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My dad was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and I'm afraid and clueless on how to help! can someone please help me.

Posts: 2
Joined: May 2009

Hi my name is Richard Bell and my dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer.
I have to be honest, it scared the hell out of me.
I'm an American disabled veteran rated at 100%.
I've fought, I've jumped from planes, and I've shot the biggest weapons you can possibly shoot,
but never have I've been so afraid in my life.
My dad is super man, he's a great man.
he was a single father for years of 4 kids.
3 boys and 1 girl. My father made me who I am and I don't know what I would do without him.
God like I said I'm so afraid.
I never pictured him being hurt or sick.
To be Honest I don't know what to do right now.
I haven't been home since 2007 and I'm sort of afraid to go and see him in his current state.
I'm also looking for a way to find help for him.
I have no idea where to start.
He's currently having treatments done but he's paying so much money outta pocket to cover his hotel and everything.
Can someone please give me some advice or something so i can better help him.
By the way, I've been in life ending experiences and made it out alive, I fought for freedom and my family.
I want you to know that everyone that's going through this same situation are really strong and I admire you and my dad because I don't know if i would have half the strength you guys have.

Posts: 241
Joined: May 2007

Take a deep breath, don't get overwhelmed. Be strong for your Dad, just the way I am sure he's been strong for you. Not sure what type of treatments he has had, but if he is being treated, then I have to believe he's been to a urologist and his doctor ie leading him in the right direction. Could you elaborate on the treatments and what his doctor's plan is for him? Also once you know that, you can then ask questions that directly relate to your Dad's situation. For instance, can my Dad have surgery to cure the cancer? What surgery or treatment is best for his situation? On the insurance front, find Doctors who are in network, so the expenses can be covered. That's very important, because the only thing you and your Dad should have to worry about is getting him the best care and getting him better. Not agonizing over medical bills. Make sure the treatment he gets is authorized by his insurance and have them specifically tell you what is and is not covered..

I could tell you first hand when I had my surgery, I chose a very good Doctor who was authorized by my insurance, however, I didn't realize that they where only going to pay $2k of it after the fact. I ended up paying the Doctor $16K out of my own pocket and received no more from my insurance company. They did pay the $30k hospital stay.

God bless-stay positive--take one step at a time--you'll both get through this.


lewvino's picture
Posts: 1010
Joined: May 2009

My dad was treated for Prostate Cancer in 1997 and I just found out last month that I have PC.
Just be there for your Dad. Listen to him, help him, show him you care. Offer to take him to appointments if needed, etc. My Dad went out to California for Treatments and my wife and I went out to visit him 1/2 way through his treatments for the weekend. It helped cheer up my dad then to have the visit.

I thought I knew what he was feeling and my mom also since she has had breast cancer. Now here I am facing it and WHAM...I had not idea how hard the emotions are until it hit me.

So many factors can determine the outcome based on your dads age, PSA, Gleason Numbers etc. Find out what you can and don't be afraid to research and ask questions.


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