Just found out last night

RRMCJIM
RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
I found out last night I have PC. I am 54, never been sick,was a weight lifter,natural, no steroids, my PSA was 4.52. My biopsy showed one sample of twelve taken to be 25% involved. All the others were normal. Gleason is 3+3=6. Dr recommends robotics,I have Kaiser. They can send my for surgery in 5-6 weeks. All to fast. The mechanic in me wants it out, fix it and move on. My wife is my strength, after a life time together, she has no second thoughts, get it out. Me, I am reading everything I can. Just (scared) nervous.
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Comments

  • ismetals
    ismetals Member Posts: 69
    First of all good luck. You
    First of all good luck. You have a lot to learn before making a decision. This is a good place to start. There lots of other places also. One of them is no man stands alone. I had never heard of these sites before my surgery and it would have been great to have done more homework.
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    ismetals said:

    First of all good luck. You
    First of all good luck. You have a lot to learn before making a decision. This is a good place to start. There lots of other places also. One of them is no man stands alone. I had never heard of these sites before my surgery and it would have been great to have done more homework.

    thank you ismetal
    thank you for your response. I am glad to have found this site. It is reassuring to know of others going thru this also. Being able to read their expereances to all this.
  • JoeMac
    JoeMac Member Posts: 77
    Slow & Easy
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    Please, you have plenty of time to make your decision. Any treatment choice you make will change your life as you know it now.
    If you can, please read my "Gleson 6 or less" article.
    If you enjoy your current intimate life with your wife, take the time to visit all the sites and read & ask your doc many, many questions.
    You do have a choice, do not rush into treatment, what is your PSA doing? steady, slow rise, fast rise. I did not have a choice, our sex life has changed, it is different and difficult for me to accept. I am working on it. Before treatment, I was 65, off road bicycling, farming, wood working, mechanic, hiking. I feel like I lost my last two years. Still not back on the bike, and doing very little farming.
    Other sites are:
    NCI - prostate
    www.yananow.net
    Please read it all, ask many questions, then If you still want it out, it is your choice.
    Joe
  • Olee
    Olee Member Posts: 97
    JoeMac said:

    Slow & Easy
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    Please, you have plenty of time to make your decision. Any treatment choice you make will change your life as you know it now.
    If you can, please read my "Gleson 6 or less" article.
    If you enjoy your current intimate life with your wife, take the time to visit all the sites and read & ask your doc many, many questions.
    You do have a choice, do not rush into treatment, what is your PSA doing? steady, slow rise, fast rise. I did not have a choice, our sex life has changed, it is different and difficult for me to accept. I am working on it. Before treatment, I was 65, off road bicycling, farming, wood working, mechanic, hiking. I feel like I lost my last two years. Still not back on the bike, and doing very little farming.
    Other sites are:
    NCI - prostate
    www.yananow.net
    Please read it all, ask many questions, then If you still want it out, it is your choice.
    Joe

    Wishing You The Best
    I am wishing you the best. I am 40 years old and just had robotic surgery three weeks ago this Thursday. I learned right away with PC, there is no set of rules that apply to every survivor. There is no right and wrong. Every man has a different situation which requires a decision based on his diagnosis and future outlook. Do lots of research, which at times will frustrate you and confuse you to no end, but you will benefit from it eventually. You can gather information from the internet,various physician consults, as well as fellow survivors. lean on family,friends and fellow survivors for support, you'll need it during your journey. I shed tears,pounded my fist, talked my friends ears off,read everything I could get my hands on and ask 1001 questions, it's perfectly normal. I'm dealing with side affects of the surgery, but I'm alive and looking forward to years more to share with my wife and kids, that's what's important. You hang in there and know we're here for you!
  • g8rb8
    g8rb8 Member Posts: 18
    What you're feeling is
    What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I'm 45 and one month post-daVinci as of yesterday. I was originally diagnosed on Dec 18 and had the procedure on Feb 9. Spend time on this site reading stories and gathering info, there are a ton of other sites too: ustoo.org is one. Talk to your wife about your expectations and concerns. Be open with each other about what you expect and want after the procedure is over. You've spent a life together and you have a life left to go after the treatment, however you decide to proceed. Take a lot of time and ask specific questions of your doctor to get as much from them as you can about their experience and expectations/recommendations for you.

