CSN Login
Members Online: 0

You are here

I am losing hope....... please help me if you can

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi Everybody,
You all know I have been planning to go to MD Anderson Cancer Center for a while now. Well, I am here. Went today for some testing and met with a few doctors. The end result was not good. They told me no surgery on liver or lungs...EVER. My cancer is in bloodstream and they need to kill it (control it)in all 3 places NOW with chemo. They said that will always be my battle. I will never be cured...duh.... and they said even if they did surgery it would more than likely always come back so why bother. I am crushed. This was my big hope. I don't know what to do now. Where do you go when you are suppose to be at one of the best hospitals in the us??? I am so bummed. They said friday... after more test results came back.... they would discuss how much time I had..... even though those averages usually aren't right. What???? The only trials they have is for those that chemo is not working and with only 1 organ involvement. I am so screwed.... Oh my God...What the heck am I gonna do.....????

Jennie

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6691
Joined: Feb 2009

I just don't know what to say. I know you are crushed but please don't give up hope. You just need to follow their protocol and keep fighting. I know that it is easier said than done and I feel for you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I continue to believe that you need to fight.

Kim

Julie 44
Posts: 479
Joined: Oct 2008

Jennie,
I am so very sorry to hear your news...Have you gone for a second opinion??? I think you should because you never know what another hospital and other doctors might know....You have nothing to loose but your time right???
Talk to your family and friends and your clergy (whoever understands what is happening with you) just to let somethings go from your head because I know your head is spinning..Talk about your feelings with them it does releive some ...
Keep posting it feels good to know that you have many people who can share their lives with you too..
I wish you the best and NEVER give into the monster!!! Keep fighting

Julie

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Do not lose the faith and hope, there is always that! doctors are human, and I don't believe anyone can give you a timeline on when...Just keep going for more opinions, find someone who wants to TRY, I hate hearing this news for you, and believe to just keep living enjoying what you're doing, it's hard to always be happy, but it's a boost for the immune system..laughter also, please just think positive thoughts, I will be sending my prayers and thoughts for you, and believe ALOT of people have been in the same position as you, and are still living for a long time!

Hugssss~
~Donna

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Julie....that was my second opinion. The first one I got from my hometown onc. They both agreed about the surgery. I was hoping MDA would see it different and cut the crap out. NO DEAL! Donna, they said they would give me a time line on how long they thought the chemo would continue to work for me. They seemed grim. I was just sooooooooooooooo excited about coming here.... I was so sure this was the answers to my prayers.... NOT....... oh well...what happens...happens

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...Probably would have gone to Sloan-Kettering or Vanderbilt too...you never know, there are doctors who will try more for a patient, I thought you were wanting a time on how you had to live LOL...But no one really knows that, and I would hate for people to be focused on that, where it's all they were thinking about...you sound like you're doing great, the mind is very powerful over how the body heals as well, so just KNOW that you going to get through this, you believe in miracles, you believe you can do this! be positive, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

Hugssss!
~Donna

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

I was told I wasn't a surgical candidate. All the doctors agreed I would need a miraculous response to chemo. Well I had a semi-miraculous response and I'm now 5 surgeries into what feels like a lifetime of them. If the chemo works you will be able to reevaluate your treatment. They've reevaluated mine half a dozen times. Plus, there are half a dozen new things coming down the line that are very promising. All the Dr needs to do is keep you alive until the next best thing comes along. Cheer up, take your treatment and live the wy you want. You'll be surprised at how strong you can be.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

He is shooting you straight.....You might try and speak with Vanderbilt about your situation...You have nothing to lose...Go to the Vanderbilt-Ingram website and find the Drs there and there is a lot in there that will give you hope ..there are also clinical trials and such...Just take amcp's story about her husband and they had no hope , now its sounds as if hes gonna be ok.....Im gonna give you the number to Dr Alan Herlines office...He is the Biomedical engineer and colorectal specialist there at Vandy...It won't hurt anything to call them...You will probably speak with a lady or ask for her. Her name is Diane...she is a wonderful person...1-615-343-4612.....Good Luck Hun.......

