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I have a PLAN

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I met with the medical oncologist yesterday afternoon. I like this guy a lot, BTW. He reviewed everything and concluded that yes, I am Stage 3 (because of the size and because it 'broke through the wall'), BUT he does not think the lymph nodes are involved. The one node in question is right next to the tumor and that can create a false positive result. Score one for us. So, the news is still not great, but it's a lot better than we thought last Friday.

The Plan is to see the radiation oncologist and the surgeon this week, then the treatments will start in about two weeks. I will get 5-6 weeks of concurrent chemo/radiation. Chemo (5-FU) will be via a port/pump, 24/7, so the hope is that the side effects should be minimized somewhat. Then I will rest for 4 weeks. Then the surgeon will do his magic. That will be the hardest, because of the tumor's location. Probably looking at colostomy, and most likely permanently. After another month's rest, I will start a 6 month chemo regime to kill any bad guys lurking anywhere, and to assure a low recurrence rate. So, we are looking at a tough year, but the end result is the word CURE. Dr Barnett used that word a lot yesterday. I have a doctor's appt today with my gastro doctor (the one who found this mess) He's going to be our Team Leader. He's my rock right now.

I have been handling this news OK so far, but this morning I just want to curl up and hide from the world. Thanks to all of you for being there for me. It means a lot.

Vicki

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

Vicki, I was in tears reading your comment about wanting to just curl up... I think we have all felt like that at times. This just SUCKS and can be tough at times! I am praying for strength for you to battle this beast and for you to soon be dancing with NED! Sounds like your team is going to be an awesome asset for you in this battle. Keep them communicating with you and with each other; it will help tremendously! You go girl and fight hard!
mary

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Vicki... this is a lot of news to digest, but it is excellent news! The fact that your doctor is throwing the "C" word around -- CURE -- that is worth doing a jig all the way through your treatments!! Yes, as you say, this next year is going to be quite the journey... been there, done that :) BUT, as someone who has been there, done that, let me tell you there are way more highs than lows... and your doctor is STILL talking that all of this is with CURE in mind. I would be dancing on the rooftops right now, singing in my loudest, most off-key voice... chances are slipping on the slippery roof shingles and falling on my butt on a cement sidewalk... so that would be a whole different set of treatments I'd need... but I would be laughing and rejoicing and making all my family and friends take me out for dinner and buy me sparkly gifts (grin).

Now.... here's what I advise (like who made me Queen Advice Girl???)... allow yourself to celebrate and rejoice. You now have a PLAN which is the best thing to have when fighting the beast... and don't look at it as, "OMG! A whole year of chemo, radiation, surgery, feeling like kaka, getting cranky, being so tired, fatigue, tears and anything else you can think that goes along that line. Look at it one day at a time. TODAY you got the news/plan... and it's now almost evening... today sure went ok :) There's a good chance tomorrow is going to be just as good... and Friday too... then it's the weekend! A few more days and you've already gotten through Week 1 of the next year :)

If you take it one day at a time... you are going to be very surprised to find that there are actually very few "Yuck" days compared to "Good" days... and in no time your treatments will be 1/3 finished, then 2/3's finished, then completely finished!!

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I am doing better tonight. I met with the gastro doc and he was prepared with a lot of instruction and help. Like I said, he's my rock. He has a top-notch colorectal surgeon down in Denver lined up for me. This guy has been named the top colorectal doctor for four years running. So I am not giving up hope on that front yet! Both the general surgeon (he's putting in the port) and the radiation oncologist have called and we have appts set - we are on a roll!
Rock on. I am ready to kick some ***!

