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PT/CT Scans Friday...please pray!!

ittapp's picture
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2009

Hello all, I have had 7 total chemo treatments with Folfox plus avastan. I had scans after the 5th and belly was clear, Dr. wanted me to do two more treatments to see if it would work on the liver. Dr. said they could be dieing but not shrinking yet, or the chemo isn't working the same for the liver. If scans show it really lighting up they will change my regimen to CPT-11 if not I will continue on with Folfox until they shrink enough for RFA. I am very scared and anxious about all of this. My husband is breaking down and I just need a little support from you guys. Please pray for great results on scans. I know this is petty but I don't want to lose my hair on CPT-11 either. It is just hard to lose hair (male or female)I know, I know PETTY......Just feeling emotional today God Bless, Patti

dixchi's picture
Posts: 438
Joined: Jun 2008

Special thoughts and positive vibes are going out to you
for the scans; scanxiety rules right now (I love the
Pedigree commercial "dogs rule").....treatment is
such a leveler about our physical appearance...maybe
it just brings us closer to what really is important
and we realize it is not a few hair follicles no matter
how many commercials we get bombarded with.


Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Mornin' Patti

It's been too long...hasn't it?

I should have written you, but don't want to bother you because I know you've got alot going -but I have been thinking about you...saw a post or 2 from you so I knew you were around but not on as much - I understand that completely.

Please hang in there - tell your husband it will be ok too. You've made great progress so far and you've done 7 treatments already - I only did 8 of the Oxy - you're tougher than I am, see?

I'll be glad to help you with RFA and CyberKnife too if you need that...I've done them both and know them intimately. I actually left a post with Winney concerning RFA, you might have read it or maybe not.

RFA is a major surgery - it's usually done as an open procedure, but I've heard that it can be done laprascopically, I guess it depends on the size and location. My tumor was 9cm about the size of a small orange - little bit bigger than a tennis ball, so they had to do an "open" on me to get to it. Due to blood vessel location, they went as far as they could. Subsequent MRI showed residual remnant of tumor, so we did CyberKnife for 3 sessions and they cleared it up at the local level - systemic Folfox followed and we added Avastin and Xeloda too.

It is not an outpatient procedure by any means - it is full hopsitalization - I was in about 7 days I think.

RFA is highly effective and I would have no problem with having this as my surgical option - not at all. I did the RFA, CyberKnife, and then the Folfox, Avastin, and Xeloda after the surgery...I'm still here...I feel that you will be too.

How can I help your husband? Is there something I can say, anything that I can offer? I'm sure he is just having one of those "reality checks" where he gets panicked and starts thinking the worst. But really, I think you've done a marvelous job with your treatment plan and there has been much improvement - REALLY! My opinion may not count for much, but I'm really impressed.

Your attitude is much better too :)

You're resolved to fight, there is less scared in your voice - today you are only voicing normal concerns during a very long fight in this stage of your journey.

Does it help you to know that I'm still here if you need me - you know I mean it - you want to yell or something, PM me and let me have it...or any question your husband has, I'll be glad to try and help.

I hope to meet you one day and say hello to you and your beautiful family. I believe with all my heart that you will be OK - look at me, they've kept me alive for over 5+ years, so we can all continue to live and keep going as long as we all can. It's certainly changed since I first started - some of those procedures and treatments have kept me alive.

Just let me know how I can help you or your husband...I'll keep you both in my mind and will pray for your scans to be even better than they were last time.