AnneS
Posts: 27
Joined: Apr 2009

Shayenne, I so agree with you. A Dr willing to TRY!!!
Anne

shoppergal
Posts: 118
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this, but I don't believe in statistics. Thru symposiums that I have been to, I have met many people who should not be here today and they are. I met someone who was only 26 yrs old when she was diagnosed, and was told she only had 6 months to live. Well after many surgeries and much chemo, she is still here, and she is NED for over 5 yrs now.She just recantly got married and is living life to the fullest.

Alot of this is all trial and error and a guessing game.Faith is a wonderful thing, and miracles do happen. Chemo can do strange things and it's possible that it can keep you going for years yet, and you never know what else is in the works as far as trials.Having cancer makes ua all fighters, you just have to keep fighting!

You're in my prayers.
Wendy

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

....Someone on the Colon Club about a man who is still here living with colon cancer for 30 years!!!! that's the longest I heard it, I wish I could find that post, but miracles do happen, and think positively, no one can stamp a date when any of us are going...I could be murdered, run over by a truck, shot at a drive-by, heart attack---this disease may not be the things that kills anyone, I don't believe in statistics either. Other things in life happen to everyone, I just won't let this disease be the end of me, I'd rather die trying to have sex finally after not having it for awhile, now that would suck, wouldn't it? Or even a stroke while cbanging my colostomy bag!!! now that would be scary too for the one who finds thst scene lol...

Stay off the internet, surprises are one of them~I almost died from a perforated colon a couple months ago, and I'm here, the colostomy saved me life :)

But always keep the hope, and take it one day at a time :)

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

Jennie,

CRUD! I really HATE bad news.

What everyone else said. Me too. You can do this. Chemo is still working, right? That's great news! ASCO just came out with their new trial results and there are a couple VERY interesting drugs in the pipeline for stage IV's.

Don't let them give you a prognosis. They will be wrong. Like I told my liver surgeon, "You might know what you're talking about, but you don't know WHO you are talking about!" That was in January and I've already proven him wrong. I LOVE it! The genetic oncologist is now doing more testing so they can figure out why my current chemo (I'm on a drug for anal canzer) is working and standard treatments didn't. They want to start a clinical study based on my case.

"Where do you go when you are suppose to be at one of the best hospitals in the us???" You go somewhere else. You keep looking. And hoping.

Remember - go for 5 years. In 5 years the new drugs currently in the pipeline will get you 5 more and 10 will get you 20 every time!!

I sent a PM

Kimby

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I know this is a blow. But take what Kimby says (Like I told my liver surgeon, "You might know what you're talking about, but you don't know WHO you are talking about!") and adopt it! Your attitude is prime right now. You CAN do this. The chemo will give you options. The doctors are just doing their job, but you are NOT a statistic.

Hang in there sweetie. We have your back. Grab onto Buzzard's rope and we will pull you through.

Many {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} Vicki

serrana
Posts: 163
Joined: Apr 2009

Jennie
There are many of us who have metastatic cancer, which is the onc word for "in our bloodstream" cancer, and yes chemo is the plan the docs recommend now to keep it under control. That doesn't mean you are going to die, now, soon or ever,of the cancer.Please don't think about those out of date statistics. There are many folks who have "it" in their bloodstream who are still alive 5 and 10 years later and some who don't even have any evidence of disease after being sent home to die. Please don't look on this as a death sentence. It is disappointing not to be able to whack it out surgically and know it is gone but actually cancer cells are in many bodies and not even known about. At least you know you have them and can do whatever you can to keep them under control...it is called "living with cancer" Check out the book, film, and website by Kris Carr...."crazy sexy cancer tips" She is the poster child for someone living with metestatic disease. These days we don't see it as an all or nothing situation but living with it is a common scenario. Don't give up. Consider the chemo, read the posts about juicing, read the book Life Over Cancer, Patrick Quinilan's book, Larry Dossey's book...........most of all FIGHT. We're doing it, you can too. We're in this together and we're rooting for you.

