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Mom died very sudden...

Wernersummer's picture
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2009

my mom died 3 days after we found out she had cancer from her brain to her toes and every where in bettween...help me it realy ihurts and my faimly is not realy helping me....

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

I'm very sorry to hear that your Mom has passed. I lost my Mom in 2002 to Parkinson's. I lost my Dad in 06 to congestive heart failure. Each year at certain times it gets harder. How old was your Mom? Do you have siblings? I'm an only child. Sometimes are families are not helpful, it's a close friend who can help. Sometimes it can be a support group. I've learned to feel the pain and mourn my parents loss. I'm also dealing with the cancer that I had. I had colon cancer. The one thing I do know is don't suffer alone. This board is helpful. God bless.

Posts: 50
Joined: May 2007

I am truly sorry that you are dealing with the loss of your Mother. It can be truly devastating to lose one so quickly to cancer. I lost my Father and my brother both to the disease. It takes time to adjust to that loss and deal with the sadness that it brings for you.The one constant that brought me some relieve was knowing that they no longer were suffering. Although, that doesn't instantly make it any easier to deal with the loss. I hope that you know that there are many people here who understand and can help at this time.
hugs and prayers

hunpot's picture
Posts: 90
Joined: Nov 2008

SO sorry you have to go through this. My mom passed 6 months ago we were best of friends. She was my rock we did everything together. It is the hardest thing we have to go through as children to lose our parents the ones we love and need so much. Try to take it one day at a time and remember the good things and times you had. She would want you to be sad but to move on and be happy. Try and visit her grave or visit a spot that you two shared togther it may help you to feel better. The hardest is the first few months you feel lonely and sad and may cry alot but it does get better. Try and do things for mom now it may make you feel better that you are doing things for her and she would want. Im sure she loved you with everything she had. She brought you up to be strong girl now its your time to make her happy. I guess its a blessing you didnt have to watch her suffer not that it makes it better. Im sure you wish you had more time to say things but she new how you felt and how much you loved her. Remember to smile and just take one day at a time.

I know you dont want to hear that i hated hearing that but it is true. I am not a pill person and hate taking meds and everyone told me i needed to see counselor and get help i put it off up until a month ago and it really helps the medicine makes me feel better and not so alone, Just make sure if you see a counselor you see someone about grief try and call your local hospice group and explain im sure they will be more then happy to help you and it will make you feel better.
MAy god bless you and watch over you now.

Posts: 318
Joined: Feb 2008

So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband and yes time will make it easier. Its the hardest thing we have to deal with losing someone we love for a little while then someday we will be with them. These Ladies advice is true. One day at a time. We grieve off and on for a while but - Remember she would want you to remember her with a smile. I hope you can find someway like counseling or someone to talk to.
Prayers and Hugs

lindaprocopio's picture
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

You have my profound sympathy. Each of us feels so alone in our grief, no matter how many arms reach out to encircle us. But please believe that you are not truly alone. Love never dies and is still there. Try to let your mother's undying love wash over you and give you some peace. The memories that are so painful now will one day make you smile. The grief you feel today honors your mother, but she would want your heart to heal. And it will. In time.

You are in my prayers.

blueroses's picture
Posts: 527
Joined: Jul 2008

Hello Wernersummer. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your Mother and I am sure that the idea of it happening so suddenly leaves you not only in grief but in shock as well. That is unimaginable that someone would be so sick with cancer and not have been found out earlier but I guess it can happen for sure. Did your Mum go to the doctor regularly in the past or have any obvious issues with her health? You will find great comfort and feedback from this board I am sure and if you can't seem to get out of any emotion that is causing you deep problems don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about seeing a grief counsellor - they can really help. You are in my prayers, Blueroses.

Posts: 107
Joined: Feb 2007

You sound like you were very close to your mother so it affects you more. I agree that the rest of the family and some other peoples just "don't get it".

My mother passed suddenly too. She was the last of my family - closest kin are 1st cousins now. I still remember after the funeral walking alone through an empty parking lot to my car with a box of leftover cookies and coming home alone to an empty house. In everyone else's mind it was all over, move on but I couldn't do that yet. Nobody called to see how I was doing Zilch. So, I can kinda understand how your are feeling.

Try reaching out to your family & friends a bit. They just might not know how to be around you. Get your mind on other things. If you have to pack up, etc your mom's stuff just pack it up and don't go through it unless you have to find insurance stuff, important papers, etc. Later on when you feel like it, go through some boxes & stuff. It will still make you sad but you will be in a better frame of mind to handle it. I still have some boxes of stuff from my folks. I go through them once yearly - take out 10 things and put back 9 but making progress. You will come out ok but it will take some time. Good luck!

Posts: 13
Joined: Apr 2009

hello im alley and i can feel your pain .i lost my mom to brain cancer 9/2/08 and it really hurts me i am 28yrs old and i can still say i need my mom around.i now take care of my younger brother and sister it is so hard and its like all this happened over night. i really did not expect this to be like this.i have five aunts and one uncle my grandmother is still alive and i have lots of family but it just seems like no 0ne is really ther for me dont get me wrong i love my family but i really feel like they can help us out more i work very hard.since my mom passed away i really did not have time to mourn becouse i had to be strong for my bother my sister and my 4yrs old daughter sometimes i still feel alone becouse at the end of the day i make sure that my family is o.k but its like i dont have anyone to make sure im ok and thats what my mom always did she was the one that always made sure that i was o.k and thats why i miss her so much.your mom loved u and she wants you to be ok im here for you if you need me becouse i know what it is im so sorry may god bless and keep you safe......amen

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