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a little better

Denise1966's picture
Denise1966
Posts: 91
Joined: Mar 2008

Darn these chat rooms, I wish they were working. I know I freaked out yesterday after the surgeon. For what reason, I'm not sure. But thanks for trying to ease my worries and concerns. I guess just the thought of another test (eus) to tell me more about this monster, sent me for a loop. my CEA came back within normal range, my ct scan was clear (but for this area) the colonoscopy biopsy took 5 samples and 4 came back negative, I guess the thought of another test that has a chance of giving me another let down sent me spinning. I'm sure the surgeon is trying to take every precaution and not hastily jump into anything. He wanted to do this test first of all to see where this starts (location) he said it is about 13 cm up in the rectum and then check the lymph nodes for involvement. He also said, I have had this for about 6 months to 1 year. (not sure if this is good or not).

The thought of the chemo/rad treatment sent me over the edge. This morning I'm a little more focused on getting better and doing what I have to do rather than just my scared feeling. He also let me know he would be doing the surgery laporoscopally(sp?) and there would be some pain involved for the first 2-3 days after. I guess I'm just a wimp.

I have always had to know everything in detail and now I come to this (the unknown)at least for a few more days. Anyway, thanks for reading and giving me support through this craziness. I will try to keep my head on straight. Hope everyone has a great day!

nudgie's picture
nudgie
Posts: 1482
Joined: Sep 2006

Hello and good morning. This journey you are now taking will be part of your life from this point on and you will always being on this road (journey).

It is normal to freak-out, be in spin or loop, whine, cry, whatever outlet you have take it. I think I hold the crown on being the WHIMP :) . I don't know how many times I cried, yelled at my chemo nurses, freaked out about every symptom and of course drove my Onc Doc nuts :)

This is natural and some are used it, but other are not.

During this journey you will be getting tests done and at times, you want to YELL, I have had enough, stop poking me, testing, etc, but in the back of your scrambled mind, it is telling you this is best :)

We will be here to help, listen and lend a hand in every step of your journey, but during this new journey, remember to stop once in awhile to smell the roses, run through the grass in bare feet and enough the puffy clouds in the blue sky :)

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Denise, Good luck with it. Try to hang in there and not freak too badly until you know what's going on. You sound like me-I drive myself crazy with wanting to know and know right NOW!

Denise1966's picture
Denise1966
Posts: 91
Joined: Mar 2008

By the way, I'm also PMSing through this right now, so that really doesn't help either!

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Aw, dearheart, and here I freak you out, as well! I wish I could take back my reply....I was acting out of concern when you said the surgeon wanted to do the surgery in 2 days....but all I can do is say: All of these tests are to determine the best course of action. This cancer thing turns everything upside down, and you need to listen, and made as feel good of choices as you can, based on what the doctors say.

This EUS is non-invasive...and is just another test to help with the diagnosis and treatment plan.

BIG hugs, Kathi

Moesimo's picture
Moesimo
Posts: 1080
Joined: Aug 2003

It sounds like you docs are ordering all the appropriate tests.

Take a deep breath, we have all been there.

A second opinion is usually a good thing, make sure that you are seen at a major cancer center.

Have you been seen by an oncologist yet? If you have rectal cancer usu. there is chemo and radiation befroe surgery.

Maureen

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Don't apologize for freaking out ! Venting is one way of coping and once you get through that you generally feel better. Keep good thoughts and we'll send good thoughts and prayers! God Bless
Diane

pamness
Posts: 526
Joined: Nov 2007

sounds like your doctors are right up on top of things, try not to freak out. Things don't sound too bad. Even if you do need chemo, etc. you will probably fine. I Colon cancer in general is slow growing, I don't know the time frame but yours doesn't sound too bad. I hope it all turns out well.

blueadept
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2008

*hugs*
They have scheduled my surgery for the 8th, remember, you aren't alone in this (although I don't have the pms no matter what my ex says)

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