'm so sorry your family is suffering like this. Cancer is indeed a family situation. Are your kids teachers aware of your situation? We have pulled in everyone at school and neighbors, etc to get some help. Every little bit helps.
Take care. I'll be thinking of you today.
Aloha,
Kathleen

donnare
Posts: 266
Joined: Jun 2009

((((Lisa))))

Sorry to hear you've got so much on your plate right now. Try to put yourself first (hard for moms, isn't it) and take good care of yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Donna

luv3jay's picture
luv3jay
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

Oh Lisa! I'm sorry you are going through this, but I'm glad to hear that it sounds like you are able to handle it all. I know last year when I was first dx'd, my children went through a phase...they all failed 2nd quarter. But we were able to talk to the guidance counselors and they bounced back well. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

-Sheri

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

((((LISA))))

I am so sorry you're going through all this at a time when you need the troops to be rallying around you.

Honestly, I don't know how we mothers get through cancer and having teenagers. My son was AWFUL to me at that age when I was going through my stuff. As for the 13 yr old crying, sounds so typical hormonally especially when put with the emotional upheaval of having a sick mama. Everything at 13 is magnified by 1000. I feel for you. Thankfully I was homeschooling most of my kids at the time, so school could be as relaxed and simple as I needed it to be. I made sure that the teachers for the ones in school were aware of what we were going through.

Is your family getting enough Vit D and Fish Oils? Living in the northern climes, if I don't get enough I can feel myself spiral down into the blues big time. That's something your hubby and kids would maybe be open to taking since it's not "medication" but much needed nutrients. Is your family eating too many sweets and junk foods? That can create personality changes, surly moods, depression etc. Just some thoughts and these are areas that you can contribute to and control somewhat--at least what comes into your house.

My prayers go up for you today.

Hope all goes well with your PET and mamo.

peace, emily

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi again everyone,

Thank you all so very, very much for your words of advice and support. Emily- I appreciate you sharing about your kids with me. I'll address some of the others' individual posts later. I'm doing much better, but do have a busy day today. I have my PET/CT scan at 10:00 (Calif. time), then I'm on to pick up my son mid day out of his high school to take him over to the charter school he's enrolling in for a placement test (he's going to be on their independent study program- he really needed a change of scene for now). I have been reading up on some good advice for how to live with someone with depression (x4 people for me).
Their situation hasn't changed much, but the way I'm looking at it and now planning on coping with it has changed, so it's making me feel sooo much better! I'm addressing the issues with my kids for now with 5HTP and sam-e. It seems to be working in my youngest- the older two need to give it a couple of weeks at least to see if it helps. We may end up going the prescription route if it doesn't work, but I want to give it a chance due to the bad experience we had w/ my youngest on prescription meds.

Anyhow, I'm off to go drive kids to school, then on to my PET scan. I'll check in w/ you all either later today or tomorrow morning.

Thanks again!
Lisa

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

All my prayers and thoughts are for you today in your family concerns and also your scan...God Bless you.....Clift

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

another very very full plate. I will be thinking of you and your kids today Lisa. Good luck with the scan....fingers and toes crossed.

mags

GOOFYLADIE's picture
GOOFYLADIE
Posts: 233
Joined: Aug 2009

Yeah, forward motion. Oh, how it feels sooooo good. You are back in control. Sometimes a break and gets to where we need to be . I am so glad to see you pushing forward. Keep going girl, there is great stuff coming your way, I feel it in your in your post. Keep moving on,YES!!!
Make it a Great Day!
Goofyladie (Cass)

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Lisa,

Way to go to enroll your son in a school that can better meet his needs at this time....thinking outside the box, I find, is a must in cancer livin'. My daughter, who's a senior this year and has been in public school since 8th grade, decided after the first day of school that she wanted to come back home to homeschool. It was her decision and it's turning out to be a real blessing since I have been struggling with this Mast Cell Activation Disorder.

A couple years ago that son of mine who I told you was AWFUL (yes, in caps) to me, told me that when he found out that I had cancer he stayed home alone in his room and cried all day while the rest of us had gone off to a water park for a "fun" family day before I left for my surgery. At the time he was just a surly ugly-acting teenager. Little did I know he was in such turmoil and pain. I know, how ignorant and naive of me to not see it. I tell you this to learn from my mistaken opinion....in hind sight (20/20) I wish I had more understanding and awareness of his stuff, but I just thought he was being a typical selfish creep. (which he was don't get me wrong). HA! So hopefully you won't find out years later what was really going on inside.....

I hope all goes well with your PET today.

Jeremiah 30:17

peace, emily

rrob
Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2007

Lisa,

Haven't posted in a while. Sorry things have been rough. I'll add you to my prayers. My youngest son had just turned 17 when I was dx'd and I was pretty out of it with shock, etc. He seemed to handle it well, but he missed a lot of school with any illness you (or he) could imagine. I don't know if he needed to stay close or what, but we did battle quite a bit the next year over going to school. We both survived, but some days were really tough. I think having teenagers is difficult enough without having to deal with feeling so yucky, too. I hope the road smooths out soon for you. If you're like me, the bumps in the road are speed bumps that seem a little too high these days. I'm ready for a nice smooth patch. As far as the depression goes, my older son took a major nose dive when I was dx'd. He was in college, stopped going to class, slept all the time, and basically shut me out of his life as if I were already gone. He failed the semester. When he came home at Christmas and saw I was not dying, he seemed to snap out of it. I did have him see a counselor as a safety valve-he only went once or twice, but he has the relationship established if he ever needs it.

Good luck. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Rebecca

dmdwins
Posts: 453
Joined: Aug 2008

Just wanted you to know that I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Dawn

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Hi Lisa,
I just said a prayer for you and your family. Thinking of you today.
Aloha,
Kathleen

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