chicoturner's picture
chicoturner
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi Jennie, I am sorry to hear about your latest info set back, but want you to know you can still do just fine! I am stage 4, colon cancer with mets to both lungs. I have not had any tumors on my liver, but did have it on my ovaries. Prior to my resection and complete hystr. the scans and tests showed it on my lungs. I completed 12 rounds of treatment, with folfox - 5 fu and the tumors went away quite quickly. My dr. said I should take a break as the treatment was pretty hard for me. During the 3 months with no treatment the tumors came back on both lungs. I was crushed. My dr. said he should have realized it was not going to "go away", but was in my whole system and could resurface at anytime. I began treatment with Avastin and irianotecan (sorry about the spelling) I have been on it since Jan. and once again the tumors are reducing. I have basically no side affects from these meds. I have infusion every other week. My dr. says our goal is to hold it back! I can do this and so can you! So what we get treatment for years, we are living those years. I don't care what they call my survival as long as I can still live my life! Stay tough- we can do it! let me know if you want to talk. Jean

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

get other opinions,try the chemo,see what happens then.Miricles happen every day.Alot of us are still here,and still fighting.Hang on,fight back,and don't EVER give up,don't let the cancer win.I'll be praying for you. pat

dixchi's picture
dixchi
Posts: 438
Joined: Jun 2008

John and Buzzard, I love you........both of you are such
inspirations and always say the right things at the right
time. I would guess that even at M.D. Anderson they have
doctors who aren't great at the simple thing of communication.....
and can surprise themselves that their prognosis was not
right.....so don't give up.....get on chemo and see how
it goes just like John said.....one of the big challenges
is keeping yourself motivated and positive......do everything
you can to keep your spirits up.....try meditation, prayer,
yoga, tai chi, find a support group, work on goals for yourself
such as improving your diet and don't forget to exercise....
there are exercises that you can do even when you don't feel
like doing anything but sitting in a chair or lying in bed.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Huggs,
Barbara

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Hi Jennie,

We are all pulling for you! Please feel our support and prayers. Hang in there.

There is one call you must make today. Call back your power. Nothing is more important than your belief you can beat this. Stay strong and fight.

Your Survivors Network friends are with you in spirit.

amcp
Posts: 251
Joined: Jan 2009

Jennie
So sorry to hear about what MD Anderson said. Do NOT give up there is always hope!!!! Get another opinion like others suggested at Vanderbilt or Sloan Kettering. Or do the chemo...after it shrinks the tumors thing will change...you could become a candidate for surgery. I think all cancer is in the bloodstream when it has mets to other organs. Just think positive...I am here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. They are not sure that Frank's cancer won't come back but buying time is the important thing. Buy time until something new comes available..each day is precious and we are only given today. We have seen the change after chemo...so remember there is HOPE. Never give up...continue to fight..something that might help could just be around the corner. Chemo can change ...shrink...or even get rid of tumors. REMEMBER ALWAYS HOPE.
Sending you prayers,
Hugs,
Anna

lmliess's picture
lmliess
Posts: 331
Joined: Dec 2008

You are at a critcl time where you HAVE to stay positive and think this cancer just messed with the wrong person. Research ALL you options. Start with a lifestyle/diet change...reduce stress, look for your positives everyday, laugh and just realize you am too strong for this. Meditate, do yoga, anything to calm your mind. If you get down (and you will) for too long your immune system will lower. You need it to work WITH the chemo to fight this off.
I went to MD Anderson and I loved them but everyone is different. Get another opinion.
If you get down too long think about an antidepressant to get you through. You have to keep your fighting spirit up.

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

Dont give up hope, those doctors dont know when its your time, only your higher power does. Have faith in that. I will pray for you if you dont mind. I feel your pain and hate that you are suffering so much, you are not alone here we are all here for you. Please let us know if we can do anything for you.

