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In a Daze

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2007

My grandfather, who is 90, recently was not feeling well-initially had surgery for his gall bladder but didnt feel good afterwards...anyway, turned out it was a bowel obstruction and when they did the surgery, they discovered cancer "everywhere"...have given him a very short time to live. Previously, my father (his son) was diagnosed with cancer in 2001, stage 4, amazingly is still living with it and doing well.
I feel like I am in a daze-I cannot stop crying, stay up late worrying, cannot seem to deal with this latest news. I dont know what to say to my grandfather. I hate seeing him so thin and weak and knowing that this is terminal. I have dealt for years with my father's cancer but he has been a survivor and probably quite an exception to a lot of outcomes. I just cannot seem to get a handle on my grandfather's cancer-it is just so horrible when there is nothing to try to help this disease, no treatments, etc. I know my grandfather is 90 and it is comforting that he had a great long life, but it just overwhelms me with emotion that there are no options. I am struggling with everything-does anyone have any advice? Is it normal to feel like this?

Posts: 10
Joined: Jul 2007

Hi enmom,

My thoughts are with you.
My dad got diagnosed with end stage colo-rectal cancer (he was 64) in 1998. They gave him 3 weeks to live. Anyway I got him into a clinical trial and he lived almost 7 more years and ultimately died in his sleep of a heart attack. Then this past September my healthy 67 yrd. old mom, who was my everyhting, got diagnosed with "treatable" lung cancer. We fought a horrific battle and she died on April 22nd. From September until now all I do is cry. There is never a right way for people and the ones we love, to get sick, to grieve, to fight....We all do the best we can. I think your crying is not only normal it's healthy. Age means nothing, it's our love for those close to us that matters and I know that for me to see someone I love in pain, and to feel so helpless is almost too much to bear.
It sounds like you are coming from such a loving place and your dad and grandfather are lucky to have your love in their lives.

Sending you lots of positive energy,

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