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Now what? What's next? How long? Why??

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2009

My nephew was just diagnosed with Stage 4 prostrate cancer. He's also diabetic has always taken care of himself and now this. They said, no chemo, no radiation. He's in no pain, and we have no prognosis. Now what? We just sit, wait, look at him? This is horrible.

He was the boy next door to me. I introduced him to my niece and they hit it off, feel in love and married. My niece is a trooper, holding on and trying to keep a stiff upper lip.

We are all very close. Again... Now what? Can anyone give us some hope?

lewvino's picture
Posts: 1010
Joined: May 2009

Its great that you care so much for your nephew and want to help him.
First thing that you need to do is to gather some facts.
How old is your nephew, What is his PSA level, What is his Gleason score, Has he had any type of treatments in the past for Prostrate Cancer? Is he seeing his local GP Doc or a specialist? Have they done a Bone Scan, A CAT Scan or other tests to see where the cancer is.

I'm not sure why they would say they can not treat hi but information can help. There are men on this forum and their wifes, significant others that have been done the road and have lots of good information for you.

Good luck, will pray for your family and hope to hear soon from you.

Posts: 43
Joined: Aug 2009


Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks for responding. I will get more info.
When I said takes care of himself. I meant that he is a diabetic.
Has been for some time. He is on insulin and always watches his diet
and has never been overweight, exercises, not a drinker or smoker.
Now this. His brother was a diabetic he passed away when he was 34 years old.
He never took care of himself, drank, ate and because of all that wasn't
with us very long. My nephew is the complete opposite. Go figure.
As soon as I get some numbers I will send another reply.
Thanks for your help.

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2009

He's 60. Yeah! Shocked? I'm 61. My neice is only 7 years younger than I am. She's my oldest brother's (now deceased) daughter. She's more like a sister to me. Anyway...
he's 60, he's diabetic, been on insulin for years. Had his physical last year, nothing! No sigh of any prostrate problems, only the diabetes.

The numbers she gave me were 60 and 80 % I know nothing what she's talking about. They found this out just about a month ago. Maybe I'm stupid, but how can this be if last year he was ok. I will check on what you asked, and get back to you. Their insurance was jerking them around, he has worked for the Gas Company for over 25 years. I put her in contact with my friend who works for a cancer dr. she's helping them and has been very helpful. I'll get back to you on the numbers, i'll call my friend, she has most of his info.

My neice calls me and her voice quivers and I feel like crap. There is nothing I can do or say that will help her. Her son is my god-son, he won't speak to anyone except me and he says he doesn't want anyone talking to him about his dad. It's so sad.

Getting old is the pits! I know there aren't any "why" answers, but talking to those of you who know really helps. Thanks.....

lewvino's picture
Posts: 1010
Joined: May 2009

That's why these forums are there to help each other.
I am 54 and Type II Diabetic. Just had my Prostate cancer surgery 8 days ago. Has your nephew had a biopsy? Those numbers that you gave could mean anything. That's why info is very critical.

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2009

I'm checking with my friend who's helping my neice. She works for a Cancer specialist. My poor niece was devastated and they didn't know what to do. I called my friend, she has all the info and helped them with their insurance. They gave them the run-around until my friend got a hold of them. BUT, when I spoke to my niece this morning, she said that he had stage 4 and there was nothing they could do. She said that the dr told her that his age will help him and he's pretty strong but there was nothing they could do. No chemo, no radiation, nothing because it was already at stage 4. He's in no pain, still working, just very tired from no sleep and being scared. He's shut down, he was always pretty shy and quiet but now my niece says he's just not talking to anyone and just depressed.

Posts: 14
Joined: Jul 2009

Your newphew needs to find a different Dr - yes stage 4 is a bad diagnosis but he can get some treatment - my husband is also stage 4 and was put on hormone therapy when he was diagnosed a year ago - this bought us more time together He is now on chemo and a clinical trial and pain is being controlled by low dose morphine. My husband is only 51 was diagnosed at 50 due to some low back pain.

Posts: 9
Joined: Jun 2009

I agree with Amy41. You need to find another doctor for your nephew. My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago with state 4. He is now 56. The first doctor we went to wanted to start Chemo immediately. I did some research, and found another doctor! They started him on hormone treatment, which worked for appx. 1 year, and then did chemo, again worked for appx. 1 year, He is now on a trial drug, and his numbers are low and steady, which is all we can hope for. His PC has spread to his bones. Please get another opinion. If you have to travel, then travel, it is well worth it. We lived in Illinois when my husband was diagnosed, we moved to Houston to get the best treatment. And I am so glad we did.

2ndBase's picture
Posts: 220
Joined: Mar 2004

I was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer 5.5 years ago and was 52 at the time. I had one shot of Lupron and 40 or so radiation treatments. Surgery was not an option as it had already spread. I got all the stress out of my life and am doing ok. There is no cure at this point and my psa is rising rapidly again but with a little pain med and plenty of rest I still work and play golf a couple times a week. Hope is all there is but it is all we need. Life is what we make of it and we have to play the hand we are dealt. Seriously getting the stress out of your life does wonders and treatments may make life somewhat better. I personally refuse to take any more as chemo is not worth the couple months on average that it extends my life. Also our system as it is today led to me losing my job, insurance and caused me to have to file bankruptcy. Hopefully our leaders will make this injustice a thing of the past for future generations. I hope your nephew is able to deal with this problem and that you are able to let him do it on his own terms. Everyone needs to make their own decisions about dealing with death. I know this on a very personal level.

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