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You know what?

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

I'm actually going to go to work tomorrow. I miss everyone there so much, and while I still have energy, I want to help out the therapists. I talk to my supervisor last night on the phone and she said they know their options was, was that they didn't want to lose me, and are willing to work around me, that was so sweet and made me feel so good, even through my chemo appts, she said even if I'm out for a few months, they just don't want to replace me...she's been doing my job, and her job for the past couple of weeks, so I'm going to go give her a break, and get my mind off things as well and just work!

I think it will give me a little piece of mind...just some normalcy.. I can't just sit here day and night.

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Good for you, Shayenne! I totally understand the need for normalcy! I've been doing this a year and a half now. I don't feel the need to go to my former work very much anymore (my three kids keep me busy enough at home), but I definitely did the first year. I needed the email and actual contact from my coworkers that first year. They were great to me. I'm a teacher, so I couldn't just pop in and teach a day- I had a long term sub in my class last school year. This school year, my teaching things have all been brought home so I don't actually have a classroom that is "mine" anymore, which felt weird to me. I don't talk to everyone there anymore, but I still communicate and see a good 7-8 teachers on a regular basis (every 2-3 weeks or so).

I like to think of myself now, after dealing with this a year and a half, as a "normal person who happens to have cancer". Even though it is still all consuming for me, I've made the transition to where I don't always think about it morning, noon, and night anymore & try to not talk about it as much to others unless I'm asked. It's not that I want to be secretive, I guess I've just gotten to the point of being tired of talking about it so much. That's with the people around me, I still get need of sharing about it with others by going to this discussion board. This is really a great place!

You take care!!!!
Lisa

fighting for mom's picture
fighting for mom
Posts: 96
Joined: Jan 2009

I am so glad for you! I know that my Mom does much better when she is at work- a more 'normal' routine for her. A busy mind and body keep her from thinking too much about what all she is dealing with.

What type of therapist are you? I am glad your employer is working with you - I know they are supposed to; but, in all reality they can sometimes make it pretty rough.

My mom has been feeling pretty bad the last few days- 2nd round of chemo last Tues/Wed. She is the Administrator of a long term care center and the annual state surveyors showed up today. She pulled herself out of that black fog and drove herself to work for 1/2 a day today! I was so happy for her. It got her out of the house and back in the world again.

Keep on with the good fight!

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

I work at the Pleasant Valley Hospital Wellness Center with several Physical Therapists, Speech Therapists, Occupational Therapists, and a Licensed Massage Therapist. There are only 2 of us secretaries for all them, and my supervisor has been doing my job plus hers, and I feel so bad, I really still want to help out, I don't want my whole life to just change and just sit home while my kids are at school, I just start thinking of the cancer alot then, and really feel better when I'm not alone. They said even if I had to be out for a few months, they would still make things work around me, they really are special, and have been waiting for me to just get my head together and see what me and the doctors were doing, and will work around me.

I Wonder if they even have cancer support group meetings, it be nice if maybe I could even set up some there, I'd love to meet people from around the area that are going through this with me.

fighting for mom's picture
fighting for mom
Posts: 96
Joined: Jan 2009

You are indeed an integral part of that department! I am an OT and you make our jobs run smoothly!!!

I know that you will be able to find that right balance between kids, work, and finding time for yourself to heal.

I live in a small town- but we have numerous support groups that meet. I think that you would be the perfect person to set one up- a good positive way to channel thoughts,etc.

fighting for mom's picture
fighting for mom
Posts: 96
Joined: Jan 2009

You are an integral part of that department! I am an OT and you make our job run so smoothly!

I know that you will find that perfect mix of time with your kids, work, and time to focus on your healing!

I live in a small town and we have numerous community support groups. I think you would be the perfect person to start a group- an excellent and positive way to channel your thoughts.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

I think that's great, Shayenne. I think that's been the hardest part for me since having cancer, trying to just be normal again. Hope it goes great for you!

*Hugs*
Gail

MoonDragon's picture
MoonDragon
Posts: 194
Joined: Jun 2005

Fantastic!! It really feels good to know you're missed and you need them as much as they need you. Just knowing they're there in the "normal" world and waiting for your return. I tell ya, my coworkers helped keep me sane and I was out of work for 8 months. They kept in touch with me, let me know they were thinking of me and always let me know what was going on in the office and that I was missed. I really needed that! Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

Jorie

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

I think that working is a very good idea! I was off work after my initial surgery (went in through er and had emergency surgery at diagnosis) for just a few weeks and went back before chemo started. I was able to work through almost 18 mos of treatment, off only for surgeries, with a somewhat modified schedule. I drove almost 1000 miles a week for my job (worked out of my car, really!) with a colostomy (tough in rural areas sometimes) and all the crappy Ohio weather! Sometimes working was tough. I am a firm believer that there is much more value in work than a paycheck, although that's nice too! The schedule, the self-esteem, the social aspect, are all important to my MENTAL health. Your physical health is impacted by your attitude and mental health. I worked until I just couldn't anymore.

Everyone is different and I know of many people who immediately quit work to focus on their health. They were able to spend 100% of their time healing and it worked for them. I would have spent much of that time feeling sorry for myself and working toward depression. Maintaining as much of my old life that I loved worked for me. You will find your way on this new path, your journey of a lifetime! Trust yourself. You know what is best for you.

Kimby

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

I wont' work full-time anymore. It was actually really nice seeing everyone again, they were surprised I went in there, but I feel great, and they got this other girl from our other office to just come in Tuesdays and Thursday nights for me, (those are the late days) and I don't mind working Wednesdays and Fridays, and every other Mondays, since my chemo will be every other Monday, they want to work with me, and working just a couple days a week did help my sanity abit, where I wasn't alone thinking of too many gloom and doom things. I'm much better around better, and they are friends. It's light work, and not too strenouse, and loads of beds in the backrooms if I need to lay down, thats for sure :)

The gym is right there, so I feel like I"m getting around and moving around more at work as well, and keeping active.

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