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How did you do it the First time

Gloria C
Posts: 23
Joined: Jun 2009

that you had to sit down in that uncomfortable chemo chair for hours? I start next week and am so anxiety ridden I can't eat, sleep,have hives, etc.; it's over-whelming. How did you get the emotional strength to even go, much less sit down and follow through? Yes, I understand that it's the motivation to live, therefore, no choice.....but the emotional/whiney/baby part of me has come out. I'm terribly afraid that I will show up and be in hysterics (how horribly embarrassing!).

Posts: 296
Joined: Nov 2008

I cried the first time I sat in that chair. The unknown is very scary. Take a deep breath and know that it is not as bad as you're thinking.



Posts: 54
Joined: Jul 2009

I agree with Marge the unknown is so very scary! For my treatment I had to go into the hospital for 4 days every 28 days. It was so overwhelming to think about. My last round I was permitted to go to the clinic each day instead. The support of the other women and the nurses was amazing. I think you will find your strength from them doing exactly what you are going to be doing! (((Hugs for you))) I understand how you are feeling.


lindaprocopio's picture
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

I remember how afraid I was the 1st time I went for chemo. I am usually pretty brave and was surprised to find myself in tears as I walked through the door for my 1st chemo. But you'll see that when you find yourself in a roomful of people getting chemo together, and almost all of them are smiling and laughing as they share stories and catch up with each other, it all seems so NORMAL. I cried HARDER the 1st time I went for chemo, (my 4th round), and my blood work was too low for me to get my chemo. After the 1st round you will WANT your chemo, desparately.

Are you a naturally inquisitive curious person? I am, and all of the treatments are so INTERESTING that I often got caught up in the interesting new things I was learning and experiencing and that curiosity kept the fear at bay.

I am also very social in nature, and quickly made 'chemo buddies' that I looked forward to seeing again. You'll meet so many people that are going through things so much WORSE than you are, with a smile of their faces, and that is all so reasurring. The 1st chemo is scary. But once you have your 1st round in, you'll be prepared and most of that crushing anxiety will go away. There is tremendous comraderie and support in the chemo lounge. Total strangers will reach across the shared journey to help you be strong and optimistic. It's a 'support group' of a sort, and it was also wonderful therapy for my husband to have the hours during my chemo to talk with other caregivers. ((((BIG HUGS))))

Posts: 743
Joined: Oct 2008

I agree with the others. Chemo is very scary, but it is also NOT the horror stories you see on TV and in movies. The anticipation of the unknown is so much worse than the chemo actually is. I am praying for peace for you and for the Lord to ease your fears and carry your worry.
As Linda said, during your treatment you are going to meet people that you will wonder how they are doing when your chemo is over. You will be let down if you have to postpone a treatment. You are going to look forward to your treatment, as they make you feel like you are doing something to combat this monster called cancer. You will make friends with other chemo patients and the nurses caring for you. You will miss them and feel a little uneasy when the chemo treatments are finished.
Most importantly... I know you are scared, but you are strong and you CAN do this. You have to be brave and trust in the Lord to walk with you through this journey! Take a deep breath and say a prayer asking for peace so that you can eat healthy and sleep well.

Sending warm hugs and strength to you...

kkstef's picture
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2008

I agree with everything the others have posted. I was somewhat nervous about what the first chemo would be like, but I was anxious to get there and get going on the "treatment plan"...It was like one more thing to cross off my "to do" list. I felt like I was actually doing SOMETHING to get those cells killed and get on with my life.

I had a nice comfy recliner and the nurse's provided nice warm blankets! I could get up and walk around if I wanted, of course, pushing my pump around. There were snacks if I wanted something. The nurses watch you VERY closely, especially those first couple of time. I did find the pre-medications made me a bit "woozy" so I couldn't do much that required concentration. I did some crossword puzzles, read some, wrote in my journal, etc.

And YES, I learned how much more difficult the journey was for so many others that I was thankful I was me!

Picture all of us virtually standing there behind you during that first treatment and cheering for you! You CAN do it and it won't be nearly as scarey are you are imagining!


Posts: 126
Joined: Jul 2009

I have my first chemo Thurs and the closer it gets, the more fear I have and the realization that, yes it's true..I DO have cancer. Also sitting through 6 months of chemo with my husband last year and seeing his horrible side effects (different chemo and cancer), I feel I CAN DO THIS! This forum has given me so much support, caring, laughs and love that I am not sure how I would get through this experience without them. Thank you all!! kathy

Deblittleton's picture
Posts: 56
Joined: Feb 2009

You can do this. My husband came the first time with me. I stayed upbeat and positive because of him. So I didn't have much time to dwell on how I was feeling. It is especially nice to have someone close to you come with you on your first treatment. My prayers are with you.

Posts: 126
Joined: Jul 2009

Thank you, Deb. Like I said; the women on this board are phenomenal!

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