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Scared and worried how to handle this alone ??

Posts: 23
Joined: Jun 2009

Well to make this short , i had a heart atttack in march , made it through ok , am 46 single no kids never married non smoker non drinker , during surgery they found i had enlarged lymnoides in my abdomen and chest that was in march had to wait till heart was strong again to follow up , on my nirthday in may had a pet /ct scan lympnodes still in chest largest about an inch ,. had bone marrow biopsy nothing found so now am facing surgery to go in and biopsy lympnodes in chest , on top of that have weakness and pain in left arm and now have two areas on left arm and right leg that i have too see a dermatologist for they suspect lymphoma of the skin so what am i in for i write about this am just lost seems like with this tired of waiting in between Dr,s appointments 2 weeks , so if i can get a heads up on this thing never been sick my whole life always worked why now ??? this is really messing with me feels like i am in this alone am seeking help advice a good ear to listen to me something anything fatigue , night sweats also temp spikes all of the above drives me crazy pains in chest where lympnodes are Dr tells me its not my heart ????

Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2009

Tim, Wow how selfish am I. I did not even realize that you were the next post. You are not alone!!! You will realize who your true friends are during this but you are not alone. My family is very close but that does not mean that during something like this we all don't feel alone and helpless. My Sister and Mom are calling me to keep me up on what is going on with Dad but I still feel like a pest and every time I call I don't even get to talk to him. I am starting to think that this disease isolates the people involved because there is so much to process. If you have any friends in florida reach out to them if they are your friend they will be there to listen to you and help prop you up when you need it. And there is this site everyone here I think has the same hopes and fears.

Also it sounds as if you have questions about your diagnosis. ASK Questions!!! Lots of them .... If you don't feel sure about what they are saying and your guts tells you something else get another opinion. YOU know your body. Doctors are human too. This is about you! YOu need to be selfish now and be your own advocate. Hang in there and you are not alone. K.

winthefight's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Dec 2007

Hi Tim,

I've had alot of the same symptoms. In speaking with other lymphoma survivors, these symptons are similar side effects of the disease....even the pain in the chest. I had night sweats, inability to sleep, chest pains, difficulty breathing, exessive fatigue, fever, and more. But, since you have had a heart attack before, I can understand your great concern.

I agree with the other survivor, ask many questions. It may be helpful to write down questions as you think of them. Present the questions to your doctor. Write down the doctor's responses. If your dr speaks to fast or says something confusing. Ask him/her to explain. Now is not the time to be ashamed nor embarrased about what we do not understand.
The ACS has a list of suggested questions on their website.

If you have medical concerns about your symptons, please call your Oncologist. Let him/her tell you what to do. One, they will help you. Two, your symptons will be documented as a step and notation for your treatment.

When dr explanations did not make sense to me, I asked my dr to draw it for me. Drawings worked for me when words just left me in daze. You can also ask your dr if you can bring in a recorder. Going through this journey has our minds spinning 100 miles an hour, so we have to use whatever tools we can to help us with this fight.

If you have family and/or friends to help, please, please let them help you. If you do not have the support, don't be afraid. You can do this alone. I did it all.

Do what you can when you feel up to it. I used to clean my house, and cook multiple meals before my chemo treatments. I purchased all that i would need prior to treatments such as beverages, snacks, ect. That way, when I returned from treatment all I needed to do was microwave and rest.

Get some prayer warriors to pray for you. Get on prayer lists. Even if you have a strong prayer life, there may be times when you just can not. Having strong praying people to pray for you is very important.

Contact the leukemia lymphoma society and the ACS (American Cancer Society) for resources. They are very good about sending information very quickly.

I would never advise anyone with accessible individuals to do it alone. But, if you absolutely have no one, don't panic. You can get through it. You will win the fight.

Be blessed.

Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi, Tim -

My dx of Stage 3B follicular NHL on 05-01-08 was a complete shock. I had no idea. Cancer never, ever crossed my mind. It is a scary experience, but you can do it. I had the severe night sweats, fatigue, and itchy skin. I just thought it was hormonal. I was 41 at dx.

The waiting for results is torture. If you have a hobby, try that to forget about all the upcoming appointments and tests. I found walking (even at a turtle's pace) to be a stress relief.

Ask your onc as many questions as you have (I went to my first onc visit with a huge list of questions). I am sure he was totally excited, but he answered each and every one.

I will thinking of you and praying. Be assured that you are not alone. Everyone here can relate to your concerns.

Best wishes and God bless,


Posts: 23
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks for the advice i went to surgeon today to schedule surgery they were the best he was and his nurses , i was shaking so bad whem they were weighing me she had to calm me down and tell me it was ok i was shocked at my weight loss mainly last week at Dr i weighed 202 today 192, it almost knocked me down but i made it thrtough scheduled my biopsy for july 8th so am going to try and stay positive and learn to pray i told dr i did not want to do the surgery out patient since i had just had heart attack so he agreed at least 3 days in hospital thanks all Tim in north fla

Posts: 12
Joined: Mar 2008

Please know that you are not alone. People are praying for you, some you will know that are and others will pray that you have never even met. The only people that can truely understand what you are going through are those who have been through it. I was there every step of the way with my husband and his treatment, but still I can't understand it like those who have actually been through the treatment. Keep a positive attitude when at all possible, and forgive yourself when you have a moments of weakness. We are all scared, but that doesn't mean we aren't strong. I send prayers of good health and healing.

Posts: 23
Joined: Jun 2009

have alot of patience some times but having to wait is hard i have to stay off some medication for a bit before surgery so i have to deal with that am learning to pray a lot and listen to god more .

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