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Need some info

Meredith B
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2009

For about the last 4 months my mother has not been "feeling well". It finally came to the point where she had lost so much weight and was constantly fatigued that I made her go to the er, where she works by the way, and get checked out. They ran a bunch of tests and did a chest x-ray and determined she has COPD. If anything, after the er visit it seems like she got worse. On follow up with her doctor he ordered more tests and a cat scan. On Friday we received the results that she had pnuemonia and a tumor on her lung on the bottom right side. We will be getting a call on Wednesday as to when she will be having her biopsy. We aren't sure what type of biopsy she is having, but I told her to ask when they call. They put her on antibiotics for the pnuemonia and I have to admit she looks so much better and the last two days she did not spend all day and night sleeping in bed. My main concern is her weight loss. She is so skinny it's scary. I read on another web site that unintentional or rapid weight loss automatically means cancer unless it can be ruled something else (like thyroid problems). She was a smoker for many many years and we are all fearing the worst. Has anyone been through this and what was the outcome? I am scared I am going to lose my best friend. I live about 2 hours away from her, but am staying here until we find out what's going on. She definetly wants me to stay as she hasn't had the energy to do anything and I am greatly helping her out. My husband is even coming up here on his days off to be with our son so I don't have to leave her. Please pray for my mom I don't know what I will do if I lose her.

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

First you need to slow down, and take stock of what you do know. Just because she has COPD dosen't mean cancer. I have been diagnosed with COPD, long before my cancer was diagnosed. The rapid weight lose does not mean cancer either. We so many times read up on diseases and self diagnose, the internet can be a dangerous place fror that.
Let them run the tests needed to make an informed diagnoses and then they can setup a treatment plan. Even if it is cancer, it doesn't mean immediately termonal. There are treatments that can help increase her survival rate. BUT first slow down, know for sure before jumping.
I have survived a 21 ft fall(taking 2 yrs of rehab) had numerous heart attacks which left me with 45% of my heart working, have early onset of Altzheimers and Parkinsons (because of to many head injuries, had/having numerous strokes, and have terminal lung cancer that has mets to other regions of the body. I am currently on Hospice, but my wife and I are still living our lives and enjoying every moment together to create memories.
Even if the Doctors say cancer, she still has a life to life and she will need her families love and support, with positive imput to continue through the hard times. BUT she is alive and you can continue to share time with her now and create lasting memories, it's up to you if you create sad ones or happy ones. Believe me the positive imput and atitude really help, I am 49yrs old with 3 children and 5 grandchildren, I have outlasted the Doctors diagnoses by surrounding my self with family support and positive thinking by everyone.
She will need your help and laughter, smiles to get through the early times, but you need first to find out the who what wheres first. The whys and whens are unimportant and will just cause you and her undo stress.
It is sad to saay we all must pass on, but it is how we live that matters. Enjoy the time you have with her, create lasting memories, it is a shame that it is times like this we realize the fear of losing someone we love. But you can make this time a special time for herand yourself or you can make it the most saddening of times. STRESS has no place in her life right now, nor does it in yours.

Don't go by time limits Doctors might give, they have been right with me yet, and I plan to keep going for a while longer yet.

Our Prayers and Best Wishes are with Your Mom and You and the family,
Dan and Margi Harmon

Meredith B
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you so much for your last post. I really needed that! First I want to say how sorry I am for your situation. I can't even imagine what you have been through and I am sure you have given so many people hope. There is definetly someone looking out for you. The internet can be a great place to get info, but unfortunetly it can also drive you crazy thinking about the what if's. I think I will stick to talking to the doctor's instead of self educating myself via the internet. Tomorrow I am taking my mom for more blood work at the hospital. It sure seems like they have been taking a lot of blood lately. I will have to ask the doctor's about that. On Friday we are meeting with the doctor who will be performing the biopsy. I truly am thankful everyday that I have her. She won't admit it, but I can tell she is really scared right now. I am so glad I can be here to help her out. My son is 20 months old and I have to admit absolutely adorable. He is such a great distraction away from the situation. I love seeing him sitting on her lap or going over and hugging her and the big wet kisses on the lips he gives her before bed. That little boy really puts into perspective the important things in life. Thank you again for your kind words. Please take care of one another and please know my prayers are with you as well.

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