God Bless you
Beth

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

You are in my prayers don't give up I know exactly How it is to get bad news It rips your guts out You are not alone

michelle

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Ditto on what every one is saying here and do try juicing and fruits and veggies. Sometimes it's tough changing one's diet but really, it's more of a life style change. My days are now flled with fresh food. Yesterday, I sat on a bench under my apricot tree and ate 5 of them. My bother dropped off fresh corn still in the husk, my broher in law dropped off sweet potatoes, and my sister brought me cherries right off her tree. This is how they are taking care of me. We live in the San Joaquin Valley and fruts and veggies are in abundance. I have 6 varieties of grapes growing on my porgela, I have a peach orange and lemon tree. I am growing cucumbers, squash, tomoatoes, watermelon, and cantelopue. I just pick what I want from the baskets that are in my kitchen. They have become my source of food, until I broil some chicken or fish. I eat little meals/snacks of fruit thoughout the day instead of set meals. My nausea was bad this last chemo, but I kept nibbling on fruit, I was okay. I did buy a juicer and the juices are great.

I have heard facts and myths about sugar and white flour; so hey, I stay away from sweets to include soda. I drink juice if I have to have something other then water. I don't really drink alchohol, do an ccasaional glass of wine but not during chemo. I was never a bread eater, so I can say no to those bisuits at Red Lobster. I eat lots of greens, kale, spinach, collard and mustard greens, just saute in some garlic, onion and olive oil, add some chicken broth, simmer (I had a couple of banana peppers and some of the juice, it takes some of the bitteress away). If you like you can add chicken or turkey sausage links. I usually put some in for hubby, he eats it all over cornbread. I serve Northern beans on the side for me. I do make provolone quesidillas when I want the flour taste but with corn tortillas. I triangle cut some corn tortillas, throw then in the oven to get crisp, throw then in a skillet with a bit of olive oil, toss in some beat up eggs over the torillas, let it cook by turn it over a couple times, throw some green enchilada sauce over the dish, close lid... add cheese if you like, if I use any, I use a bit of provolone, some like colby jack. Wholla, great breakfast.

Just some suggestions, I'm just trying the healthy way. I have nothing to lose and but possbily all to gain! Maybe another option for you.

BYW: If you have to buy the fruit and veggie, I would buy organic if possible, only buy what you can consume in a couple days, set it out so you can see it, as you know the old saying, out of sight, out of mind.

Blessings.

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Jennie,

What a blow- I'm so sorry! I'm sure you were excitedly looking forward to getting answers at MD Anderson and then were sadly disappointed in what they did/didn't tell you.
You've gotten some great advice from the people who posted above. I want to echo their words-DO NOT GIVE UP and KNOW THAT THERE IS STILL HOPE! I hate it when I hear people have had doctors give them their prognosis of "how long they still have". I, for one, NEVER want to hear a doctor tell me that & I will let them know that up front! They may think they're accurate in that but, like others have already said, they don't know who you are AND there is NO WAY for them to know anything FOR SURE!! If I were you, I'd give myself no more than another day to deal with the emotional blow & I'd stand up and fight again- seek out another opinion or two from some of the recommended places- perhaps Vanderbilt or Sloan Kettering or anywhere else where someone might still give you a chance of doing surgery. Like John said, many people who initially are considered inoperable CAN become a surgical candidate with a good response to chemo. I was in that position upon my diagnosis. I had too many widespread tumors to be considered for surgery, but I had a great response to the chemo (MUCH better than they ever thought possible!), and did end up having liver surgery after all. I'm still here & am doing okay (not NED, but managing things well!!) Another option other than surgery to look into would be RFA or various types of the latest in technology radiation- cyberknife, stereotactical radiation, or tomotherapy. Those three are similar to each other but slightly different. Google them. Many surgeons won't consider the surgery if you still have other tumors elsewhere in your body. I found one who would at UCSD- he did my liver resection when I still had a few small nodules in my lungs. Also, for RFA and the other types of exact radiation, it doesn't matter how many others you have. They'd probably work on the largest ones or most dangerous ones first. Seek out a radiation oncologist to get an evaluation for that. A surgeon usually wouldn't be the one to recommend it- for them, it's "surgery or nothing".