Vicki

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Vicki,

Yes, CURE is a good word to be hearing!! A thought on the upcoming surgery, have you talked to your doctor or anyone else about sphincter saving surgery? If you haven't, definitely look it up online. Some doctors and facilities are better at doing it than others. Also, amazing things can happen during the chemo/radiation. I never needed the surgery (my tumor was also very close to my anus- just 3 cm up). My tumor COMPLETELY disappeared during the chemo/radiation. The gastroenterologist came in after giving me the flexible sigmoidoscopy and kept repeating, "there's nothing there- absolutely nothing!" Follow up biopsies on the area also showed absolutely no sign of cancer. Now- the rest of me was another story- I had a liver resection and am currently having more chemo for my lungs, BUT I was spared a surgery in which I would have also had a high probability of having a permanent colostomy. My surgeon beforehand told me she's do everything possible to save the sphincter, but couldn't tell me for sure until after surgery. Thankfully, I never needed it & they are just watching that area very closely. Now, I know a tumor disappearing like this is rare, but it IS NOT THE ONLY CASE I've heard of like this- it DOES HAPPEN! I actually have a friend (met through our in-common surgeons) and hers also disappeared. Some doctors will still do the surgery even if the tumor disappeared, but mine chose not to because of my high probability for a permanent colostomy & she didn't want to risk that with me if there was no sign of cancer there anymore.
Be encouraged- even if your tumor doesn't disappear during surgery, it likely will shrink down which will make surgery easier & hopefully can also lessen the need for a permanent colostomy.

Take care- miracles can and do happen!!
Lisa

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi again,
I just read over my post and noticed a typo- I wrote "even if your tumor doesn't disappear during surgery"... I MEANT "even if your tumor doesn't disappear during radiation..."
Sorry about the confusion.
Lisa

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

Yes, Lisa, I am seeing the specialist that my gastro doc recommended expressly because if anyone can save the sphincter muscles, he can. I accept that it might not be possible, but why not try? And they did tell me that the possibility of the tumor reducing to almost nothing exists, but the surgery will still be necessary because there will still be cells left in there somewhere.

I did curl up and cry, then I got up, called some friends and LAUGHED. I heard some great not-repeatable-here jokes today!

Thanks for all the support. I am only 13 days since diagnosis, but it sometimes feels like a year.

Vicki

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Hi vicki!

That's right...you just hang onto that word CURED! I am on the other side of that word--I have reached the "cured zone" and just about fell over when my colonscopy surgeon called me CURED 2 years ago. (I am 7 years out Stage III lymph pos zero mets).

I never allowed anyone to use to the word "remission" with me because I felt it was just asking for a temporary lapse in cancer. I went for the CURE!

As for curling up....yep, those days happen. Just make sure to uncurl quickly and get back at it!

I'm pulling for ya!

peace, emily

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

A plan is great! A cure is better! You can do this! Yes, you will have bad days. Days you want/need to curl up in bed. You always have permission to cry, yell, scream...what ever you need. You also have permission to HAVE FUN! No one ever mentions that part, but fun is not only allowed but encouraged. Laughter really does help. Take care of you, have fun and run for the cure!

Kimby

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I go to the surgeon in the morning, to find out when the port goes in. There is so much to process. Once the port is in I can start the chemo and radiation. I didn't think it would bother me this much. I am actually shaking. Does it get easier? And geez, I haven't even really started yet!

Vicki

pamness
Posts: 513
Joined: Nov 2007

Oddly enough, you get into a routine the radiation, chemo, surgery etc. For some reason, having the port put in makes it seem very real and scary but after your first treatment, at least for me, the fear dies off, and routine and fighting takes over.

Stage III colon cancer has a good cure rate these days. I was stage IIIA - two lymph nodes positive - (right next to the colon). I am currently 15 months ned.

All the best,

Pam

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

It helps that you all have been there, done that.

Vicki

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

Good luck tomorrow. It does get better. I had a small meltdown before the start of chemo and for the first few cycles but each lessoned and you do fall into a routine. You are not alone.