Now, can I get a smile :)

Here's a big CyberHug from Texas ((((PATTI))))

Your friend

ittapp's picture
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2009

Thank you sooooo much Craig, I literally start feeling better when I read your posts. I have been around lurking (all the time) I am just not as articulate as most of you on here, and you guys say what I am thinking anyways. I am trying to be strong everyday...The passing of Patrick S. was a hard one for both my husband and I, as I am sure it has been for everyone. You go about your everyday life and then bam a dose of reality.It is gut wrenching when my husband breaks down, which is not often. I will let him know he can write you with questions or just to talk. Thank you for that offer. I have found that my family calls less and less and they just want to know about how I feel. They forget about Chuck and he was like a brother to all of my brothers. Thank you for your prayer and to everyone praying for good scan results. I for some reason feel I will be ok when you say that you feel it with all of your heart. ;) Thank you for that and God Bless you, Patti ( I pray for everyone on here every night)

mommyof2kds's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

Sending positive thoughts your way for good results friday..Hang in there.. Petrina

Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008


I just want you to know that I will say an extra prayer today and tomorrow and Friday that your CT/PET scans show reduction in the liver mets. I can "hear" the worry in your post (as we all worry) but I can hear the strength in your post as well. You have strength to do whatever is needed of you, be it more FOLFOX infusions, be it losing your hair, bet it going through surgery...whatever is needed you will do. Moms have the strength of mountains and we will do whatever is needed for our families.

You are in my thoughts,

Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

I said a prayer for you and your family right now. I pray that you may have some peace in the days to come. I know that waiting is so hard. We are all here with you.

ldot123's picture
Posts: 276
Joined: Apr 2008

Hi Patti,

My positive vibes are with you. Waiting is the worst. I had a CT scan last week and probably won't hear anything until I see the Onc next week. I am getting used to this and take one day at a time. If you are up to it go see some live music or the theatre. I find when I go see any art form in a live situation it transports me and allows me to live in the moment. It especially happened this past summer when my wife and I went to see Westside Story at the Stratford Festival up here in Canada. It was wonderful.

Stay cool,

Posts: 453
Joined: Aug 2008

Oh Patti, I remember the fear as if it was yesterday. I will be praying for you and your family. I will expect to hear GREAT news. Your body had responded well after the first treatments and I bet it has done its job on that stubborn liver too. Please keep us posted as we all care about you and are here for you.


Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi dear Patti,we all feel emotional from time to time as long as we are involved with these things.You are in my prayers and I pray for a excellent outcome of your scans.Best wishes and best luck to you with the scan.Take care.

robinvan's picture
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

Of course you are feeling scared and anxious! There are few among us who have not felt that way. Let's hope that the FOLFOX has been working well. But it is certainly nice to know there is an alternative (CPT 11). I had both, 3 months each.

I'll be thinking of you in the days ahead. Don't forget to do something fun!!

Rob; in Vancouver

GOOFYLADIE's picture
Posts: 233
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi, Patti
I have read alot of your posts. You and your family are doing a great job. You all just hang on, today is a day for you guys to let go and ride the ride once in awhile its called taking a breath and breathing. Sometimes we have to do this in and out just to gear up for the next adventure. You and your family sound terrific and fantastic things are in the process of moving forward. If ever you have questions don't ever hesitate to get a second opinion, it is YOUR life. Any doctor that understands our cancer world at all, knows the turmoil we go thru, and they themselves if put in our shoes would do the same thing. So lighten up your load watch a good comedy with the family and friends and let loose today. I am an 11 year stage IV colon cancer survivor, I was told I would not make it. I am now 11 years clear. There is always something like options of treatment, we may not like it, but it is options, so with these options comes choices, then as we make our choices the options change as we keep moving forward. I know the down days suck, hang on tomorrow will be better. Make it a great day!!!
Goofyladie (Cass)

karguy's picture
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I will pray your scans turn out ok,and I will send positive vibes your way.

ittapp's picture
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful words of encouragement, I really needed it today and thank you all from the bottom of my heart! God Bless all of you, Patti

grammadebbie's picture
Posts: 460
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Patti,

Feelings aren't petty they are real. We can't help our feelings but we can help each other thru them. Losing hair is tramatic and it effects each of us differently. To some it's just a reminder of the fight we're in, some feel less attractive, some feel like it makes them more vulnerable. All kinds of feelings - none right or wrong. You are beautiful and you are fighting the battle of your life. You go girl. Keep it up and know that you are covered in prayers.

Blessings to you,

Debbie (gramma)

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5064
Joined: Feb 2008

I'm praying for you, dear.


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