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Resolved - Who cares about statistics!!!

jcavanaugh
Posts: 100
Joined: Mar 2004

I was really depressed a couple of days ago when I found out that my dad's doctor said he might have 6-12 months to live and I came to the board looking for thoughts and prayers. You all are wonderful. I appreciate everything that you said. I am resolved to enjoy the time I have with him and not worry about the statistics. I still believe that he can be around for a long time and that we never know what is around the corner in terms of treatments and procedures. In May 2002, my dad had suregery to remove a tumor in his colon. We went in thinking it was not big deal, remove it and move on - probably did not even need chemo. We came out in shock. The surgeon told us he would maybe live 2 years and the last year would be really bad. Well, that was 6 1/2 years ago and he is still here. Not as strong as he once was but still the person that I know and love. So, I am resolved. I am not going to let this get me down. I agree and believe that only God knows the day and time that any of us will depart this Earth and that all of us have a purpose. Thanks so much for all your thoughts. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. One day we will have cure for this disease and I pray that it is just around the corner!!

Jennifer

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Jennifer,

That's the best New Year's resolution I've heard yet. Wonderful!

*Hugs*
Gail

kmygil
Posts: 881
Joined: Feb 2007

Exactly! We are all people, not statistics. Only God knows when we are going, so enjoy your Dad and enjoy your life! Prayers coming at you both!

Hugs,
Kirsten

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

Somebody needs to give that guy a swift kick in the behind! 2 years to live and the last one will be really bad! What was he thinking? Did he think he was helping anybody with that bit of "wisdom"? I agree with you, only God knows the number of our days and He will give us everything we need to get through those days and to carry out the purpose He has for us.
mary

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Jennifer.......do you have any idea what all can happen in 6 months or a year. There can be a cure, there can be new meds and there can also be new memories made. You are a very strong individual to resolve yourself to the answers you have...So, in that now you can forget all the bad and just enjoy the good....Look hun, we are all going to die, there is no way out from that. The only difference is when each of our time is up. There is only one Man that can determine that and He will let you know when He wants us. Your Dad might have 6 months and he might have 60 years...Its only statistics that the Drs go by. I don't operate on statistics, I operate on Faith. I will live as long as He wants me to and so will you, and so will your Dad. There are way to many survivors to not think that way. Plan trips, plan things out a year from now, 2 years from now, it gives you the euphoria that it takes to keep you and your Dad happy and Life going on as best as it can. Never plan for death, it eventually comes to everyone, but plan for life as you will be here forever, and include your Dad in those plans. You'll be surprised how good it will make both of you feel, and smiles do have a great healing power....So does Faith............God Bless you and Dad

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

HI Jennifer,
I like your attitude about not worrying about the statistics. As you're well aware, after your dad is still around long after the earlier "prediction", doctors certainly don't know everything! I wish doctors would keep their big mouths shut about making predictions as to how long we have left to live, unless they're directly asked their opinion.
Trust in the Lord, and He will sustain you all. Enjoy your dad! He may just surprise everyone and continue to stick around for a lot longer. As Buzzard (or someone) said, even in a mere six months, more treatments are forthcoming. The longer your dad is still here, the more likely another treatment and/or cure could be found.

Take care and God bless,
Lisa

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Ain't that the truth??? They know an awful lot, and for the most part, most of them are trained very well and have more training than you can shake a stick at. It's because they are highly trained that we tend to hang onto every word they say... but some will say words about things they can't possibly know! And for such smart people, you'd think they'd realize just how damaging their words can be.

For starters, it doesn't matter what walk of life one comes from, people are not totally ignorant. When they've been told they have cancer, and then they got through the treatments we have to go through... no matter how well or ill we are feeling, inside, not so deep down, we all know that some are going to make it and some aren't and we don't know where we stand in the big scheme of things but we know it could be either or. If one of our doctors explains to us the seriousness of the disease and what might happen because they've seen this in the past, well, fine... we only need to be told ONCE. And it wouldn't hurt to also tell us about those patients they've got who they thought should have passed on and continued living happy, healthy lives.

I was at my GPs today, to pick up some prescription refills. I also told him that the Ablation procedure that was scheduled for last Tuesday got cancelled and rescheduled. I told him I'm fine with all that, but I was not a happy camper when I first met with the Radiologist who is going to do the procedure. He basically gave the the story of how he had to turn 50% of the people referred to him away because they have multiple lesions/tumours in their lungs and he will only do the procedure if there is a possibility of a cure, or a way of extending a good quality life. He then said, "Of course, you know you are incurable and chances are the tumours will take over your lungs at some point". He made it sound like I was on my last legs... and that upset me. Took me a good 4 days to realize he's brilliant at doing the procedure, but has no doctor/patient skills whatsoever. But it took me 4 days to come to that conclusion after that consultation visit.

Well, my GP just shook his head. He says he doesn't understand these surgeons/radiologists/specialists who go tooting their own horn and pretending they know who is going to live and who isn't and for what reasons. They will be wrong 80% of the time!! He then went on to explain to me he has this patient. A big, male, a little older than me (he must be in his mid 50s or so) who was diagnosed with colon cancer, had the surgery, the chemo and then 6 months after the surgery, mets started showing up in his lungs. He has so many of them, it's impossible to keep track... it's as if someone threw two handfuls of hail into his lungs. He has been this way for 2 years and feels as fit as a horse. Any other specialist would have said that he should have died shortly after the cancer spread to his lungs... but the man doesn't have a cough, has no problems breathing, doesn't wheeze and too boot he's a big man, so it's not as if he's fit or anything.

So, take whatever doctors say about the prognosis of a short life, with a grain of salt... sometimes people die, we know that. But more and more are living just fine :)

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

MoonDragon's picture
MoonDragon
Posts: 194
Joined: Jun 2005

I'm glad you feel better! There really is no sense in worrying when we can't change it anyway!

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