Sep 17, 2008 - 10:06 pm
Well a few months ago my husband went for his yearly physical and to his surprise the dr did a DRE and a PSA. Well at that time we a week later found out his PSA was 4.09 so the Dr said he wanted to do another PSA because sometimes a DRE can raise the PSA. So he had another blood test and his PSA was 4.53. So the Dr referred him to a urologist and requesteed a biopsy and ultrasound of his prostate. My husband went into shock. And was upset and scared because close family members have had Prostate Cancer.
So we went to the urologist and he said he was going to do a DRE and a fPSA test, if the fPSA was questionable he would need a biopsy and ultrasound. We were told to withstaine from sex for 4 days and biking or anything along those lines. Well mys husband then went into shock and was a rock. I actually had a conversation asking if it could be Prostititis or anything like that. The Dr abruptly said NO. During all this my husband actully heard nothing. He later after we were outside broke into tears. He was adament that he was not having a biopsy and ultrasound. He knew how it was done and was scared of how it would feel and the imbaresment. Well friends came over and we all said if it has to be done he had no choice. And I said I would see if I can be in the room when it is done for support (he is only in his late 30's).
Well on Monday I called the urologist office to see if the results were in and was told yes. They verified who I was and told me the numbers and that the Dr signed off on a biopsy and ultrasound to be performed because of the results. Now hopfully someone can explain these numbers because I see men with low and have Pc so it is a bit confusing. Numbers:
fPSA 5.09 (rise from last 2 tests)
Now not an expert but I was told "they indicate a biopsy is NEEDED" So guess who had to break the news. Ran through the senerio in my head. How do I tell him? and when is a good time? well never a good time and I decided to just tell him the bottom line.
So I sat him down in the bedroom alone and said "I Love you alot. I got the blood test results and I was told some numbers but was told that they indicate a biopsy is a must". He went blank and asked what his PSA was so I said 5.09. He broke down amd I held him and let him know that I was told I can be there when it is done. And his reaction was "I would not go no matter what if you could not be there in the room with me." I told him I have a date but it is not till some time in October and would let him know closer to the date when. That way it is not weighing on his mind and he is not doing the "count down".
I tell you it was the hardest thing I ever had to say to him. but I was prepared for his reaction and knew how to say it. I did it with compation and love. A dr just spits it out and he does not like that. He just goes into shock and shuts down. Dr's just do not know how to relate news to their patients after awhile. They just spit it out and some can not handle that and my husband is one.
Well now since I told him he is saying he does not want to see the specialist just to be told what I already did. And he does not want to hear it from him because he finds the Dr really cold-hearted and would rather I told him even for future results. He does not want to discuss his problem with ANY of his family cause they just work him up and scare him more, even when they tell him what has happened to them. So he will only talk to family and friends that are close to him. The rest he said can wait till he starts seeing an oncologist.
Now what do I do? He really does not want to see the Dr. I have contacted a Cancer support center in my city and they are trying to help me. He will not go yet to talk. He wants me to go to the appointment and talk to the Dr and tell him after. He just said "I will go for tests, have treatments and see a onocologist but I do not want the results to come from the Dr's. I can not handle the way they relate it."
So now what? Will the Dr even talk to me? How can I get him to?
Sorry this was so long.