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I lost my Dad 1 year ago this New Year's Day and I haven't had a chance to accept that he's gone. I need someone to talk to....

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2009

My Dad was diagnosed in September 2008 with Stage 4 bladder, bone, liver and lung cancer. Previously, he was told he only had diabetic naropothy (spelling??), gave him a prescription and called it a day. I'm very angry with the VA for the misdiagnosis. I feel he was robbed of time. Had they caught it sooner, he may still be here. My Dad was a very proud father/grandfather 1st and foremost, but he was also a very pround USMC serviceman. OOH-RAH, Daddy!!! I can't really talk to my husband about emotional stuff, my brother doesn't do the emotional thing, and if my friends haven't gone through this, they can't really help me either. I miss my Dad so much and I just need someone to talk to.

MR_SAD's picture
Posts: 91
Joined: Nov 2008

I am truly sorry for your Loss. I lost my Wife of 25 years on Dec. 27, 2008. My days are very sad and lonely, as yours must be. To loose someone you love is the hardest thing we have to go thru. There will be times when you need to just be alone and cry your heart out. There is really no words that can be said to make it any easyer to deal with. Just know you have a Lot of people here on this site that has also been through and going thru what you have experienced. We All will help in any way we can. I am a great listener. Talk back at us anytime you need to. we are here to help. hope you have a better day

hollyberry's picture
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

My deepest condolences to you, sweetheart. I can only imagine your pain and sense of loss, but I am truly sorry that you feel so alone. I am a mom with three kids and have terminal cancer myself and the only thing that matters to me now is that my family is o.k. when I pass. I'm sure your dad wanted the same for you and your siblings. I told my children that I will always be with them and your dad will be with you, too. He'll be in your heart and in your memories, he'll be that little voice that reminds you of the fun things you did together and the family stories that you pass down to your kids. He will never leave you; God promised us an eternity together and that is what you will have. There will be no more pain or sickness or sorrow, just love and peace.
I will listen if you need to talk, just message me. I'm a good listener, too. Mr. Sad is a great dad and I know he has some great advice for getting through these difficult days; he's been there and has really been such a good friend to all of us. You can count on us to listen and we will do our best to comfort you. Your dad would be proud of you for reaching out and getting the support you need; after all, a marine always counts on his comrades. Just think of us as yours and we will help any way we can.
With so much love,

Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2009

Oh my gosh, did i see myself in your message. When i lost my Dad (not to cancer but to a massive heart attack) I thought my world had ended. It took me so long to get on with my life. I know my Dad would not have wanted that and i am sure that yours would not either. Believe me, things will and do get better. One day the things that made you cry will make you smile. Just remember, he lives on, in you and your memories of all the great times you shared. May God be with you and peace will come.
Take care and be strong,

terato's picture
Posts: 383
Joined: Apr 2002

VFW member, and VA volunteer, who did not receive the best treatment from the VA following his stroke in 1990. It is sad that those who have given so much to the armed services often receive so little when they themselves are in need. However, my dad lived to the age of 87, until his second massive stroke in 1998 took his life. Your father sounds like a younger man, probably closer to my age.

I know how I feel any time I read the "In Memorium" section of my alumni magazine and see the names of classmates. My brother died by his own hand at the age of 39, which was very hard for me to take for a long time, especially since I was the one who found him. I admit to a degree of insanity for at least two years following Bob's death. Here, I was thinking that cancer would take me first, and I was the survivor, in fact, I am now the sole survivor, having lost my mother in 2006.

Know that there are people who share your feelings. Your church or hospital may have grief support groups which can be very helpful. There is this discussion board along with other grief support boards on the internet like: "http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/coping_with_a_fathers_death.shtml"

Love, Courage, and Peace of Mind!


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