Kimby

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

On March 24th I was exactly where you are at now. The Pet scan and port was done 3 hours apart............yea...someone messed up scheduling a little, but all went fine. Port in, No problems at all with it. Started Chemo/Rad the next Monday and got them done 5 weeks of 5x a week rad and 24/7 chemo fanny pack (Radiation treatments are very fast or was for me in and out in less than 15 minutes from the time you get there, try to get them scheduled early as to not mess up your whole day.I could drop off my kids at school and then go directly to treatment...Surgery 5 weeks after...gave me a 30% chance of saving spincter muscle but tumor was to large (golf ball size when we started, small marble when we were done) and to get clear margins they had to remove my inner spincter,rectum,and I now have a brand new sigmoid ostomy and have no problems at all using or taking care of it. I had no lymph node involvement and the surgery was laproscopic which made it a lot simpler. Everything came out the bottom and no stomach muscles were cut open except for the small entry holes (5 of them ). 3 days and I was going home. Laid around for 5 weeks recouping and started post op chemo oxiliplatin/leucoverin/5fu...12 treatments every other week and I start #5 in the morning ( Monday).....5 days of nausea(slight) and back to normal. It seemed like yesterday and now im almost done...........hang in there, it will all be fine..........

menright's picture
menright
Posts: 258
Joined: Oct 2008

Dear Vicki:

I am still working on my plan. I received DX on October 17th and been tested 6-different ways to get to the PLAN. I think it will be much like yours. Chemo/Radiation (5weeks) Rest for 5 weeks and then followed by sugery. I think then there will be more chemo/Radiation.

Let's hope and pray we both find ourselves in this club of NED's.

Mike

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I saw the colorectal specialist today. What a great experience! (OK, that sounds weird!) But, after my bad experience with the general surgeon yesterday, this guy was a saint. He was kind, thorough and best of all, he gave me HOPE. He said there is a (very small) chance he can do reconstruction, IF the chemo/radiation shrinks the tumor enough, and IF my body can withstand it - meaning there is enough rectum tissue left to work with - and IF I decide that I want to try. Well, DUH. He also said I should not have to see any doctor I wasn't comfortable with and offered to put my port in himself. Unfortunately, his schedule is very full until next week, and I really need my port now, so we will go to Dr Doom for that minor procedure. Hey, I'll be drugged and won't have to talk to him. And he's a capable surgeon, just no bedside manner at all. Good Dr also said to forget "staging" - the only way to really know is when the surgeon goes in and removes the tumor and lymph nodes. Just keep thinking "Cure."

I have to say, he has turned my thinking completely around. Both he and his assistant explained everything to me, even things they aren't working with me on like radiation and chemo side effects. They gave me tons of stuff to read, and best of all, THEY LISTENED.

So - let's get this show on the road!

Vicki (who actually may sleep a bit tonight!)

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

My first surgeon was a great guy but no bedside manner and gave me the impression that it was gonna be all downhill. I thought to myself theres no way Im ever going to survive if his looks as he checked me meant anything. Never smiled or ever gave me a slightest notion that I was going to live or die. So, I went to Vanderbilt and man what a turn around...Gave me plenty of hope and even said that they liked seeing my type there because of the ability to return them to a long normal life........Talk about a sigh of relief.....Even God forbid I re occur at least he gave me the ability to have a future and to be able to actually plan things.

To Vicko and menright.....everything will be fine. The road seems long and arduous and it is but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it won't be a train. It seemed like yesterday that I was going to an appointment every day twice a day but now my life has slowed way down and just with post op chemo and almost half done I can hopefully say its almost over.....both of you will be there also sooner than you think. Just don't hold all hope for all great things to happen all the time. I tried to assume every appt. and every test result was going to be just great, I got let down a lot and it feels like you get kicked in the side so just take everything in stride and as it comes. It will be a ragged path that we follow but nonetheless a path to complete recovery and "NED" for life...Have faith and smile everywhere you go. Thats half the battle....God Bless ya both.

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

Your posts mean a lot. We have a very similar path, and (sorry to say for you) it helps that you are ahead of me and I know what to expect.

