my mom is passing away...thank you for all your help and suppor

marc24
marc24 Member Posts: 92
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello,

As some of you have been familiar with me, I am a son of a strongwilled mom. Unfortunately as of today, she is passing away (she is in morphine drip to ease her passing). I will miss her dearly, I have cried rivers and I am out of emotions...she lost her battle due to her lack of oxygen as she has a serious breathing condition aside from the cancer...they were saying a clot in her lung. Again many thanks to everyone in here, and she is or will be in a better place...she has no pain right now compared to earlier. I will miss her so much.

One thing I want to point out is for any sons and daughters of any cancer patient here, please let us not wait till our parents are gravely ill to show affection and love...we should show it at all times, I tried my best, and I feel bad for her as she is only 62 with a lot of energy, she was only diagnosed 4 months ago, and I wasn't the closest son, but I am truly heart broken this. She is leaving me, my 2 older brothers and my stepdad, who just lost his mom last year...he has me though and I will put on 100 percent of my effort to take care of him. Please don't wait till the end to spend time with our moms and dads as we only get one set, I love you mom and I will make sure you don't waste the life u gave me as I will become the best person, best friend, best future husband, best future dad, and I will see you soon
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Comments

  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020
    Very sorry
    I'm very sorry about your mom,I will say a prayer for her.At least her pain,and suffering are almost over.I'm sure your mother is proud of you already.God bless
  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    Marc- I am so sorry. *hugs*
    Marc- I am so sorry. *hugs* And so proud of you. Thanks for letting us be there for you. I wish this would have a different outcome!
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 952
    I am sorry
    Marc,

    I am sorry to hear your mom is not doing well. My father passed away 11 years ago from lung cancer. At his diagnosis I withdrew from graduate school and spent as much time as I could with him. I am glad that I had the opportunity to spend those months with him in contemplation and story-telling. I learned a lot more about my father during that time than I had the years and years previous.

    My husband actually proposed to me on October 3 and the next morning my father went into the hospital for the last time. He passed away on October 4. I have been grateful that I had the chance to tell my dad that his "little girl" (youngest of 7) would be taken care of. When he actually passed I was holding his hand.

    I am sure your mom knows how deeply you love her and can feel your love and spirit with her. Keep in mind that you have always been the best person you could be in your mom's eyes and now you will carry her with you forever.
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942
    So sorry to hear this
    Marc, I'm so very sorry to hear this but am so thankful for your words of wisdom. Make a copy of what you've said and keep it someplace where you'll come across it once in a while as a reminder of how short life really is.

    God Bless you and your family,
    Diane
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478
    The Gates
    of Heaven will open their arms for your mother and will except this new Angel. Take it from a mother (my son is 26 yrs old), we know that our sons and daughters love us even though they don't always say it or show it.

    Our children are live baby birds. We feed you, take care of you, teach you the ways of the world and then push out of the home for you to spread your wings and fly on your own. Knowing that if needed, you will return :)

    I believe there is a reason for everything and sometimes it does not make sense or it is not fair, but one day the reason will be known.
  • marc24
    marc24 Member Posts: 92

    So sorry to hear this
    Marc, I'm so very sorry to hear this but am so thankful for your words of wisdom. Make a copy of what you've said and keep it someplace where you'll come across it once in a while as a reminder of how short life really is.

    God Bless you and your family,
    Diane

    thank you so far
    Its hard for me to accept this reality as I sit here waiting for her, but she is the type of person that has an effect on everyone...her name is aliw, this translates to "joy" in my native language, tagalog. It truly embodies her attitude on life, I am just baffled as to how fast it happened...i just wanted to say I will continue to go into this forum as I am also hoping for the best for each and everyone of u...and for those "newly admitted" forum people, I wish u all the luck but remember one thing, our current world is pleasant but sometimes cruel....the world my mom is going to is perect so in the end, she will be in a better place. Keep this in mind as I have this in mind to keep my sanity. We will all meet eventually
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Very wise words, sweet soul....
    And oh, so true! The biggest regret I have with the passing of my daughter was that I didn't get to say 'goodbye' and 'I love you' one last time....

    My cancer journey has taught me the same as you...don't leave things unsaid, try to be kind to everyone you meet, and live each day as if its your last...I was a healthy 49 year old when I was diagnosed.

    I am sending my deepest sympathies to you and to your family...but remember, as I always say to myself...she is not leaving, merely moving, from in front of your eyes, into your heart, where she will live on forever.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • betina61
    betina61 Member Posts: 642
    So sorry Mark
    You brought tears to my eyes, what a beautiful message you wrote,may God give you the Serenity to accept this sad reality,I will pray for you and your family.
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    Marc
    Marc,

    I am so sorry for what Mom, you and your family are going through. It is a heart wrenching process.

