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so upset right now

Posts: 45
Joined: Dec 2005

well, I am an absolute mess right now...can anyone tell me about cancer that has spread to lung, liver, bladder and spine? This is what they have said with my mom, and everything I have been reading says that once it spreads to the spine there is not to much time left. Wow, is life unfair...we have bought all kinds of herbal meds. for her (thanks for all the input), and she is taking them faithfully, but I want more. Should I prepare for the worst? I know when Mike had cancer we always thought positive, but the drs. have said they can only control the cancer if they are able to do chemo.. but she only has one kidney now so they are not sure if she will be a candidate because her kidney is not functioning as well as it should.I can't even function properly, maybe someone needs to give me a swift kick in the butt! I always thought lightening wouldn't strike twice but so much for that. Anyhow, I just wanted to know if anyone else has had cancer spread to the spine, or any information, or who knows, maybe I just needed to vent...so sorry
Thanks to you all

goldfinch's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

I have no knowledge of cancer that has spread like your mom's. I just wanted to let you know that I am keeping you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

vinny3's picture
Posts: 933
Joined: Jun 2006

I don't think they can really clear it from the spine. However there may be some control. If radiation can be done then they use that sometimes for the spine. I think mainly to keep pain under control. Otherwise I think it depends upon chemo and other (herbal etc) to keep the cancer in check.

As long as we are able to think we can hope. There are success stories after the most dire prognosis. Our prayers are that your mother will be one of them.


spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Sylvia -

We're always here for you to vent to. This is a safe place and we're all here to support you and to pray for your mom and send good energy her way.

My good friend SeaDetail (I think his personal page is still on CSN) had mets to his spine, pelvis, liver and abdominal wall. He fought hard. Like Dick says, as long as we breathe there's hope, but it is important to consider the quality versus the quantity of life.

We're here for you. Keeping your mom and your family in my prayers.

- SpongeBob

CherylHutch's picture
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Sylvia, venting and expressing confusion is good... and this is a wonderful forum for doing this. The one thing I have learned, no matter how dire a picture looks and how much doom and gloom the doctors give you (remember, they have to be honest according to their training and medical beliefs and they wouldn't be doing anyone any favours by talking about something they don't know, so they tell you what they do know). But even doctors can be wrong. I don't mean, as in malpractice or anything like that, but they are calling a spade a spade and then down the road find out it was a rake.

So, take a deep breath, do some relaxing exercises just to get your anxiety under control. Mom should do this too because I'm sure she is just as scared. Then know there's hope and you and Mom and the family are going to give it the best fight! There have been way too many stories where people are told to get their affairs in order because they have 3-6 months left... their cancer is incurable, but 6 years later they are still around kicking butt ;)

Remember... when you hear the word "incurable", all that means is that the machines and contraptions modern medicine has might not be able to do anymore but, the word itself meand "Cure from withIN". We work from our inner strength, thoughts and feelings and it's amazing how much that can help if we really want something. And yes, someone else's thoughts directed to the person can have a wonderful affect too :)

Sorry for the babble, but I was told that my diagnosis may have come a little too late...so I know exactly the kind of panic you are going through. But just take those deep breaths and one day at a time!


jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

Sylvia, this is a great place when you need to vent. We have all done it at one time or another.
The thing that helped me the very most is The Lord's Prayer. When I realized just what "Thy will be done." really really meant. I can do everything I can, but then I should just leave it in His hands. It really isn't something I can control. You being a basket case can do nothing but make it worse for your mom.
We all support you, and we could not survive without caregivers. I don't know how my husband has dealt with all the things he has had to do.
Don't forget too, to let your mom talk about her cancer and how she feels. I felt I had to be strong and sometimes I just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Providing that shoulder may be the best vitamin, you can give to your mom.
I will pray for your family.
Jo Ann

Posts: 135
Joined: Oct 2006

Don't want to give a false hope but one of my friends went 21/2 yrs with mets to the spine, most of which she was able to get around with a a walker BUT she ALSO drove her own car for over a year! So sorry to hear your struggle and I'm certainly praying for all of you.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Sylvia, you come here and vent any time you want. Don't ever be sorry for posting here or apologize for it. Your mom and you are in our prayers. I know we all pray for one another. I hope knowing this helps a little to comfort you. God Bless

Posts: 405
Joined: Mar 2007

I wish I could say something to make it better. We all know how news like this can send us into so much stress and worry.

I am fairly new to this site and was trying to learn more about your situation. I did a search and came across a message that you posted on 10-31-06. It was such a wonderful message and it made me smile. You mentioned that things were better than they have ever been and that you and your husband had been through so many ups and downs. Your husband had made it through his struggle and was free of disease! Sometimes things like this happen and we wonder how we will ever get through them and be happy again. Your post is proof that it can happen. You will get through this and things will be okay again.

Take a deep breath and give your Mom a hug! I will be thinking of you all.


Posts: 425
Joined: Jan 2005

Hi Sylvia:
Good advice from eveyone...you asked if you should prepare for the worst???..if you are prepared... there is no "worst"...your Mom will be in your gentle hands and cared for...absoluteley fight with everything you have but know that if at some point the fight is layed aside..there will be comfort in being by her side..
my thoughts and prayers are with you..and please take hope in all our survivor stories..my husband has numerous mets to liver/lungs.but is still living well after almost 3 years!!

Kanort's picture
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Dear Sylia,

I am so sorry to hear of your mother's situation. Please know that we are here for you and her. I am thinking and praying for you both.



Posts: 50
Joined: May 2003

I'm so sorry to hear bout your mother's diagnosis, I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
I am primary caregiver to my estranged husband who has recurrent rectal cancer with spine mets. It's a tough go, I won't try to tell you otherwise. However, he's been battling since last July and he's still hanging in there. He is not a candidate for surgery although he has had chemo and radiation. Pain has been the biggest issue but there are many things out there for pain now aside from oral narcotics.
Like your mother, he had a kidney that was not functioning well so they inserted a stent and aside from chronic UTI's his kidney seems to be functioning OK.
Again, my thoughts are with you, this is a great spot to vent and you are definitely entitled :)

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005


I have a breast cancer friend who has mets to the bone....at that point, it becomes a true chronic disease....treatment will continue, but NED is a little more elusive...

I STILL believe in the miracle of HOPE, however....

Hugs, Kathi

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