God's blessings on you. Vicki

impactzone's picture
impactzone
Posts: 538
Joined: Aug 2006

Having a plan gives you a direction and a possibility of cure. Its that old journey of 1000 miles begins with one step thing, I guess. Realize we are all rooting for you.
Blessings
Chip

menright's picture
menright
Posts: 258
Joined: Oct 2008

Dear Vicki:

I hope all is well in your treatment process. We are tracking on the same timeline. I just had my first Chemo treatment yesterday and now I need to determine what side effects will occur for me. The literature and list of possible side effects is daunting. So far I have minimal issues but I have just begun.

Good luck with your battle and keep in touch.

Mike

menright's picture
menright
Posts: 258
Joined: Oct 2008

Dear Vicki:

Since we are going through treatment at the same time, I thought I would check in to see how you are doing?

I hope the side effects are minimal.

They have me on a series of Chemo including Xeloda daily; Erbitux weekly and Oxypalatin(sp?) every 3-weeks.

The most cumbersome side effect is the cold sensitivity. I have not had a cold drink in a week and cannot go outside without hats and gloves. Tough time of year for this side effect.

Let me know how you are doing. We should connect with the other Mike, who is alos on our schedule.

Take Care,

Mike

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

You can see what I have been up to in the Nausea already? posts. Had a bit of a rough weekend, and had to have the port reset because of bleeding, etc. The tiredness (not quite exhaustion) is getting to me though...

How are you doing?

Vicki

Mike49 - where are you???

polarprincess
Posts: 210
Joined: Aug 2008

Hi, I am really confused as to why your doctor would say you are stage III just because it broke through the wall, if he does not think lymph nodes are involved. If there are no lymph nodes involved, you would only be stage II regardless of how big the tumor was. i really shake my heads at doctors sometimes, or am i missing something?

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

My information on staging is if it breaks through the wall but no lymph nodes involved it's IIIA, 3 or less lymph involved IIIB more than 3 lymph nodes is IIIC, and of course if it's metastasized to distal organs, it's IV.
mary

cindybob's picture
cindybob
Posts: 61
Joined: Aug 2004

Yeah, I was dx stage III because the bulk of the tumor was outside the wall, but no lymph nodes, thankfully. So I guess it was IIIA.
Cindy Bob

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

I agree with others...stages are determined by several factors. It's not as easy as looking at a chart and saying you fall under X. In my case, because the wall was breached, with or without lymph involvement, there is always a possibility that cells have migrated and I am likely stage 3. Until the surgeon goes in and actually digs everything out, it's the best they can do. I trust my doctors implicitly. They aren't using scare tactics, just trying for some realism for me so that we know how to attack.

Vicki

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

I opt for realism as well. I would much rather be told the possibilities and find out it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, than to be told it's nothing, then find out it was really bad. I know everyone is different, but i remember a survivor's meeting once where a man who had been told by his radiologist(what?!!!) that he had a brain tumor, only to find out later that it wasn't cancer. He was ALL freaked out about dodging the bullet, yada yada. My comment? There isn't a single person in this room that doesn't WISH someone would come back to them and say JUST KIDDING! No cancer, just a benign mass! So, while we all understand that it must have been traumatizing that you initially thought you had cancer, thank God it isn't cancer and get on with your life. No one else was willing to say it, but EVERYONE was thinking it!
mary

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

You have to know how much I love you! Thank you.

Vicki - who is just taking it a day at a time.

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

sometimes, you just have to be the one willing to say what everyone is thinking! I was never one to care too much what others thought, so ...
mary

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Good for you!!!
I've heard that famous 3-word phrase twice...EITHER time it would have been GRAND to be told..."JUST KIDDING!"!!!!

(I would have probably added..."And WHAT are you DOING at a CANCER SURVIVOR'S support group?????")

