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Getting Port today, 1st Chemo tomorrow

Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

Its 5 am and I am up and heading to the hospital for my port. I will have my first chemo treatment tomorrow. I am scared to death not knowing what to expect. I spent pretty much all day yesterday crying. I remember reading a post where someone said that the worst thing about this cancer is it seems to take control over our lives, that appears to be so true. How does one take the control back????? I havent even had the first chemo yet and already this cancer thing is kicking my emotional ***, I cant keep this up. Anyway I am off to the hospital, wish me luck!!!!
and thanks for everyone here, its really is a great place to be....

kathleenss's picture
Posts: 49
Joined: Nov 2006

Wishing you luck, prayer, and all the rest! Just hang in there. Anything that monumental is scary at first. Tomorrow they will tell you lots and lots about what is going on. Learn and ask questions. That's a way of control. As you get more familiar with it, it will become just your temporary kind of normal, and then it will end. By going through with this, you have already taken control.

Thoughts and prayers for you today.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I know it's scarey, but you'll get through it. As for taking control back. Live one day at a time, Celebrate the blessings you still enjoy and be your own advocate. Never give up hope and remember that you are not alone. God Bless


claud1951's picture
Posts: 429
Joined: Jun 2007

I'll be thinking of you. The port will hurt for a little while but that goes away.

Your crying is so natural. We all do it cause we are scared and don't know what to expect or just plain tired of it all and it helps to get it out.

The time I broke down was my first Chemo treatment. They stuck the needle in the Port (it did not hurt) but I just stared sobbing knowing that it has started.

After that...I got on with it and learn to deal with everything and have a great outlook.

You can't spend you energy worry and fretting. You need your energy for taking care of yourself and getting a positive attitude.

Exercise if you can and drink plenty of water. Get those toxins out of your system.

Come back here and ask questions about any side effects you have or need to ask about.

This site has been wonderful to me and I'm finding out things about my side effects that other people have so I don't feel so freaked out about it.

You can do it and with support from family friends you'l beat it!


Posts: 5
Joined: May 2007

The journey of chemo therapy can be very frightening. I have just completed my fourth chemo so I am 2 months ahead of you. As wierd as it may sound, in some ways the time went fast, and in other ways it just crawled. Each chemo session has been different in terms of symtoms. When you are problem solving and trying to get through it it seems like the days crawl. Then, all of a sudden you look back and say- WOW, I made it!
I started my first session 1 month after colon surgery. GI symtoms-colon working too slow and too fast, and acid reflux occured for the first two sessions. As my body healed from the surgery the problems decreased a bit.
There are lots of helpful foods that can help with nausea- you just need to experiment until you find what works for you- ginger, cheese based products, lemon candy (this helps if flushing the port bothers you), tomato based products, and basil pesto have worked sometimes for me. Anyway- just try out items and stock up ahead.
Also, It might help to look upon this as a fight.One lady told me that she used to tell herself to "bring it on!", and she thought of the chemo drugs as her ammunition against the cancer cells! I also heard of an ovarian cancer patient that has been fighting cancer for 7 years refer to chemo as "a small price to pay". These strong, courageous women have helped me to deal with my treatment. Anyway- good luck and before you know it you will have one session done!!!

Posts: 18
Joined: Nov 2005

doroolie- I am a very positive person, but my cancer Dx was like having a heavy, wet, wool blanket tossed over my life. I decided I could not live like that and I certainly didn't plan on ever dying like that. So... here are some things I decided to do -my way of fighting the beast.
1) I decided to be as positive in my talk and actions as possible-people/family will react to your cancer the same way you do. When asked how I was feeling I would say things like "Well I've had better days, but I've had worse days, so I must be OK today" or "I'm so EXCITED for today because I'm ALIVE!!"
2) I found a great song to listen each morning before my chemo- I cranked it up and sang along as I got dressed. My particular song is a modern one with the words- "If you've got the poison, I've got the remedy" hahaha my friends thought I was going crazy.
3) Before my first chemo I started a Happy Box- I searched for things that bring me a smile and added them to the box to use when I had a hard time finding a smile. Also friends and family added to this box and it helped them feel like they were doing something to help. Things like- large bubble wrap for popping, a funky shade of nail polish for my toes, a comedy video, chocolate.
4) I started a chemo journal. It was a place to write my fears, put clippings or inspiring articles, and to write down facts, dates, and times. This journal was very helpful as I felt I couldn't always share my feelings, even with my wonderful husband.
Sorry to write a novel, but hope at least one idea can help you.

jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

The Happy Box is a great idea for a gift now that I'm NED. Thank you for sharing.
Jo Ann

Moesimo's picture
Posts: 1080
Joined: Aug 2003

This is not a road that chosen by any of us. I never thought I would get better, but I did. It has been 4 years since my first surgery. I also had chemo and radiation and 3 surgeries. I had 11 hospitalizations. It has been 4 years and life is good now, colostomy and all.

You will get through this.


Posts: 126
Joined: Jan 2006

The time right after diagnosis and before chemo starts are the worst time. It's the unknown that is scary! For me, after my first chemo, I more or less knew what to expect and it calmed me down.
Hang in there!
Best wishes,

jsabol's picture
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

My heart goes out to you, and your post takes me back. I hated everything about the chemo experience...even the smell in the elevator on my way to the onc's office. I had to decide to not get so edgey about everything (Ativan helped, pre chemo each time); it was a waste of energy when I needed my strength to take care of me and beat this thing. Working to control my thinking and staying positive and focused, one treatment at a time, helped lots. I also know there were no better alternatives for me. Take control of other aspects of your life...diet, resting, long walks...I liked the Happy Box idea; you need something to look forward to (funny movies helped, too). I am now 3 YEARS out from chemo; unbelievable on some level, but I thank god every day for being here. I know chemo stopped this beast, and its all worth it. Hang in there. Judy

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