    Being scared is perfectly normal. Talk to your friends and wife and be sure you're doing the best thing for your case. The time will move fast, gather information, make your decision and get comfortable with it.
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    g8rb8 said:

    What you're feeling is
    What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I'm 45 and one month post-daVinci as of yesterday. I was originally diagnosed on Dec 18 and had the procedure on Feb 9. Spend time on this site reading stories and gathering info, there are a ton of other sites too: ustoo.org is one. Talk to your wife about your expectations and concerns. Be open with each other about what you expect and want after the procedure is over. You've spent a life together and you have a life left to go after the treatment, however you decide to proceed. Take a lot of time and ask specific questions of your doctor to get as much from them as you can about their experience and expectations/recommendations for you.

    Being scared is perfectly normal. Talk to your friends and wife and be sure you're doing the best thing for your case. The time will move fast, gather information, make your decision and get comfortable with it.

    thank you all
    I am glad everyone is here. My family all want me to opt for the surgery, no pressure, just concerned. Me, I feel like I am in a mourning stage right now. Very emotional, and angry (why me) etc...but having forums like this one is helping. Talking to others going thru what we will all be dealing with (and are). Thank you for your insight in this, all of you. I appreciate it more than I could express.
  • manybless
    manybless Member Posts: 6
    Take a breath!
    Good evening. First of all, don't forget to breath. Everything will happen faster than you may think. I am 42, diagnosed Nov 12th, PSA 3.8, Gleason 3+3. When I first heard that I had cancer the mechanic in me said to remove it as well. On Dec 8th I had the DaVinci robotic Surgery. I am fortunate as I do not have any continence issues and only wore the depends for 3 days. ED issues....I am not the same guy I was before but it still works! Cialis is a very good drug when I need to use it. Beyond those issues, life is good. Every treatment has side effects that go with it. Just spend some time listening and reading and you will know what the right decision is for you when you make it. Good luck and God bless!
    Pastor Bobby
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    manybless said:

    Take a breath!
    Good evening. First of all, don't forget to breath. Everything will happen faster than you may think. I am 42, diagnosed Nov 12th, PSA 3.8, Gleason 3+3. When I first heard that I had cancer the mechanic in me said to remove it as well. On Dec 8th I had the DaVinci robotic Surgery. I am fortunate as I do not have any continence issues and only wore the depends for 3 days. ED issues....I am not the same guy I was before but it still works! Cialis is a very good drug when I need to use it. Beyond those issues, life is good. Every treatment has side effects that go with it. Just spend some time listening and reading and you will know what the right decision is for you when you make it. Good luck and God bless!
    Pastor Bobby

    I am trying
    I do try, but still very emotional all the time. Never thought I would be such a cry baby, or so angry. I have another appt with my urologist on monday. I have so many question now that I have been doing research on this disease. I hope to get some answers in person, rather than by e-mail with my Dr. He is being patient with all my e-mail however. I think I found one of the good ones first time out of the gate. He still thinks I should go the Robotic method , but with only one sample out of twelve showing a 25% involvement 3+3 I am wondering if active survellance isn't an option worth considering. I just need more info before I can make an educated decision.
  • mkd51
    mkd51 Member Posts: 9
    RRMCJIM said:

    I am trying
    I do try, but still very emotional all the time. Never thought I would be such a cry baby, or so angry. I have another appt with my urologist on monday. I have so many question now that I have been doing research on this disease. I hope to get some answers in person, rather than by e-mail with my Dr. He is being patient with all my e-mail however. I think I found one of the good ones first time out of the gate. He still thinks I should go the Robotic method , but with only one sample out of twelve showing a 25% involvement 3+3 I am wondering if active survellance isn't an option worth considering. I just need more info before I can make an educated decision.

    I'm 51 and I was diagnosed
    I'm 51 and I was diagnosed on 1/23/09 after my biopsy 3 days earlier came back positive on 4 of the 12 samples. My doctor discussed the options with us and we felt that the best choice was the robotic procedure. My procedure was performed on 3/03/09 and I was released from the hospital the next day. Whatever pain or discomfort experienced from the surgery while at the hospital or for a few days after was handled with prescription pain medication. Any discomfort since, then it's Tylenol. Post op visit on 3/10 where the staples and catheter were removed. Only issue since has been with incontinence. Hopefully this is a temporary annoyance.
  • Olee
    Olee Member Posts: 97
    mkd51 said:

    I'm 51 and I was diagnosed
    I'm 51 and I was diagnosed on 1/23/09 after my biopsy 3 days earlier came back positive on 4 of the 12 samples. My doctor discussed the options with us and we felt that the best choice was the robotic procedure. My procedure was performed on 3/03/09 and I was released from the hospital the next day. Whatever pain or discomfort experienced from the surgery while at the hospital or for a few days after was handled with prescription pain medication. Any discomfort since, then it's Tylenol. Post op visit on 3/10 where the staples and catheter were removed. Only issue since has been with incontinence. Hopefully this is a temporary annoyance.

