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Joined: Oct 2003

I have had cancer 3 times and now I have skin cancer and I refuse to be cut on or anymore treatments , everyone says I'am being really not fair cause I'am giving up, I would like to know what you all think. I'am a grandmother also.

CharlieB's picture
Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2004

During my 2 year stint as a hospice social worker, I met countless individuals who chose to stop or forgo additional treatments. Some, particularly those of strong faith, were tired of the battle and hoped their decision would hasten the inevitable and bring a timely end to physical pain and/or the torment of deep emotional suffering.
The decision to forgo treatment is extremely personal. Nevertheless, no person is an island unto themselves. The decision you make in this regard will impact your friends and family in profound, lasting ways. I offer the advice I gave all of my patients - engage in open, forthright discussion with your friends/family regarding your thoughts. This will not be easy, but you and they will be ultimately glad for it. (Please read The Elephant in the Room at http://www.walkthroughlife.com/personal/pqv/poem/elephant.htm) Even if they ultimately disagree with your decision, they will at least have had the opportunity to process with you and have the opportunity to better understand your position and feelings. Remember, the best communicator is a good listener. Listen intently, keep eye contact. Ask questions if you do not understand. Then, respond.
Thus said, I feel compelled to offer a disclaimer. The aforementioned assumes a poor prognosis. You shared little about your diagnosis and nothing of your prognosis. There is an enormous difference between those with a fair/good prognosis who decline treatment and those with a poor prognosis who decline treatment. Are you receiving or have you considered counseling? Whether or not you decide upon treatment, counseling will help you come to terms with things and go a long way in treating your emotional pain. Blessings to you, my friend.

dinklebod's picture
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2002

I too am a melanoma survivor. I thank God for each day I am given. You didn't say what type of cancer they are removing now. As a melanoma survivor, I panic every year on the anniversary of my diagnosis (no recurrence of the melanoma but I still panic). Every little spot I see that looks abnormal I try not to look like a whinning baby running to the doctor, but he has found basal cell carcinoma's and I have had them removed. I don't want another round of malignant melanoma. I want to live to be a burden to those wonderful children who put me through some rough times, I want to share life with my grandchildren who I would not get to know on a deeper and personal level every day, I want to be a drain on the system and earn my social security if it is still around when I am ready to stay home. An ounce of prevention allows us to experience life, family, friends and faith. I hope when you are making your decisions you are not only thinking of yourself but of those who love you as well.

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