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update--- stress at altime high

donahue65775
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2007

As I have been reporting my dad is in real bad shape. Today however he has worried us like no other day. We live on a small farm where we built a house 2 years ago to be closer to my dad as he got sick. We live about a quarter of a mile from my parents. Today my mom had to go to town and I went and checked on my and found him sleeping. a half hour later he drives up to our house naked with an afgan hanging out of the door draging, because he was hot. I drove him home and got him dressed and found that he left the water running in the sink. He normally can't get out of bed let alone the house. This really scared us as he could have easly drove to the highway and had an accident. THE KEYS ARE HID NOW.

It is so hard to take care of someone in his condition. He really didn't know what he did. He does not want a stranger watching him but the rest of us are wearing down. He is honestly more difficult to watch than the kids.

Thanks for the messages of support they are very helpful and it is nice to know I have friends that understand what we are going through :>)

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

I'm sure this is causing a high stress level for your whole family and although I can certainly understand your dad not wanting a stranger to watch him, your mom needs a break now and then. Best to find someone who can keep an eye on him when she has to run errands, needs a break etc. Maybe somebody can come in while your mom is there for a few days so he can get used to them a bit before he actually stays alone with them. God Bless

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Lesson learned? Dad should not be left alone. Regardless of what he wants. Tell him the truth about how much you worry, how much you love him. Ask hospice about daily 'breathers' for your mom...usually they can arrange for someone to come for a few hours each day, so that she can get a break. This stage of life reminds me so much of when my kids were very young. I couldn't imagine leaving them anywhere without supervision. Just because dad is an adult in body, he is partly like a child inside. Part of his delusions might be created by a desire to 'mask over' the terror and panic he feels.

For your own mental health, rely on the people that do this best....hospice and dad's medical team...my friend is a hospice nurse...I told her she WILL be by my side, should that time come...she is so caring and loving toward both her patients and their families.

My heart is full for you, this is such a difficult time.

Hugs, kathi

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