Hugs, Kathi

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

It takes a special kind of stupid and nerve to show up to a cancer survivor's group to complain about how tough you have it because someone told you had cancer then found out it was all for naught! I wouldn't be surprised if our moderator invited him SPECIFICALLY knowing I would be at that meeting! :)
mary

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

I think I've missed a post or something because I can't find the one where someone said they were diagnosed with cancer then told they didn't have it... unless you were just meaning the example of the man who was told he had a brain tumour and then later it turned out it wasn't.

I have a personal story regarding this... back in 2001 I was complaining about the usual female problems. Basically, I think I was just b*tching to my GP and told him my only complaint was the usual -- major cramps, mood swings, etc. and maybe I was peri-menopausal? He sent me packing off to the gyno who did a complete exam, including an endometrial biopsy. Lo and behold, the lab results came back two days after Christmas -- I had Stage II endometrial cancer! Eeeeek!! As with any diagnosis of cancer... terror, fear, confusion. They scheduled an immediate hysterectomy for this..everything coming out. Of course, with any kind of surgery involving cancer, they send samples down to pathology to get the real low down on what kind of cancer and staging, etc.

Oh oh... test as they might, they could find no evidence of cancer. Here I had just had a complete hysterectomy, taking out anything that wasn't nailed down and now they couldn't find any evidence of cancer??? But the biopsy results from the lab said "Stage II". Soooo, they backtracked right back to the lab and ... oops ... found a major boo-boo! My slides at the lab had gotten mixed up with another gal's, so I got her diagnosis and she got mine. I had this major surgery and didn't need it (meanwhile, she DID need it and so she was gotten in touch with immediately).

My GP came to my house to break the news (I was home from the hospital by this time). Before he told me, he said "I have some good news and bad news... and both are going to make you very angry, and that is totally understandable." The good news, of course, I don't have cancer... the bad news, I never had cancer so the surgery was unnecessary.

He was expecting me to get angry but all I could say was, "I DON'T have cancer??? Are you sure?? You aren't pulling my leg are you??" To this day I have never gotten angry about the mixup and subsequent surgery... I was just ecstatic to know I didn't have cancer (mind you, I would have had the tumour in my colon but at this point we didn't know this and none of the tests indicated I did... if only they had screwed up and done a colonoscopy at that time!!)

So, I agree... I don't understand why anyone would get mad because they are told that what was thought to be cancer turns out to not be cancer. That is a reason to celebrate, not get angry!!

Huggggs,

Cheryl

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

yes, the guy who showed up to my cancer survivor's group meeting freaked because he thought he had cancer then found out he didn't. And your response is EXACTLY what one would expect in such a situation. I just can't understand a person who WOULDN'T be relieved at finding out it wasn't cancer... and YOU, my dahling, would actually have reason to be mad... not at the no cancer bit, but the unnecessary surgery bit! But, you found reason to be thankful, and that is a very important aspect of happiness. Find HAPPINESS in everything instead of looking for the misery. Be thankful for every day we have to continue enjoying our loved ones and to find the purpose in our lives (even if it's only to be an example to others of what NOT to do, which unfortunately has often times been my purpose!).
mary

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Well, there was another reason to be happy... I was ECSTATIC that I didn't have cancer and that was worth having a few parties on it's own.. but once I got used to that, the surgery ended up being a blessing in disguise too. This all started because I was whining about the usual horrid monthly cramps, mood swings, etc. and now, I didn't have to go through them anymore either :) That surgery got rid of all my whining and complaining because I no longer was having the nastiness... AND I realized that I would not have to ever worry about getting those "female" type cancers. So all round it was an excellent experience.

The only downside to it was the absolute terror/fear of being told I had cancer (I knew nothing really of cancer before so just hearing the word was enough to put terror in my heart) AND, I did end up with a major post-op infection after the surgery. So, I did end up back in the hospital for 3 weeks because of the infection. Mind you, being told it was a mistake and I didn't have cancer made up for the terror of being told I had cancer... and the post-op infection? Oh well... with treatment and care, that got taken care of and I don't seem to be damaged from the experience ;)

So, one would think that when I was diagnosed 5 years later with colon cancer, I'd be an old hat with the announcement and the second time around would not be as bad when I was told than the first time. Wrong! I don't care how many times you are told you have cancer... each announcement is terrifying!

