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Tired of being SICK

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

Well its 130am Friday morning, feeling really sick and cant sleep. I am sure there are a few of you out there that can relate. As you know I was in the hospital last week and was off my chemo for a week, saw my ONC on wednesday this week and he said to contiue it, well I dont know what it is but its kicking my butt. Its only been a few days and it feels like I have 2 weeks worth of chemo in me. Have to run to make it to the bathroom, feel like throwing up, dead tired but cant sleep, and yes I am just whining here. On my 6th round and have 2 more to go. If all goes well I should be done with chemo by the first week in June. I cant wait, and then comes the scans and the waiting. God how I pray this will be over and the scans will be clear. For all of you that have endured this longer, I dont know how you do it!

I miss buzzard, sure could use some of his uplifting posts about now. Buzzard some of us still need you, cant you please come back...

I feel so drained and a bit negative right about now. I am typing with my eyes closed but yet trying to keep from throwing up, horrible feeling. I dont mean to complain I know there are others that are in worse shape than I, just needed to vent some. No one here to talk to but my four walls, and they dont have much to say....LOL...

Well I sure hope everyone is sleeping and having nice dreams...


dianetavegia's picture
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

They probably should have given you another week off to recuperate. I'm so sorry you feel this bad.

I've kept you in prayer, even last night, but will pray during the day today every time you cross my mind. Good thoughts for the next two treatments to go well, perfect scans, happy, healthy grandbaby, and only good things from now on.

Hope you wake feeling better. Only 2 more to go, only 2 more til done!

God bless and a GREAT BIG HUG,


colon2's picture
Posts: 184
Joined: Feb 2009

You go ahead and vent. Sometimes it just overwhelms us and we feel like we can't do it anymore. That is when we have to vent a little, whine and complain for a while and get it out of our system. Then we get back to fighting. It sure is difficult sometimes. This last treatment of mine ( #4) has really kicked my butt. I think it was because I also have a sinus infection, and the two combined have just been more than I can handle. Monday i start # 5 and I will be honest and say, I don't want to. BUT I will, because that is what survivors do. We fight just as long as we can. We may lose sometimes, but we won't go down without a fight. So go ahead and vent , that's what we are here for,to give support when needed, and yes I miss Buzzard too. Wish he would come back. I hope and pray that nothing has happened to him. His posts always made you feel encouraged.
God Bless You,

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I appreciate your posts and your prayers. I didnt sleep much, but I am starting to feel a little better, not running to the bathroom as much now, thank God. I have to take my puppy to the vet this morning and then I will try to get some very needed sleep. I hate to whine but was just beside myself last night and needed to vent some. I do feel better, and thank you.

I wish I could find a way to get Buzzard to come back. From what I read I see where he is upset but it just sucks that he doesnt come around anymore. There are so many new people here, its sad, I say that because it just tells us this stupid beast just wont go away. Its happening to so many people, and I see that the age range is getting so much younger it just breaks my heart. I pray everyday for a cure!

We do have some great people here and I so enjoy reading everyones post and finding out how everyone is doing and handling their own journey. It gives me hope and inspires me as well. All I can do is take one day at a time and continue to fight and pray. God Bless everyone here!


kimby's picture
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007


I so get it! I had just finished 5 weeks of liver rads while continuing on chemo when my rad onc warned me that the week AFTER I completed rads would be the worst. I, of course, disregarded that cuz it didn't apply to me. :D Well, I planned a weekend away to visit my son in college and had some high school things to attend when I got back -- completly over did and ended up very sick. So, I got a full MONTH horizontal! Still on chemo (of course I didn't report the illness to my onc)through it all and couldnt get out of bed for a month! I lost way too much weight and I'm sure alot of that was muscle. Now I'm weak and tired everyday and just can't bounce back. I'm just sick of it! I try to do what I can to regain my strength but it is just taking longer than I'd like. I want to have some good days before I start more liver treatments next month.

So, let's whine together! (doesn't wine together sound better? LOL) It'll be ok.


