My journey not yet started

Options
ewedee
ewedee Member Posts: 6
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Well 7 weeks ago I had a whole husband. Since then he has beed diagnosed with colon cancer, rushed to surgery for a colostomy, and facing chemo. I am still reeling from it all. He will start chemo on the 14th of September. I know knowledge is power but when I read about how it will be for him I become so afraid. It makes me so sad that cancer patient have to go through all the pain and unplesantness of it all. And we as caregivers are trying to be upbeat and do "nursie" things that we aren't prepared for. Some days I think his chemo will be okay and others like today after reading posts by caregivers I am afraid. Doesn't seem real since we have a waiting period.

Comments

  • trish07
    trish07 Member Posts: 138
    #2
    Options
    My heart goes out to you.
    My heart goes out to you. My husband was also rushed to surgery for emergency {ileostomy}. One day normal life..next...UTTER "CHAOS". It was all so overwelming. My mind infiltrated with so much...so much..too much. That was 2 years ago. Your right, knoweledge is power...and it is scary. Learn all you can about your husbands illness,the more prepared you are the stronger you will be as an advocate for him. Take a deep breath...and try to focus on the task at hand...what he needs today...at this moment. When it is time for chemo treatment then you can deal with that. Just as you will deal with anything that lies ahead in your journey....next week...next month...next year...one thing at a time. Remember that as caregivers we share "OUR EXPERIENCES", it does not mean that your experience will be exactly the same. So don't be afraid of what you read in here. It is a knowledge base of experience and support and caring. As you face obstacles along the way there will be someone here that has faced it themselves and they will help you. I wish I had known about this site before, it would have been a great comfort. Be kind to yourself...you will find strengh and courage you never knew you had...one day at a time.
    Bless you and yours, Trish
  • ewedee
    ewedee Member Posts: 6
    #3
    Options
    trish07 said:

    My heart goes out to you.
    My heart goes out to you. My husband was also rushed to surgery for emergency {ileostomy}. One day normal life..next...UTTER "CHAOS". It was all so overwelming. My mind infiltrated with so much...so much..too much. That was 2 years ago. Your right, knoweledge is power...and it is scary. Learn all you can about your husbands illness,the more prepared you are the stronger you will be as an advocate for him. Take a deep breath...and try to focus on the task at hand...what he needs today...at this moment. When it is time for chemo treatment then you can deal with that. Just as you will deal with anything that lies ahead in your journey....next week...next month...next year...one thing at a time. Remember that as caregivers we share "OUR EXPERIENCES", it does not mean that your experience will be exactly the same. So don't be afraid of what you read in here. It is a knowledge base of experience and support and caring. As you face obstacles along the way there will be someone here that has faced it themselves and they will help you. I wish I had known about this site before, it would have been a great comfort. Be kind to yourself...you will find strengh and courage you never knew you had...one day at a time.
    Bless you and yours, Trish

    Thank you trish07. I will
    Thank you trish07. I will be on this site often, gleaning what I can from all of you brave warriors such as yourself.
  • Amy41
    Amy41 Member Posts: 13
    #4
    Options
    Chemo and Aftermath
    Every person handles chemo differerntly every type of chemo is different - I feel I have been blessed my husband is handling chemo for prostate cancer will meaning no nauseau or throwing up for me to clean up. He is tired, he has lost muscle mass, his already thinning hair is thinner. You still have a whole husband - but he broke:-( - it sucks it happens and you don't need to be upbeat all the time - pick fights - if you try to be normal and pretend everything is aok you will just end up hurting yourself and if its becomes hard to deal with day to day life and the reality of the situation - be sure to talk to a counselor - I'm on a mild antideppressant otherwise I don't think I would be coping.
  • esined
    esined Member Posts: 22
    #5
    Options
    I completely understand what
    I completely understand what you are going through. My husband was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer in his lung and 4 lymph nodes on April 6th. It was a fluke that it was found as there were no symptoms. Then the wait to know the type of cancer (lung or colon) because he had had a colectomy, then the wait for the oncology appointment to determine the treatment plan, and then the wait for chemo.
    I also did research 'til I couldn't take it. Some days I would not turn on the computer.
    Chemo day will be scary, there is no avoiding that, but chemo nurses are some of the nicest and best nurses I have every run across. They take time with the patient; explain everything; answer all questions and are not embarassed by anything you want to know.
    Someone had suggested to us that we start a journal. Put down your questions for the doctor and the chemo nurses so you will remember to ask and then write down the answers because there is so much to remember.
    With my husband it took a couple of appointments to get over being embarassed to ask questions about how to deal with the side effects, so he suffered more than he needed to. The nurses and doctors know what the possible side effects are and generally have a medication or suggestion on how to help.
    I would suggest not making any plans for a the first couple of rounds of chemo. It took us three rounds to get a sense of what will happen and generally when.
    I am also finding that we are having to learn a whole new language. What I mean by this is the noises each of us make. Before when my husband huffed it meant he was irritated at something I did, now that same noise is his frustration with running to the restroom yet again. His deep breaths are now just that and not irritation at our daughter like it used to be.
    And my deep breaths are a means of releasing stress and not frustration at him.
    The best thing you have done is find this site. I found it when I felt I was at the end of my rope with everything. Just reading it helped to know that what my husband was experiencing and what I was feeling is normal.
    The people here are honest and helpful and are sincerely caring.

Discussion Boards