Look up and blessings to you- I'm thinking of and praying for your spirit to become more relaxed and positive and HOPEFUL today!
Lisa

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Jennie,
I read your post just now. I am so sorry you have got this news. My husband was told surgery wasn't an option either. He seems to be doing well (if there is such a thing) on Chemo. Not as many side effects as some folks.
I agree with John and all of the other comments. After Chemo who know's what that will do to the cancer.Don't give up hope. We are all pulling for you. Paula G.

nudgie's picture
nudgie
Posts: 1482
Joined: Sep 2006

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

You have all certainly given me something to think about. I know that no matter what I do this beast will still be here tomorrow. I am going to start chemo Monday (Folfax) here at MDA for 2 weeks. I will then fly home for 2 weeks. During that time at home I am going to revisit my onc. there and see what he has to say about MDA. I will return to MDA for the following 2 week round and when I leave that time I am heading elsewhere for a third opinion.

The docs here at MDA say RFA is out cause there more than likely is more than the 1 nodule on my liver even tho only 1 lights up so that would be futile since the others would be popping up in the future. Same with the surgery...they say 9 times out of ten there is always more when they actually get in there... so what??? cant they just cut t hem out too? They say..why... just so they can come back...we cant keep cutting on you. this is why they say my surgery is no use. They also said something to me that REALLY made no sense. After they get my CT scans back from today they can tell me up front just by that if I (or anyone else for that matter) would be a surgery candidate. They say they deal in the realities and not the "what ifs"

How do I know the people here are not wrong?..... maybe I am NOT a surgery candidate...ever? How do i know that? I just dont know who to listen to and that is where all this confusion is coming in. The one thing I do know for sure.... I NEED CHEMO NOW!..... that is why I want it started now..... they can continue your treatment anywhere...right???? If I decide to go elsewhere I need to know that.

Anyway... thank you all for your comments and strength..... It has helped me a lot

Jennie

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Jennie,

I'm really shocked at what they told you at MD And. about being able to tell up front who's a surgery candidate and that RFA "is out because more will just keep popping up in the liver".
I don't get it- I know of other people on this board who have had surgeries more than once and RFA more than once. Yes, their doctors think more may keep popping up, but they just keep fighting what pops up! Also, like I said, I was told I wasn't a surgical candidate and then after 10 rounds of Folfox chemo, I DID become a surgical candidate. I have heard of a few others who had the same situation. To deal with "reality, not the what-ifs" doesn't make sense to me either. If my doctors had this attitude, I probably wouldn't be here right now, but I AM here and will expect my doctors to keep fighting. If they ever give up on me, I will keep searching until I find someone who will NOT give up on me.

I'm glad you're getting another opinion & I'm going to pray that you will have a great response to the chemo and that you'll surprise and amaze those doctors!!!

Hang in there and keep at it!!

Hugs,
Lisa

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

I was sitting in my hot tub when I called Vanderbilt and Diane answered on the second ring....I told her that I needed help bad...I told her that I had 4 children ages 4-5-13-22 and I have to stay alive so my children will ever have a chance at anything...I told her that if I stay in this town I will die and I know it, can you help me please...

This was the extent of our conversation, she asked me if I had been diagnosed and I said yes so she told me that I would have an appointment there for a second opinion in less than a week. I told her I didn't want a second opinion, I wanted the best Dr in the world and Dr Herline to me was it.....This was on a Friday.....Monday I was sitting in his office discussing options on radiation and chemo and then surgery after chemo/rad...
Jennie.....through all the tears and bad thoughts you have about all this , there is nothing you can change about what is happening , there is something you can do to fight it. You have to get through the sorrow and depression of it, then you need to get mad at it, I mean really pissed at it....I kicked a trashcan clear across my yard one day, the next day everything started looking up....You wanna know why ?........

*****Because I took back control of my life*****.......as you need to also...

We love ya girl, now lower your head and go after it full bore....don't give it nothing and kick its tail starting now........!!!!!!!!!!!

