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brother newly diagnoised

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2007

My brother(age 49) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer yesterday after a couple of weeks worth of tests. He came to tell our parents & the rest of our family about it. He is married with a 7yr old. He is upset but has everything all planned out- funeral, ect. He is still smoking and says the dr said it didn't matter at this point. He did agree to some radition because he has 3 spots on his brain and it is effecting his muscle control. He also agreed to 2 rounds of chemo b/c he can't hardly talk due to the tumor pressing on his voice box. I know their is no "normal" but I just feel like he should be saying he is going to fight and look into tx options ect. I don't know what to say, is it wrong to encourage him to hope?

MadelynJoe's picture
Posts: 96
Joined: Sep 2003

Dear Sister:

I would encourage your brother to do both chemo and radiation. I have seen people on this site that were diagnosed with Stage IV and they are years out from diagnosis. Try to talk your brother into not giving up at this point.

I had stage I in 2005. Surgery, then chemo and I am 26 months cancer free.

God bless you and your brother.


Plymouthean's picture
Posts: 264
Joined: Jan 2004

At age 67, I was diagnosed with nsclc, stage 3a. I was "inoperable/incurable". After chemo, radiation and surgery, I'm still here, six years (+) later, cancer free and living large!
If there's a way to convince your brother to fight, then give it a try. BUT, don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself if he won't try. Just do your best to convince him to fight.
Best wishes and prayers.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Aug 2006

It is very depressing and scary to hear the diagnosis of cancer. There is a ton of stuff you have to learn to get to the best treatment for your type of cancer, and sometimes that in itself is overwhelming. To have to tackle so much when you are scared with cancer is even worse. There may be a lung cancer treatment center that you could locate for your brother. Then maybe you could convince him that it would be worth it just to get a second opinion from the best pulmonary oncologist you can find. That might lead to other options or it might not-but he won't know if he doesn't try. Good luck!

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2007

My brother too was recently diagnosed and is only 46 years old. I believe he is stage 3. anyway you should try to talk to him tell him his family needs him,but keep in mind the decision to seek medical attention is very personel for him, you may not convince him. Whatever he chooses you may just have to accept it. my brother was diagnosed 2 months ago and is just now starting treament. Your brother may just be afraid of the treatment or not realize there are options. Try to get copies of literature and show him the treatment are not as bad as they were years ago. I don't know if this help but I will be thinking about both you and your brother as I am going through the same thing

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