    Emotions
    Emotions are something that are going to come to the surface during this time my friend. The men on this site are human and if we thought we were above it, we sure got a kick of a reminder the day we were diagnosed with PC. I got all kinds of advice from family,friends etc when it came to emotions. It ranged from let it out,be optimistic,be positive, be strong, don't let it get to you, that shows weakness, to cry your eyes out if need be. Well guess what, I did them all. I'm a big guy who has always lifted weights, I played football,joined the US Army,hike alot,love motorcycles and with the stature and tattoos,don't look like a guy who might be that emotional. The day however that it was suspected that I had PC, I sat in my car thinking about my kids, my wife and all the things I still wanna see in this world, and I balled my eyes out right there on the spot. I've always been the leader in the family, not to mention the protector, now I was faced with a weakness and uncertainty. I cried many times since my diagnosis, out of nowhere, sometimes in my wife's arms , and sometimes completely alone. There have been many times also where I cursed and pounded my fist, even punching something close by(not human of course). The love I received though, from my wife and family, allowed me to feel peace and look to the future. Now that my surgery is complete, my emotions have evolved into renewed hope and happiness. Hang in there my friend, you're in company that understands.
  • shipjim
    shipjim Member Posts: 137
    RRMCJIM said:

    I am trying
    I do try, but still very emotional all the time. Never thought I would be such a cry baby, or so angry. I have another appt with my urologist on monday. I have so many question now that I have been doing research on this disease. I hope to get some answers in person, rather than by e-mail with my Dr. He is being patient with all my e-mail however. I think I found one of the good ones first time out of the gate. He still thinks I should go the Robotic method , but with only one sample out of twelve showing a 25% involvement 3+3 I am wondering if active survellance isn't an option worth considering. I just need more info before I can make an educated decision.

    Watch and Wait......not!
    I too know all the fear. My Dad had it in the 1960's before all the tests so when it was finally found due to it's growth it was all through him. I remember all the tubes and surgeries he had.
    I was diagnosed at the same age as my Dad, 58. I was told on a Monday, by the following Tuesday had completed all my pre surgery tests and for SuperBowl 2006 I watched between bouts of the old golightly! 6am check in at the hospital, in my room by 10 done. Walking with my new best friend (catheter and bag) by 2 bored to death by 4 left next am at 8.
    Wore the bag 10 days, things to know about the bags, the small one you strap to your leg won't hold 2 large ice teas if you take a nap, I used the zip off pants and hanged the big on inside and no one but me knew, first time I'd sat thru a whole movie in years.

    10 days later the cath came out, I wore pads (depends)at first quickly went to panty liners gradually getting smaller now after 3.5 yrs, I wear liners as convience and protection against the random sneeze or what ever, drinking especially for me wine, makes one leak a bit.

    I am impotent,with no erections (naybe 1/2 staff) the viagra etc don't seem to help, but can attain orgasm. Other than that, I'm FREE of CANCER, no wondering if it'll spread, no fear of future problems from it, it's GONE.

    There are of course other options, regular surgeries, seeds, chemo, hormones etc but only one gets it out and Da Vinci is almost painless. Much easier than the gall bladder removal I had laproscopic on in the 1990's.

    Goood luck on your decision and let us all know as you progress. jj
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    shipjim said:

    Watch and Wait......not!
    I too know all the fear. My Dad had it in the 1960's before all the tests so when it was finally found due to it's growth it was all through him. I remember all the tubes and surgeries he had.
    I was diagnosed at the same age as my Dad, 58. I was told on a Monday, by the following Tuesday had completed all my pre surgery tests and for SuperBowl 2006 I watched between bouts of the old golightly! 6am check in at the hospital, in my room by 10 done. Walking with my new best friend (catheter and bag) by 2 bored to death by 4 left next am at 8.
    Wore the bag 10 days, things to know about the bags, the small one you strap to your leg won't hold 2 large ice teas if you take a nap, I used the zip off pants and hanged the big on inside and no one but me knew, first time I'd sat thru a whole movie in years.

