TIME TO TAKE A BREAK

spongebob
spongebob Member Posts: 2,565
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
OK... I've been away for a pretty long time. I came back to find way too much gloom and doom posing and decided to lighte n things up a bit!

http://beboframe.com/FlashFrame.jsp?Size=S&FlashBoxId=3309347442

Yes, we are all here to seek and or give advice and cheer each other up, but PLEASE - let's not limit ourselves to just bummer talk - there is a lighter side to just about everything that we need to share as well!

If I may be so bold, I honestly think the main reason I have been away from the board - and old timers know that I have been a daily contributor here for about 5 years now - is because there are so many strangers wanting so much attention.

I realize we're all strangers when we first come to the board, but, sheesh! Share a little bit about yourself - more than just your drama!! We ALL have drama. If we want anonymous drama, we will flip over to the Soap Network. Share some of YOURSELF! The board here is so anonymous and such a safe place, there's no harm in opening up some.

The other reason I have pulled back is because when I and other do offer "help", people suck the life out of it and then just disappear. Not that any of us are craving a thank you or anything, just some feedback and a connection. I don't think that's asking too much!

If you want to suck the life out of a board - and I'm not really addressing these thoughts to anyone in particular - then go over to a gloom and doom website and suck the life out of them. If you want to be upbeat, positive, and have a fighters spirit that we can all support and encourage - and then YOU provide support and encouragement to others versus just being on the "receiving" end - then stick around and let's get to know one another.

The Colon Cancer Board is one of the MOST active boards at CSN. It is also - hands down - the most positive and upbeat board you will find anywhere that deals with colon cancer. So many great friendships have been forged here in the fire of CRC. That's the great attraction. That's why were here! GIVE and take!

Lighten up and laugh at this damn disease lest we all begin a downward spiral tat we can't stop.

(oh boy... I'm gonna hear about this...)
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Comments

  • kbienapfl
    kbienapfl Member Posts: 61
    Hello SpongeBob!!! Yikes...I hope you are not referring to the likes of me. I have been on the board for about a year, but it hasn't been until recently that I have been actively participating.

    I have been trying to contribute on subjects that I have personal experience with. I do have questions that I ask as I am going through a new journey with treatments, etc.

    A bit more about me. I am an active, positive woman trying to survive 'incurable' rectal cancer. If you would like a link to my CaringBridge site, you will learn more about my personal journey and my positive attitude.

    I guess I don't post 'just to hear my voice' as I figure I'm really not that interesting. Although, my friends and family think I'm quite amazing.

    What more would you like to learn about me? Can I answer an questions for you?

    I enjoy your humor. I will do my best to become more involved in the daily banter. Generally, it's just not my style.

    Thanks for the post. We all need to vent and communicate every now and then.
  • NWmom
    NWmom Member Posts: 80
    Ok, I'll bite. Though we have been on the board for almost a year now, I feel that this was directed at me as well, (maybe just because I posted recently) though I don't think I have been a life-sucker or gloomy gus. In fact, most of our posts (Carls and myself) have been fairly positive as overwhelming positivity is the only thing that has carried us on this journey. And fortunately, that is the only way that Carl lives his life- being utterly - to a fault- positive. I did introduce us at the beginning, but if you need that info again, here goes.... Carl and I are 36. He was dx w/stage IV w/mets to liver in Oct. 06. We have 2 daughters aged 11 and 9. I am a stay at home mom and Carl works for a large computer company. We live in Washington in a town near Portland Oregon. Carl likes to flyfish and bike(road) and will be riding in the Lance Armstrong Livestrong ride in Sept., even though he only stopped chemo 8 weeks ago. That's pretty positive, don't you think? I did want to say that this happens to be the only support group we have as there are none in our area so we come to this site everyday for info, etc. I have noticed, and this is only my opinion, that those of us who are "newer" seem to not get responses from those who have been on the board a long time. (This is NOT a blanket statement about everyone) But, it has made us feel like there is some sort of "in the know" crowd and we aren't part of it. I am not trying to tick anyone off, this is just a personal observation. We would love to get to know everyone on this board- new or old, but sometimes that is hard when you can't get correspondence or a conversation going. We want to be a part of something that includes everyone and also is a positive place to come to for information and support.

    God Bless,
    Heather and Carl
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    Georgie,

    I'd suck the life out of you any day.

    oooh, did I say that out loud?