Posts: 144
Joined: Jan 2009

I feel so SICK after chemo. I'm on 5FU and Oxi. I can deal with the tired feeling, skin problems, and cold hands and feet, but the worst is the chest/throat irritation. I feel like I've caught a cold and it makes me miserable. The sleep problem bothers me too. I'm tired, but many times can't fall asleep. I'm glad you posted...I don't feel like I'm the only one needing to vent. I wish you the best.

lisa42's picture
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Beth,

I hear ya- I've had the sleepless nights of feeling lousy too. Lately I've been doing pretty well, though, so because I know from experience it didn't last forever- I know it won't last forever with you either- it just feels like a forever of torture in the meantime, doesn't it?! I remember several months back having many nights where I was on the board at 2 or 3 in the morning, unable to sleep. It was pretty rough.

I know I miss Buzzard's posts too.
Maybe he'll still come back. If not, though, just remember his encouraging words and apply them to your situation now. I loved his "God bless ya, hon" that he would always add at the end of his posts. Remember your posts a few months back with how very down and discouraged you were feeling & you came through it and were a great encouragement to many others here. Now you're having a lousy time again of being sick, which is definitely discouraging. But- you'll get through this and will be all the stronger for it afterwards and will be the inspiration and encourager to others all the more!

You take care and "stay strong"!

God bless,

VickiCO's picture
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

Darlin', I am so sorry you are feeling bad. It seems to be running through us. I had my chemo 3 weeks ago, and still having problems. I go back Monday for Round 2, and I just hate to go! But I will, of course. I just said to my friend yesterday, "I am sick & tired of being sick & tired!" So yes, we understand.

I, too, miss Buzzard. I wish he could get past this and come back.

Many hugs, Vicki

dianetavegia's picture
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Just yesterday, at hubby's middle school baseball game, the gym teacher for the opposing team told me they have a 7th grade girl with colon cancer. The family notified the school and instructed them not to speak to the girl about it or ask her any questions.

7th grade! What is that? 13???

maglets's picture
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

Darling Beth I am so sorry you feel crappy and so happy you posted. I am in the middle of 4 of 6 and it has kicked my butt this time. Nausea a constant sea of nausea and weird whatever chemo feelings.

Yesterday we saw the liver surgeon and he said the fluid was nothing......whewww.....you all know the feeling,.dodged the bullet for another moment.

Ahhh Bethie hang and whine whine whine.....lovely to know there are others out there.....


tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Beth, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, but it's good you came here to vent. Rant on,sister, and see if it helps you. I bet it will!


P.S. I miss Buzzard a lot, too. I keep sending him private messages, but I have no indication of whether or not he's read them.

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I remember the feelings well. But now, 4 years out, they are fading. I walked the hall in my treatment center the other day to my oncologist's appointment. I remembered the times I cried out for a wheelchair, because I just couldn't make it any further.

I guess my point is to hang in there...there WILL be a better time. Trite, I know, but true.

I had many, many low times, and that is when I turned to my God. I ask Him to lift me up, and to let me rest. He never let me down. My favorite song was "You lift me up" by Josh Grobin. I visualized walking on the stormy seas. During this crisis with my beau, I still turn to Him.

Hugs to you, Kathi

dianetavegia's picture
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

We love that song, too, and it brings me peace. Thanks for reminding us of our God's faithfulness.

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

Thank you for your post, it means alot to me. I am just going through a rough patch right now. I pray it gets over soon. I love that song too, it always makes me feel better too. I am just tired of being sick and being so sad all the time. But it will pass I just wish it would hurry up.


dixchi's picture
Posts: 438
Joined: Jun 2008

Even tho I am feeling good right now, I remember just a few short
months back how awful I felt doing the treatments, running to the
bathroom, constipation then diarrhea, not enjoying anything I ate,etc
And I always remember that the good times are now but there is no
guarantee that I won't have to go thru hell again.....so my thoughts
are with you and keep remembering, it will not last forever.


Posts: 233
Joined: Feb 2009

It does suck, doesn't it? Ignore Buzzard - he is so busy playing the "poor me" game and not responding (they were mean to me). But there are enough uplifing posts that should sustain you. This is a good group and do take comfort from them.

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I do take comfort in everyone here, there are a great bunch of people and I appreciate them all. But I do miss Buzzard and he will be back when he is ready and I will welcome him back with oprn arms!

I cant thank everyone here enough, so many have been there when I needed them, and I just hope i can return the same. I hope I can help someone here too. I pray for everyone here each night. I hate that this stupid beast has affected so many people, it just breaks my heart.

Thank you for your post, I hope you are doing well.

God Bless

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