    10 days later the cath came out, I wore pads (depends)at first quickly went to panty liners gradually getting smaller now after 3.5 yrs, I wear liners as convience and protection against the random sneeze or what ever, drinking especially for me wine, makes one leak a bit.

    I am impotent,with no erections (naybe 1/2 staff) the viagra etc don't seem to help, but can attain orgasm. Other than that, I'm FREE of CANCER, no wondering if it'll spread, no fear of future problems from it, it's GONE.

    There are of course other options, regular surgeries, seeds, chemo, hormones etc but only one gets it out and Da Vinci is almost painless. Much easier than the gall bladder removal I had laproscopic on in the 1990's.

    Goood luck on your decision and let us all know as you progress. jj

    closer to a decision
    Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I have certainly realized that priorities in my life are not what they use to be. This disease has turned things upside for us. I never realized all the options that would be open to me. I will meet with my Dr on Monday and ask alot more questions. I am told that things don't have to move at a fast pace, that i have time to decided what is right for me. But in my heart I still believe that the only way to know it is gone, is to have it removed.
  • JoeMac
    JoeMac Member Posts: 77
    RRMCJIM said:

    closer to a decision
    Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I have certainly realized that priorities in my life are not what they use to be. This disease has turned things upside for us. I never realized all the options that would be open to me. I will meet with my Dr on Monday and ask alot more questions. I am told that things don't have to move at a fast pace, that i have time to decided what is right for me. But in my heart I still believe that the only way to know it is gone, is to have it removed.

    Decisions - Life Changes
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    Your life has already changed with out your input. Now your choice to treat or not to treat will make more changes in your life. Ask questions, assess risks, what are you willing to take a chance on gaining/loosing. Take time to talk to someone from Behavioral Health Services. My wife and I waited way to long to seek help from BHS, almost a year after EBRT. Follow your PSA for a while. Mine rose from 8 to 14 in six months, I did not have a choice with all 12 cores 5 to 70% positive. If your PSA is steady, you can lead a normal life. If not steady, you have plenty of time to make the choice. Because we as a society are looking for prostate cancer, we are finding it in younger men. Most men die from other causes. Ask your doc if he knows of any man that has died with similar test results as yours.
    Faith, Hope, & Love,
    Joe
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    JoeMac said:

    Decisions - Life Changes
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    Your life has already changed with out your input. Now your choice to treat or not to treat will make more changes in your life. Ask questions, assess risks, what are you willing to take a chance on gaining/loosing. Take time to talk to someone from Behavioral Health Services. My wife and I waited way to long to seek help from BHS, almost a year after EBRT. Follow your PSA for a while. Mine rose from 8 to 14 in six months, I did not have a choice with all 12 cores 5 to 70% positive. If your PSA is steady, you can lead a normal life. If not steady, you have plenty of time to make the choice. Because we as a society are looking for prostate cancer, we are finding it in younger men. Most men die from other causes. Ask your doc if he knows of any man that has died with similar test results as yours.
    Faith, Hope, & Love,
    Joe

    decisions
    I have thought of that JoeMac. The studies I read of insignificant PC does bring up questions of their own. But I also have the family, my wife ,our 5 girls and grandkids. This effects all of us. So I do have a large support group . After my visit on Monday, We are off to the Islands for a brief respite from all this, hopefully to stop and think with some normalcy in my life. And yes, my life has changed without any input from me, and that really pisses me off. To think how hard we work in life , doing the best for our families, planning for retirement, getting close, making plans, only to get kicked in the balls when the object is at hand. So now I have to decide what is my best chances for making it to a natural end. Hopefully a long way off.
  • JoeMac
    JoeMac Member Posts: 77
    RRMCJIM said:

    decisions
    I have thought of that JoeMac. The studies I read of insignificant PC does bring up questions of their own. But I also have the family, my wife ,our 5 girls and grandkids. This effects all of us. So I do have a large support group . After my visit on Monday, We are off to the Islands for a brief respite from all this, hopefully to stop and think with some normalcy in my life. And yes, my life has changed without any input from me, and that really pisses me off. To think how hard we work in life , doing the best for our families, planning for retirement, getting close, making plans, only to get kicked in the balls when the object is at hand. So now I have to decide what is my best chances for making it to a natural end. Hopefully a long way off.

