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I am so scared

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2008

My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer yesterday. The PET scan shows there may also be cancer in her colon. The doctor told her the lung cancer is the type that responds well to chemo. It is small celled, which I have heard is a godo thing. The tumor is about the size of a lemon.

She visits with her oncologist Wednesday to find out who much chemo she will need and how often.

I'm not sure what I am looking to accomplish here, but I need an outlet. She is scared even though she is putting up a brave front. I guess I just needed someone to listen. I was so angry yesterday when my mother told me. And now I cannot seem to stop crying.

I know it isn't, but it feels like her death sentence.

Anonymous user (not verified)

pilem, first of all, let the tears come. They are not a sign of weakness, but an escape valve which keeps us from exploding under too much pressure.
You are going to gather your resources in time and be able to do what needs to be done (as will your grandmother and the rest of the family), but it takes some work. You will find that you are capable.

Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2008

Crying feels so good soemtimes! I wish her a speedy recovery, Its a tough road but having someone like you helps. It's probably not a front- I bet she is very brave, and so are you. You just didnt know how brave until now. :)

Posts: 288
Joined: May 2003

I think you found a good outlet to vent. People here are cancer survivors or caretakers, understand what you are going thru and will listen and give you a hand.

A diagnosis of cancer is scary and brings out all kinds of feelings. All of this is normal and we go thru different stages such as fear, anger, sadness, worry, etc. Just don't lose hope.

Your grandmother may be scared (normal) and may be putting up a brave front for all of you, perhaps she has chosen to become a warrior. After she is in treatment, she will need your support. It isn't easy but you'll find strength in yourself that you didn't know you had.

As scary as it is and even if it feels like a death sentence to you, don't give up on hope!!

You can vent here in the discussion boards or you can go to the survivors chat room. Most people are very nice and willing to help.

You and your grandmother will be in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers,

terato's picture
Posts: 383
Joined: Apr 2002

Back in 1980, when I was first diagnosed, My malignancy even metastisized to the lymph nodes on the inside of my spine. I really thought I was a goner, but 26 years later, I am still here! Sure, I get regular tumor markers (with a few scary false positives. Yikes!), occasional MRIs, colonoscopy's, and other expensive tests, but I have outlived every member of my immediate family, including my younger brother, who committed suicide. I cried a lot, usually over chilled vodka, which only made me feel worse.

Sometimes, those we worry about the most, outlive us, regretting that we worried about them so much when they were alive.

Love and Courage!


Posts: 33
Joined: May 2008

Pilem: I agree with others, let the tears come. I have been holding mine in for my husband for 7 months to be strong for him, but it is causing a lot of physical harm to my body. Don't let that happen to you! Be strong and know it is okay to cry also. It also helps to be informed. Once you know more about cancer, the less scary it becomes. Warm regards, ~Melanie

Posts: 42
Joined: Jun 2008

Ther is no right or wrong response. Your Grandmother has to go through this, emotionally,as best as she can. It is great to have the family around as a support mechanism. I did the freak out dance, the pity party, the crying, the denial, and now the acceptance. I am mustering up the strength to accept it (I have stage IV non small cell, not curible). We all learn that we can only accept what is dealt and face it fighting. Good luck to you and your family.

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