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Felt like a big baby today

claud1951's picture
Posts: 429
Joined: Jun 2007

Let me preference this with normally I have a great attitude about what's happening to me but today I must have torn through that.

Seems like I was angry today. Was wondering why then realized...I have a chemo treatment tomorrow.

Later on....I dropped a glass canister on my toe. That sent me to the roof! Sat down and started crying. Then....even though my toe stopped hurting I was sobbing harder and realized I didn't want to go to Chemo. Whew...that's the first time that has happened.

My wonderful husband tried to console me and it helps. I even told him to call in sick for me, tomorrow! Ha! I know..I know...I gotta go.

Anyway...one question I have is this...do you drop things more often during Chemo? I'm always dropping or bumping things.

I'm through with the crying jag...and will get on with this evening...Make kabobs on the grill....I love to eat!

Thanks all

KierstenRx's picture
Posts: 249
Joined: Nov 2006

I totally understand what you are going through. I normally would have a great attitude, then it was gone and I would be an angry crying mess. That said these feelings we have are completely understandable. We have been through a lot. I eventually did quit going into work for 2 days after chemo. That helped alot. I also was experiencing a lot of insomnia and that did not help matters.
AS for the dropping things. It almost got ridiculous. My techs at the pharmacy are always picking up for me lids, bottles, pens, script pads you name it. Its like I couldn't get a good grip on thigs. I fininshed my chemo a couple weeks and it seems to slowly be getting better.
Things will get better for you. Enjoy you kabobs!!! You are in my prayers.


KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

You are most definately allowed. I STILL, one year out from any treatment, have my moments.

Hummmm, never thought of the idea of calling in sick for my chemo...lol

I actually got 5 2nd opinions for my breast cancer chemo....pleading with every one of them to let me off, having just finished my cisplatin/5FU drill in January (this was August).

Dropping things...you bet...I invested in plastic...lol....I'm a computer consultant...can you imagine the dread when I had to carry a monitor???? WHEW!

Hugs, Kathi

(Can I come for dinner....LOVE bar-b-que!)

davidsonxx's picture
Posts: 137
Joined: Mar 2007

I thought I was a klutz before I started chemo. I sometimes wonder how I made it through the short course I had without a broken bone. I bumped into things so often that I thought my vision must be bad. I'd go to walk through a doorway and hit my shoulder on one side. The neuropathy was so bad in my hands that I had to be very careful what I picked up. If it took very much grip I had to hold it with both hands or else risk dropping it. I made my hubby chop any food that needed to be cut up after I dropped the paring knife next to my foot twice in 10 minutes.

I think a lot of us have felt like calling in sick for chemo at some point. I know I did. During chemo I caught the flu. I was actually glad to have the flu because it meant I wouldn't have my chemo that week. How crazy was that?

I'm glad you can still enjoy eating while on chemo. Yum, kabobs sound delicious. Eat one for me.

alta29's picture
Posts: 435
Joined: Mar 2005

i was pretty good at dropping glass containers at the supermarket...broke quite a few...

apache4's picture
Posts: 272
Joined: Jul 2007

Thanks for your post because I seem to be going through that the past couple of days. I am now on chemo every 3 wks. (Stage IV, many mets to liver, diagnosed May 2006) Next week will be treatment #16 and it is pissing me off! I hate feeling tired. Everyone thinks I have a great attitude, but I wish I could drop that and let the anger rip, sometimes. I am glad I am not alone with these feelings.

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