    Suggested Reading
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    May I suggest reading the following;
    http://www.vapcacoalition.org/Docs/ViewsFromTheOtherSide.pdf
    I receved this input from a question I posted on a web site.
    Sandy & I live on the Hamakua Coast on the Big Island.
    Faith, Hope, & Love,
    Joe
  • RRMCJIM
    RRMCJIM Member Posts: 149
    JoeMac said:

    Suggested Reading
    Aloha RRMCJIM,
    May I suggest reading the following;
    http://www.vapcacoalition.org/Docs/ViewsFromTheOtherSide.pdf
    I receved this input from a question I posted on a web site.
    Sandy & I live on the Hamakua Coast on the Big Island.
    Faith, Hope, & Love,
    Joe

    thank Joe.
    Thank joe, seems like reading and research is all I do when I get home from work. Took off 3 days for a pity party. Wife (Sheri) was there every step of the way. went to the Dr again today for more info. It felt more normal getting back to work after the party was over. I have always been a sort of work-a-holic. We have a friend stationed at Kaneohe, Hi who is after me to come spend a couple of weeks and clear my head. A little wind surfing, a little diving, and all will be right with the world, at least until I get back home. LOL
  • ismetals
    ismetals Member Posts: 69
    RRMCJIM said:

    thank Joe.
    Thank joe, seems like reading and research is all I do when I get home from work. Took off 3 days for a pity party. Wife (Sheri) was there every step of the way. went to the Dr again today for more info. It felt more normal getting back to work after the party was over. I have always been a sort of work-a-holic. We have a friend stationed at Kaneohe, Hi who is after me to come spend a couple of weeks and clear my head. A little wind surfing, a little diving, and all will be right with the world, at least until I get back home. LOL

    I think you should go to Hi.
    I think you should go to Hi. Sounds like you got your head on straight. For me it's been 6 months post op. Feel great, incontenance has'nt been a problem. That's the biggest hurdle in my book. Sounds like you have taken care of you body and it should respond well. The ed part kind of sucks though. Viagra is starting to work though. You really have to keep your mind in the game. The VA is weird though. They told me to go in for a physical and then I got a bill. I'll Let you know how that works out.
  • whubbs
    whubbs Member Posts: 77
    ismetals said:

    I think you should go to Hi.
    I think you should go to Hi. Sounds like you got your head on straight. For me it's been 6 months post op. Feel great, incontenance has'nt been a problem. That's the biggest hurdle in my book. Sounds like you have taken care of you body and it should respond well. The ed part kind of sucks though. Viagra is starting to work though. You really have to keep your mind in the game. The VA is weird though. They told me to go in for a physical and then I got a bill. I'll Let you know how that works out.

    Life after robotic
    RRCMJIM,

    I'm 4 months outside of my robotic prostatectomy and doing well!
    A couple small issues (pardon the pun) but they are workable.

    One of the most important things you can do for yourself moving forward, is understanding results, complications, benefits, etc. on each treatment, right from people who've been through it. This coupled with your doctors recommendations is a wealth of information and will insure you've made the right decision for yourself.

    I'd be happy to share my experiences with you, take a peek at my thread: http://csn.cancer.org/node/163769
    or feel free to email me at [email protected], I'd be happy to answer any questions you have, including those 'hard to ask on a public forum' ones too.
    I've been contacted by many men in the same boat, and I'm more than happy to help out in any way.

    Good Luck! -Wayne
  • mkd51
    mkd51 Member Posts: 9
    whubbs said:

    Life after robotic
    RRCMJIM,

    I'm 4 months outside of my robotic prostatectomy and doing well!
    A couple small issues (pardon the pun) but they are workable.

    One of the most important things you can do for yourself moving forward, is understanding results, complications, benefits, etc. on each treatment, right from people who've been through it. This coupled with your doctors recommendations is a wealth of information and will insure you've made the right decision for yourself.

    I'd be happy to share my experiences with you, take a peek at my thread: http://csn.cancer.org/node/163769
    or feel free to email me at [email protected], I'd be happy to answer any questions you have, including those 'hard to ask on a public forum' ones too.
    I've been contacted by many men in the same boat, and I'm more than happy to help out in any way.

    Good Luck! -Wayne

    Wayne's help
    RRCMJIM,

    I took Wayne up on his public invitation to ask him questions and I can tell you that he was a big help!

    Mark
  • ismetals
    ismetals Member Posts: 69
    mkd51 said:

    Wayne's help
    RRCMJIM,

    I took Wayne up on his public invitation to ask him questions and I can tell you that he was a big help!

    Mark

    here's mine:
    here's mine: [email protected] Anyone with a sensitive question can contact me there