    Elaine

    My apologies for any rude or insulting comments made by my alter ego. Apologies especially to Katie. Although, I'm sure none are needed. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
  • valeriec
    valeriec Member Posts: 348
    SB-
    Gosh, have I missed you!! 15 months ago when I joined this amazing group, you were one of many who helped me and my family so much. I hope I did not "suck" too much from you because your star pupil-me-will soon be starting another Spanish class and I'm sure the emails will be flying!
    Love to you and Katie-
    God bless-
    ValerieC
  • betina61
    betina61 Member Posts: 642
    Hi Sponge Bob! Is nice to have you back,we always miss you,but I really don't understand so much your post, maybe as English is my second language I don't get the point,one thing I can tell you, I visit this site everyday, and if I don't post more often is because I am on the shy side, but I see you all as my extended family and a I care for everyone of you, you have the gift of being funny,and a very uplifting person, and we all need people like you on this site.So continue coming here because we need you.Lots of hugs for you and Kathi
  • IzzieCat
    IzzieCat Member Posts: 56
    I hope that post was't directed at me, either. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago, as Stage 3. I posted a few times last year, and did participate in a "give and take" exchange of support. Since then, I stop by often and read what is going on. This past March, I found out that I have liver mets. Went through 2 SirSpheres treatments, and am now looking at more chemo, this time with CPT-11. I'm scared to death of that drug, from what I've read of it....I posted to ask what, if any, experiences others have had on this drug. I also responded to another poster about staying positive while fighting this disease. So, I don't post every day, but I do post. Sometimes the topic of a post is something that I can't answer myself, so I don't. I don't see anything wrong with that. I am sorry SB, if I have ruffled any feathers..... My intentions are good, I promise! :-)

    Mary.
  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565
    Hey everybody! thanks for your responses... like I said in my post, I wasn't really directing my comments at any one person or persons in particular. I am glad to see that some folks have posted - and, YES!, I am very interested in knowing more about the people who are here. It's funny, but probably the people who do respond to my post are the ones least likely to have prompted it.

    Sorry I sort of vented there - I dearly love this board and the many great folks who come here. I appreciate the opportunity to communicate candidly with folks and maybe help them and possibly lift their spirits at the same time.

    Thanks for the notes and I'll see you tomorrow (that's "manana" Valerie - if I'm not around Betina, mi amiga de Florida, can hook you up!)... as for you, Barb, don't you need to go swimming or somethong [sic]?!

    No ruffled feathers!

    Have a GREAT day everyone. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

    = Sponge Bobby McFarren
  • fedester
    fedester Member Posts: 753
    hey bob,
    as always great to hear from you.
    be safe my friend.

    never,ever give up!!
    bruce
  • apache4
    apache4 Member Posts: 272
    spongebob said:

    Hey everybody! thanks for your responses... like I said in my post, I wasn't really directing my comments at any one person or persons in particular. I am glad to see that some folks have posted - and, YES!, I am very interested in knowing more about the people who are here. It's funny, but probably the people who do respond to my post are the ones least likely to have prompted it.

    Sorry I sort of vented there - I dearly love this board and the many great folks who come here. I appreciate the opportunity to communicate candidly with folks and maybe help them and possibly lift their spirits at the same time.

    Thanks for the notes and I'll see you tomorrow (that's "manana" Valerie - if I'm not around Betina, mi amiga de Florida, can hook you up!)... as for you, Barb, don't you need to go swimming or somethong [sic]?!

    No ruffled feathers!

