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Beginning to get a little nervous

Pat in Texas
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2009

Am recovering from surgery of the colon. I'm feeling pretty good physically but am beginning to be a little bit nervous about the next treatment stage, mainly chemo. I will go to my check up tomorrow.

captainhop's picture
Posts: 156
Joined: Dec 2008

Hi Pat.....We haven't gotten that far yet (surgery), but will be there very soon. In all that we've been through so far, ya know, I think it's pretty normal to feel a little nervous...But try this --- don't linger on what is to be tomorrow, or your next app't. ie: chemo, etc. Just live for the moment and today. Everyone has told us to take one day at a time and sometimes we have to take one hour at a time. It's very good advise.
If your mind starts wandering into the tomorrows or unknown, it's amazing how many awful things you can come up with, so try not to do that. STAY POSITIVE....TRY SMILING MORE OFTEN...SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR OWN SUNSHINE........

We've learned so much from this group and I know you will too. So, sweetie, leave tomorrow in the tomorrow mode....just concentrate on the NOW -- easier said than done????You betcha, but you can do it, I know you can.

Praying all goes well with you, along w/ a speedy recovery.

Marygale (Mrs CaptainHop)

Posts: 513
Joined: Nov 2007

I was - mostly about whether or not I would be allergic or something. Even though I had an unusally hard time - I am 17 months out and ned. And don't look back on it as a horrible time.

The chemo infusion itself was not bad at all - I had someone with me and I actually have some fond memories of the stories we shared and things we laughed about. Your chemo nurse - should be a great source of information for you.

It isn't fun, but most people get through it. Try not to be afraid and deal with whatever comes.

I hope you do really well with your chemo.


CherylHutch's picture
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Hey Pat!

Nerves are totally normal and to be expected before you start your chemo treatment plan! But that's just it... they are nerves and it's normal to be nervous. So you just tell yourself, "Ok, I'm nervous... but at this point in time, I'm not really even sure what it is I'm nervous about because I haven't gotten there yet... so let's save the nerves until a time when I can really use them and put them to use." :)

The reason I say that... right now you are getting upset over something you aren't even sure how it will affect you. Some people DO have a rough time with chemo... no doubt about it, and I would never make light of it. Others have an "ok" time, but would just as soon not repeat it because it was not a highlight in their life. Then there are others who worry and are nervous and the whole time they are on chemo they are waiting for the horror stories to begin. Before they know it, they are through their chemo and nothing was as bad as their imagination told them it would be. You will fall in one of those groups, or somewhere in between... but I'm betting that it will never be as bad as your imagination makes it out to be before it actually happens ;) Our imaginations are incredible... we can come up with truly wonderful scenerios... and, at the same time, can come up with horror stories that scare the ka-ka out of us. Reality usually has nothing to do with our wild, healthy imaginations :)

Soooo, take a deep breath or six. Think of a couple of things that you can prepare ahead of time. For example, you have no idea if you are going to be housebound and not able to get out and about or if you are going to be just fine and can continue doing your everyday activities. So, prepare for both!! I thought for sure that I probably would be way too sick to ever leave my apartment for the days I was on chemo, so I stocked up big time (to the tune of a lot of $$$) on scrapbook materials. I figured if I was going to be hanging around home, I'd at least have a good stock of materials and could get some scrapbook projects actually completed! I also bought some new, comfy pillows for my bed, with enough that I could stack them in such a way that I could sit up to read in bed (in case I found myself spending my chemo days in bed).

Ok... fast forward... the dreaded chemo started! I've got my scrapbook supplies, I've got my pillows, I have new stack of comfy pjs, both the light cotton and the warm flannel.. and then I waited for the horrid feeling to start... and waited... and waited. Oh sure, I felt more tired than I normally would, but nothing worse than if I stayed out too late at night (which is so not unusual for me ). It took about 3 cycles of chemo for me to realize that I was NOT having to stay at home... that I was out every day, every night at the theatre and actually took on the Box Office Manager position for a summer theatre group that was putting on two full musicals, alternating nights. And having fun with these theatre friends. Spending my days at the theatre office and my nights at the outdoor theatre (with dog in tow). Oh chemo days, I wore my chemo pump attached to whatever outfit with this ugly belt (I only owned one belt!)

Does everybody have the same experience as I did? Probably not. Some do, some don't, some have a nasty time, others a so-so time and others just keep waiting for the nastiness to begin and it never does.

Ha! Now I have this huge stock of scrapbook supplies and I'm still planning on catching up on some scrapping projects... really!!! :D



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