    I am still in that process, as my dad just passed away on Saturday. Dad also declined very quickly. Diagnosed just 4 months ago. He made the bravest decision I have ever encountered, to not seek treatment. He would have had to go thru 2 surgeries and 1 "procedure" just to get to the point where they could start chemo. I know he wouldn't have made it to even that point. He made the brave, courageous choice. The hardest of his 83 years of life.

    I am praying for Mom, you and your family. You sound like wonderful, caring son.

    I second Marc's message about expressing your love to everyone you know as if you may never see them again.

    Hugs,

    Barb
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    I'm sorry Marc
    Your comments ring true. It is often the case that it that we don't what we have 'till it's gone...
    -p
  • Julie 44
    Julie 44 Member Posts: 476
    Hang in there
    Marc,
    I am so very sorry about your Mom...Please know you and your family are in my prayers...I totally understand what you are saying about spending time with your loved ones..Life gets in the way alot and it becomes a big hassel sometimes but WE must do it because like you said you don't want to wait till its to late..We should enjoy them while times are good...I know my own mother enjoys our company even though she only lives up the street and I talk on the phone to her all the time..She still says there is nothing like a visit.....
    God Bless and remember your Mom will always be with you in your heart and soul forever.......JULIE
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    So Very Sorry, Marc
    Mark

    I'm so saddened to read your post about your Mother. You seem to have found some sense of peace at this time, but I know it cannot be easy to sit and watch this go by.

    From what I've read, you have gone above and beyond and would be a son that any parent would be glad to have call their own. You've done all that you could to try and help your Mom. These are things that can be hard to understand, why this and why that.

    Thank you for all of your posts and you've helped enlighten all of us out on the board with your experience.

    All my best to you during your time of need
    -Craig
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165
    Sundanceh said:

    So Very Sorry, Marc
    Mark

    I'm so saddened to read your post about your Mother. You seem to have found some sense of peace at this time, but I know it cannot be easy to sit and watch this go by.

    From what I've read, you have gone above and beyond and would be a son that any parent would be glad to have call their own. You've done all that you could to try and help your Mom. These are things that can be hard to understand, why this and why that.

    Thank you for all of your posts and you've helped enlighten all of us out on the board with your experience.

    All my best to you during your time of need
    -Craig

    Marc
    I am so sorry

    michelle
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    May she rest in peace
    I am new to this board but am inspired by the kindness and compassion of the people on the board. I am sorry to hear about your mom. From what I have read, you have taken excellent care of her and shown her love and dedication. That must be the biggest comfort to her. May your pain be eased in return.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    God bless
    Marc,

    I almost feel like I know you from all of your postings. God bless you and your family with your mom's passing. I'm sorry to hear this- truly. I feel like a little piece of me breaks off each time I hear of someone with my same cancer type who's died from it. But then I know I go on and vow to fight even harder.
    God bless you- I'll keep you in my prayers.

    Hugs,
    Lisa
  • kristasplace
    kristasplace Member Posts: 955
    My deepest sympathies
    You have been a wonderful, strong advocate for your Mother, and she was very fortunate to have you. So many people have to go this journey alone, and i can't imagine anything worse than that. I'm glad to hear that you will continue with this board. Like Michelle, and many others who have lost a loved one to this disease, you understand what this illness can do.

    My heart and thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

    Hugs,
    Krista
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    I am so sorry. she sounds
    I am so sorry. she sounds like such a wonderful person. She`s lucky to have such a great person to carry on her legacy.

    Eric
  • KarenS49
    KarenS49 Member Posts: 19
    eric38 said:

    I am so sorry. she sounds
    I am so sorry. she sounds like such a wonderful person. She`s lucky to have such a great person to carry on her legacy.

    Eric

    Marc, I'm so sorry. I've
    Marc, I'm so sorry. I've been following your story and my heart just breaks for you. You have been such a loving son to her and I'm absolutely sure she knows just how much she means to you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    Karen
  • krystle singer
    krystle singer Member Posts: 108
    Loss
    Dear Marc,
    I am so very sorry about your mom. I've lost both parents, but then I am much older than you. My father died of cancer many years ago, but I remember the agony of watching the disease progress. You are in my prayers as is your mother. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. The last words I said to my dad were, "I love you." He knew. You are so right, don't wait to show love.

    Love, hugs and prayers,
    Sandi
  • butterfly23
    butterfly23 Member Posts: 256
    I'm Sorry.
    Hi Mark,

    I am so sorry to hear your mom is not doing well, You are so right about letting people know how you feel about them before it is too late. Life is precious. Sometimes you hear certain expressions through out your life, "live today as if it is your last day" but how true it is! God bless you, your family and your Mom!
    Love and Hugs!
    Karyn