    Have a GREAT day everyone. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

    = Sponge Bobby McFarren

    I am kind of new to the board and have enjoyed everyone's help and comments. I try to answer anyone's questions that I feel I have some personal experience with. The reality of this experience is that it is not all pretty everyday and I think that is why sharing these parts of our stories is valuable for all of us. We know we are not alone with our feelings and reactions to meds. As to learning more about us, I thought that is what the personal pages are for. Just to be upbeat, I am Stage IV, a ton of liver mets and dx.6/6. Surgery and 16 rounds of chemo later I am stable and on a chemo break and still doing Taekwondo! I am a Purple Belt and have advanced two belts since this started. I just can't spar because of my port. I also work part-time at our Women's Shelter as this is another passion of mine...counseling these ladies (been there!) I have two great kids and five grandchildren...check out my Taekwondo photo...it was taken in May...I am no youngster...63 proud years of age.
  • alta29
    alta29 Member Posts: 435
    Hi sponge !!
    You also help me a lot when I first started here almost 3 years ago...Same as Betina, because english is my second language ( probably none of you knew because of my perfect spelling and proper use of verbs....hummmm you should hear my puertorican accent too! )but like some people said some of us are shy ( ??? ) or can't not say the right words....you have no idea how many times a have started a sentence and then I will erase it all....but as you know not all of us are as strong as others...and we/they/us etc kind of always want/need to hear from the "experts".....but a shake up is always good, because we really don't need to think about this beast all day....we need to stay positive and share the other part of our lives....
    Thanks again for stop making us feel petty ( did I pronunce it correctly ? ) about ourselfs tonite
    God bless
  • Faith4Cure
    Faith4Cure Member Posts: 405
    Hi SpongeBob. I come to this site everyday. Sometimes I go away feeling pretty depressed after reading the posts, but I can't expect everyone here to be upbeat after all they are going through. I am the caregiver, so sometimes I feel that I am not worthy of giving advise on something that I have not experienced myself. I am not full of information like some of the members are. Some of you seem to know each other so well. I'm sure some of us feel like outsiders. I wish my husband and I could come to the palooza to meet all of you but that is not possible for us this year.

    I do know that when I first came to this site, you along with many other members were so encouraging and made this battle for my husband and I so much easier. I really appreciate your input. I have missed reading your posts recently.

    I know that even though my husband has competed his treatments, and hopefully will not have any more treatments, that this will always be a part of our lives. I don't intend on sucking the life out of everyone here and then leaving after things seem to be looking up. I would like to think I will be able to offer something to someone every now and then. Though I may not always post, everyone is always in my thoughts and prayers.

    Faith
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Aw, dad....we love you! And I have missed you. BUT I understand burn-out, too...sometimes things ARE a bit bleak...but, it's 'old timers' like you that get us thru...
    I have been a bit over the top lately between all my stuff...hey, finally went to Europe in the summer without any disaster happening! YEA!

    I will try to increase my 'happy stuff'...sometimes LIFE just gets in the way!

    BIG hugs to you and the missus...and will I "See you in September"? (Colonpalooza, of course!).

    Hugs, Kathi
  • rmap59
    rmap59 Member Posts: 266
    WOW, I guess I am a sucker. I was dx in April, stage 3 rectal, and have ask many questions about treatment, side effects, etc. People have been kind enough to respond as I have responded to some of them when I feel like I have knowledge to help them, I am new at this so still pretty stupid. I know what you mean by
    the gloom and doom cause it can be gloomy for us greenhorns. This forum helps me and I hope that I can help someone in the future. I am 47, was very active, hope to be again and I am a Tennessee Country Girl from the Great Smoky Mountains and proud of it. I also love Jesus and he loves me and you. I like your humor so keep on keeping on. God Bless All, Robin
  • hopefulone
    hopefulone Member Posts: 1,043
    Welcome back Bob. Heres' some things from the lighter side.. My german shepard puppy has turned into the dog from hell LOL (she also refuses to pee outside) and since she's a little "nipper" , my arms look like I give daily blood withdrawals and I can actually see the horns protruding from her head. I now understand why Bob, my husband, is so anxious to go back to work after 2 days on his chemo week . He doesn't want to stay home with the dog from hell and it's more restful there lol. I caught a "minnow" the other day when I went fishing ( they look much bigger under water so I thought I had caught a "big" fish, Oh yeah, and we went to the horse races at Saratoga and didn't lose my shirt , as I generally do at the casino, but merely a sleeve or two!(so it was a good day) Told my daughter, I "only "lost 30 dollars and she said that's "GREAT FOR YOU MOM!". We all have our good and bad days. It's important to be reminded of the good ones! Keep the faith and keep smilin! . Diane
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313
    Thanks Bob. I think you've said what a lot of us have felt. I've not posted too much anymore because of so much gloom and doom, but more than that....some folks ONLY post for themselves and NEVER give encouragement, support or anything in return to anyone else. Sometimes when we lose that Me, ME, ME attitude, we can open up and smell the roses. Giving to others also opens up others to give back to you!!

    You are also correct in that we have all had our own drama. Sometimes I get pretty sucky news from the doctor too....I'm certainly not ready to throw in the towel.

