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to learn what fear is

Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2007

Michael and I had know eachother long before we started dating. I became his girlfriend about a year after his surgery when he was diagnoised with GBM IV. Our first date was going to the hospital for his MRI and to get the chemo, but I was never scared. A month later he had a seizure I was not there when he had it but my heart remained defiant and I refused to be scared. Time has passed, our relationship has blossomed into something more beautiful and perfect and wonderful then I ever thought could exist, and now I am terrified. Things have been going well, he has been off chemo for almost six months, there are still seizures and it looks like that will not change, but I am still terrified. It seems that the more research I do on GBM's the more I have to fear. Micheal and I are only in our early 20's and all the research is for adults usually in there 50's. I guess what I am really saying is, I am afraid. I have hope and I have strength, but my mind wonders to statistics and case reports, and my strength fails. My hope never falters neither dose my love. I just wish we could all have answers, even if the answers are ones we don't want to hear, just an answer to stop all the questions. That is what fear is, a world without answers.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Ari, I"m sorry that you are going through this experience. Yes, it would be wonderful if we all have answers, and someday hopefully, we all will. Right now though only God has all the answers. Keep positive, never lose hope and forget statistics. Whether the statistic is 1 percent or 10 percent, there are people who defy statistics all the time. It's normal to be frightened and worried over someone we love in a situation such as this. Don't let the fear control your life. You have more strength than you think you have. Take each day as it comes , enjoy it as another present from God and remember that prayer is the most powerful treatment. Keep the faith & God Bless.

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