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Lisa and Buzzard..... where did you go for your cancer treatments?

Jennie

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

We call that Hillbilly Stew around these parts!

jenalynet's picture
jenalynet
Posts: 363
Joined: Nov 2005

I am Stage 4 and full of this cancer crap..I am on chemo to control it and have a good quality of life. I am doing great and planning a 4 week trip in July to drive to PA to see my new grandson who was born just today. I try to keep a good outlook and I plan on being around for a while because I have things yet to complete in my life. I felt lost everytime I had a recurrence but I have a good team of doctors and the posts on this site that helped me deal with it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...Just keep up the fight..Hugs to you, Audrey.

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

Please don't take this as a personal attack. I would like to know if you are truly listening to your doctors or are you only tuning into the negative. I ask this because I think perhaps you are putting a negative spin on what they are saying instead of a positive one. It's difficult to understand why they would rule out RFA simply because it will come back or they might not get it all. You need to speak directly with an interventional radiologist. They will be more than happy to spear you once a month if you want them to. I would understand if they didn't agree to do RFA until after chemo. I do think it is important for you to get on chemo as soon as possible. An RFA procedure would delay your treatment for several weeks. But once you get 5-6 treatments under your belt then any interventional radiologist worth his salt will get you in and out in just a few days. As for the comment, "we just can't keep cutting on you". BS! Well sort of. You will need to limit the mount of work done on your lungs. You will need at least one whole lung to function properly but the liver grows back. I've had 2 resections (70% and 50%) within 6 months of each other. Both of those were performed with a midline incision. My surgeon says he will be comfortable performing at least 2 more midline incision resections before he moves to the conventional incision below the rib. He said I could have 2 or 3 of those. Then he would move to my back and do it backward a few times. That's 9 resections if I need it. Not to mention 2 RFA's I've already had. If the tumors are in the right places you could conceivably get RFA every 45 days. I think you need to develop a game plan. I personally would start by selecting a competent surgeon. Once you pick your surgeon, ask he or she to pick the oncologist they have the best relationship with. Then ask the surgeon to recommend a good interventional radiologist. You may never have surgery but your intent should always be moving in that direction. You decide how you are going to approach this not the oncologist. The only thing you need the oncologist for is to administer the chemo and make sure you're healthy enough for chemo. I like my oncologist but he doesn't control my treatment. I do.
You have to understand that this is a four headed dragon you're fighting. The disease is one head, the doctors, the government and the insurance companies are the others . Any four of these can be just as deadly as the disease. You have to keep your wits about you. Just hearing the negative will severely handicap you. You have to keep your ears, eyes, and mind open, see all the angles and be vigilant.

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Snommintj,

No....I definately do not take it as a personal attack. Everyone here should say what is on their minds. You asked if I was putting a negative spin on things instead of a positive.....yes... I guess that is because that is how they presented it to me.... in a negative way... they gave me nothing to work with other than the fact that chemo would be my only recourse.... and then told me on Friday they would give me an estimate of how long I could expect chemo to stay working for me. I dont even want to know that. They said since my last CT scan they are sure my tumors have grown (because i have not had any treatment yet)and to be prepared for that on Friday as well. No surgery...ever... so hummmm.... positive? ... not exactly what I was feeling. Every time I looked for a bright side... there wasn't one. I lack the knowledge that a lot of you have on this subject. I think "man, surely these doctors know wht they are talking about... they are specialists!" Then why dont I FEEL it? Since I have mets to lungs and liver.... they won't do surgery....ever.... even if they use RFA to the 1 in my liver... leaving nothing there.... leaving on 1 organ with mets.... no still no surgery... dont get it. Right now i am going to go thru the chemo and see what happens with that. I sure do appreciate all your words.

Jennie

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Jennie....To answer your question I had surgery at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville Tennessee....

and John.....Buzzard stew is considered a 5 Star meal here in Ky....:)

Subscribe to Comments for "I am losing hope....... please help me if you can"