But yes... as horrid as this monster is, one has to find the good and there IS good in all experiences :)

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

Cheryl said "So, one would think that when I was diagnosed 5 years later with colon cancer, I'd be an old hat with the announcement and the second time around would not be as bad when I was told than the first time. Wrong!"

In 1994 I was told I had cervical cancer. It was all hush-hush, don't worry your little female head, we male doctors will fix you, etc. When I was sent to the surgeon/specialist, he told me he also found 'cancer cells in the uterus'. He said at the time they were two different cancers, and not to worry. I thought I was dying. I had a hysterectomy, plus the cervical surgery. The surgeon said he got it all, no radiation needed, etc. And I was sent home, never to be discussed again, by those doctors anyway.

Fast forward six years. I was living in Colorado by now and had a new doctor. The fact she was female didn't enter into it, I don't think. The fact she wasn't an older, good-old-boy-network doctor did. I had been having pap smears, etc every six to eight months, and living in fear of the results, since the surgery. When she asked "why?" I was confused. She then asked, "Didn't any doctor ever tell you that with the type of cancer you had, and the early stage, and the surgery, it CAN'T come back? The parts aren't there!" I was more relieved than I ever had been.

Now fast forward to October of this year and my colon cancer diagnosis. Having been down the road before did nothing to minimize those three words... the difference this time was the caring, concerned doctor and the complete dissemination of information about what was going on. I was involved in every decision. Actually, I MADE every decision, after they laid it all out. Yes, I was (am) scared, but now I feel in charge. It's a good feeling.

Thanks to all for the sharing. It helps a lot. Oh, and yes, my current cancer is unrelated to the other two. I am just lucky in the cancer lottery, apparently.

Vicki

trainer's picture
trainer
Posts: 242
Joined: Sep 2008

Hello again. I read your email about the cancer flubs and got to thinking about my own. I definitely had a cancerous polyp, which was removed in the colonoscopy. And because he thought it was too deep and expanded, I had to have a resection of the colon. But when the surgeon went in and could find the inked location where it was removed, no cancerous evidence could be found. They started out using the daVinci lap technique and in caution, decided to do the open technique and still couldn't locate any. The path results came back as no cancer. It completely baffled the surgeons. Either the gastroen. guy got it all, or God performed a miracle. Either way, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for the docs to come back and say they'd misread a report or results or something. But the ONC I went to explained it much better and I'm OK with it now. Still cautious and anxiously awaiting February when I go back for a PET Scan and blood work. But all are in agreement that it was gone from my bod. But when I was in the hospital in recovery and they told me the good news, I was dizzy with relief and just couldn't get over it. Every once in a while, it will hit me how close I came. But it's made me a believer and a cheerleader for screening. I'm taking my son in Monday for his first colonoscopy. My surgeon is going to do it. My son is 38, maybe a bit early, but the doc convinced the health insurance since I had it, it's prudent for him to get screened. And my daughter goes in in January.

So, I'm dizzy with relief for you and sorry you had to go through it. I never want to have surgery again, but I would. And if my surgery wasn't needed, it was worth the discomfort to know for certain that I'm NED. Or, NED the nag as I am now known to my friends for bugging them about it all.

Happy Turkey Day even though you don't celebrate it in Canada like we do here.

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Hi Vicki, I think many can relate to those feelings , if not all, to sometimes getting the feeling to just curl up and hide. I think thats pretty normal. Then somewhere, deep within, you find the strength to deal with things as they come and you get through it. Then , with the grace of God, you realize you made it through and your stronger than you thought you were. I'm betting that happens to you! Keep the faith. Take it one day at a time. You'll get there girl! Believe.
God Bless,
Diane

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