    Thanks for the eye-opener.

    Kerry

    P.S. Now, does anyone have a good joke??
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876
    spongebob said:

    Hey everybody! thanks for your responses... like I said in my post, I wasn't really directing my comments at any one person or persons in particular. I am glad to see that some folks have posted - and, YES!, I am very interested in knowing more about the people who are here. It's funny, but probably the people who do respond to my post are the ones least likely to have prompted it.

    Sorry I sort of vented there - I dearly love this board and the many great folks who come here. I appreciate the opportunity to communicate candidly with folks and maybe help them and possibly lift their spirits at the same time.

    Thanks for the notes and I'll see you tomorrow (that's "manana" Valerie - if I'm not around Betina, mi amiga de Florida, can hook you up!)... as for you, Barb, don't you need to go swimming or somethong [sic]?!

    No ruffled feathers!

    Have a GREAT day everyone. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY

    = Sponge Bobby McFarren

    Hi SpongeBob!

    I hear what you're saying. I am guilty of a lot of gloom/doom, but I also try to be positive and give positive advice based on my own experience.

    However, YOU have been one of my favorite posters, as you are always positive, funny and hopeful. I will try to do better.

    In the spirit of doing better, here are tidbits. I am 50 years old, married and fortunate to still have my job after the last year. My workplace has been awesome. I live in Georgia which is going through record heat and drought this year, so last week I did a combo Naked Happy/Rain dance. Yes, my colonoscopy came back clear as did the biopsies, so I am NED at this time. I have a CT scan next month and hopefully nothing will light up.

    I always said that I wanted to see the Grand Canyon before I died, and my husband and I are now planning the trip. Also, I wanted to create one more CD of my music, and I now have the equipment AND the energy to make that happen.

    So those are the positive things happening for me, and I am grateful to everyone who listened, gave advice & encouragement. I am grateful for the GREAT wits to be found on this site (yes, that means you!), and I am grateful for every day.

    Love ya!
    Kirsten
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248
    Bob -

    It's good to see you back - I sent you an email.

    Lest anyone get so wrapped up in your message (lecture?), I hope those who haven't seen it check out that fantastic dressage video. I've seen it before, but I love it every time. When Jenn (my daughter) did dressage, I was in awe watching her (and of course she was NOTHING remotely like this!). An amazing sport which shows an amazing connection between human and horse.

    In another life, I would be a horse person!

    Take care,
    Betsy
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610


    Love is but the song we sing,
    And fear's the way we die
    You can make the mountains ring
    Or make the angels cry
    Know the dove is on the wing
    And you need not know why

    C'mon people now,
    Smile on your brother
    Ev'rybody get together
    Try and love one another right now

    Some will come and some will go
    We shall surely pass
    When the one that left us here
    Returns for us at last
    We are but a moments sunlight
    Fading in the grass

    C'mon people now,
    Smile on your brother
    Ev'rybody get together
    Try and love one another right now

    If you hear the song I sing,
    You must understand
    You hold the key to love and fear
    All in your trembling hand
    Just one key unlocks them both
    It's there at your command

    C'mon people now,
    Smile on your brother
    Ev'rybody get together
    Try and love one another right now
    Right now
    Right now!


    We must respect each person's place on the path of the journey that is cancer, whether survivor or caregiver, newly diagnosed, in treatment or wonderfully "cured."

    The long time survivors have much to give...the newbies are just now feeling their own way through it. As for me, I'm somewhere in between. I'm grateful for the wisdom of those who have gone before me and grateful to help those I can help. Isn't that the point of our gathering?

    I know we are a compassionate group and this is a place for everyone...no questions, just an open ear and an open heart...give OR take.

    Hugs (watch the video) and infinate blessings to all...
  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    Wow, Sponger, who peed in your "Wheaties"????

    Smooches,
    Stacy
  • livefreeordie
    livefreeordie Member Posts: 45
    LOL..
    Who are you anyway? How about sharing a little bit about yourself for newbies like me? :)
    I cant find your web page.
    Yes I am from New Hampshire. I'd post some good news, but I havent had any yet. I get my first CT scan tomorrow, and find out if 8 weeks of chemo have done anything to shrink my stage 4 on wednesday.... the waiting sucks..
    I'll post more later, if its good news.. but if its bad news I am I still allowed to post? ;)