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Chemo stopped after 15

apache4's picture
apache4
Posts: 272
Joined: Jul 2007

Well, I fully expected #16 today, but my blood pressure was really high and my platelets fell again after being OK last week. This was after being off for three weeks. Dr. said we will do a CT in a month to see what the "buggers" in my liver do. I asked to see the last actual scan and my entire liver is like freckled with tumors of various sizes. The largest is 3 cm. Stage IV is a bummer. We are in "wait and see" mode for now. I don't know what he will suggest after this. One thing I know, I decided a long time ago that I was not going to seek trials and treatments unproven just to prolong the inevitable. I want to be at home and enjoy my life. I know lots of you are different in this regard, but I think we must all do what we feel in our hearts. My kids know and I just reinforced my decision with my daughter who is respectful of it. Having a PhD. in Microbiology she almost has too much knowledge about these things. The kids are acclimating to what will happen, in time, just as I am. I am not pessimistic and have not given up...just a dose of reality. Just needed to write...thanks for listening.

Limey's picture
Limey
Posts: 447
Joined: Mar 2004

Hey Apache, sorry to hear the news. that must of been a huge relief just to write that all down. I know how it feels to be kicked when your down. I also know what if feels like to get up and give it my best to fight this bugger of a diease. For me, stage IV has had it's ups and downs. It was hard for me to accept this at such a young age. I had just about had enough of the chemo and decided to take the summer off. after 8 weeks I was feeling more pain than I did from being on Chemo so I am back on it and doing o.k. I can understand you not wanting to try any trials. For me, I look at it as, one - it could help me for a period of time. and two - I may bring some extended life to others after me so that makes it easier. Don't give up hope just yet, hope may be just arond the corner. your liver may look pretty good. I hope you get some good answers on your next scan.
Limey

jams67's picture
jams67
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

Reality is ok when you have the facts in front of you, but the waiting is very difficult. I wish you the best and that you could have your new scan sooner.
Jo Ann

kmygil
Posts: 881
Joined: Feb 2007

I have had the reality discussions with my husband and sisters, and they are on board. This is not to say I will not fight. I understand what you are saying.

Hugs,
Kirsten

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