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help me please

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2009

i am 35 and my wife and i are have in trouble!! i have been fighting kidney cancer or 5 years and right now i feel the best i'v felt in 5 years.i am still fight ing cancer but i'm back, from the dazed and confused and mean person i have been seance we started this 5 years ago. but now that i'm better my wife does not feel excited or intimate with me now. she says that she has grown and that i have stayed the same( she has learned to live without me) and i still need her to live. this is true i do still love her like it was are wedding day!!! but she does not have those feelings for me.she says that she still loves me like best fiends. that she wants to take care of me and does not want to leave me but can't be intimate wit me.

i have been sleeping on the couch for the last 7 nights as a experiment by her choosing. i have asked her and tried to discus where thing with her to see how she is and how she thought the experiment might be going. but she does not know. she tells me that she does not want to divorce but to day tell me that considers us separated.

i don't know where to go from here. i cant live with out er but i don't know how to live like this ether.

Posts: 14
Joined: Jun 2009

Says don't give up. Maybe u should talk to a specialist,u don't have to make any decisions but it would sure help, maybe clarify what u would like to do. It's a shame when a long relationship goes wrong, unfortunatly the only advise I can come up with would take a walk on the beach, hang out with friends, meditation, however that may be, and go talk to someone. Good luck!

Jewel41510's picture
Posts: 11
Joined: Mar 2009

Its refreshing to hear you speak of the love you feel for your wife, and the fight you feel for your marriage. I say continue to fight for what you feel, I believe with women intamicy is more on an emotional level so that might be a good starting ground. Think back to when you were at your happiest with her, recreate a date night, to add back what she may feel was lost in the cancer fight. Its so easy to loose pieces of yourself in this fight because we are so focused on getting to tomorrow, just make sure you slow down and take in today. I'm wishing you all the best.


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