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So, here's the story

Sandi1's picture
Sandi1
Posts: 278
Joined: Aug 2008

Ok, so here's the story - it's been 11 days since my husband has had his colonscopy and we found out that he has colon cancer. We still have not been able to get into to see the surgeon because he is on vacation. The doctor that did the colonscopy called my husband to let him know they got the results of the ct scan back and there are abnormalities on his liver. So, now we have two things to worry about and no answers. Each day is getting more and more difficult, I did not get anything done at work today. My husband is still working - he says we both have work to do and we have to do it and get it done. I don't know how he does it - he's the one who is sick and i'm the one doing all the worrying. I'm sick to my stomach all the time, and when I do feel good and realize it I feel guilty because ... well just because. I'm constantly asking my husband if he feels ok and that I love him. And when he is not feeling good it takes everything I have to tell him that i'm sorry and he'll feel better soon. I'm so confused, I don't know how to handle these feelings. I used to be a strong woman, then I met my husband and he did everything for me - now I don't know if I could even look after myself and my son if anything happened to him. I know I definitely cannot keep the house, I don't even make enough to pay the mortgage. Oh god, i'm in a bad way and I need to keep positive for my husband, I don't know if I can do it.

sladich's picture
sladich
Posts: 430
Joined: May 2007

How awful. No one should have to wait this long. Stay strong and be there for your hubby. He'll need your strength to lean on. I'll be sending positive vibes. Keep us posted.

Debbie

chynabear's picture
chynabear
Posts: 483
Joined: Jul 2005

It's ok to be scared. It is scary being faced with our own mortalities and that of our loved ones. Take a deep breath and understand that what you're feeling is probably pretty normal.

I am sorry you and your husband are facing the "C" word. You have found a great network of new friends to ask questions, vent, and share your fears.

You will also find that many here have successfully fought the beast at all stages of the disease. Please know that even if the cancer has spread, it doesn't have to mean the end.

Please remember that you are your own best advocate. It is a great idea to have further teasting, even second and third opinions. If I had to do over, it would be gathering more information before I began my treatment. Instead, I rushed into surgery, and have luckily been fine so far nearly 4 years out.

Just remember, as long as there is a breath... there is a chance.

My prayers go out to you at this time.

Patrusha
Posts: 488
Joined: Jun 2006

Hang in there and try to wait for the results. I, too, had some liver shadows that turned out to be cysts and nothing more. Sorry you have to be here, but you've found a good place to let your hair down!

pamysue's picture
pamysue
Posts: 105
Joined: May 2008

You can get through this. You are strong, you said so and you still are. You will do what you need to do to get your husband and son through this. Remember to take time as a caregiver and to look to support for caregivers also.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

I know how scared you must be. Try to hang in there and lean on your strong husband. I hope that you will get better news from the surgeon than you think.

*hugs*
Gail

Kanort's picture
Kanort
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Sandi,

I am so glad that you found our board so early in your journey. You will get enormous support and invaluable information here. Come often!

The fact that you are able to express your feelings is in your favor. Once your have more information, you might want to go to a cancer support group in your community. I know it helped me, and I made lifelong friends in the process.

The waiting is the worst. Try to visualize and believe in the best possible outcome for your husband. That is my wish for you and your family.

Hugs,

Kay

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