FRANTIC Member Posts: 106
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I have this big operation coming up in March 13.
Removal of rest of colon and rectum. Live with the illeostomy. I am totally stressed out at home with nothing to do because of my back being out. I am very concerned about these large lymph nodes near the aorta area 1 classified as calcified. They all show up on MRI's and cat scans but not on the pet scan that was when it was
2 cm. They are very deep behind the stomach. I would imagine the surgeon will look at them on march 13. I am petrified to death. I cannot cope every day worrying about this surgery. I am taking xanax which I am very tired. Don't want to get up in the morning. Have no desire to do anything. Your friend Fran just reaching out for support.


  • hopefulone
    hopefulone Member Posts: 1,043
    I'm sorry that you are going through all this. I can't imagine what you are going through Fran, but I do know that sometimes the worrying and the waiting is the hardest part. Please know you are in my prayers and that you are not alone in this. You have the support of all your friends here so don't give up. There is always hope . Try to look for anything and everything positive. Sometimes you have to just "let go and let God" handle the big stuff. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, an hour from now, a minute from now. There aren't any guarantees for any of us. Talk to your doc about the xanax. Maybe it needs to be changed to something else and let him/her know how you feel. Don't assume they know. Try not to worry about tomorrow. Tommorrow will hold enough worry for itself. I know it's hard, but focus on getting through one day at a time. Talk to your doc about your concerns. Knowledge is empowering. Hugs and prayers your way.
  • oneagleswings
    oneagleswings Member Posts: 425
    Oh Fran:
    Sometimes worrying can make you sicker than the actual disease...so try some really deep breaths and relaxation...my sister's husband is in AA and their favorite advice is " let go Let God"..meaning if you are so inclinded to put you r faith in God and let HIM do the worrying..
    Hope your pain level is good- keep well Fran
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member

    Do you have someone who can stay with you and talk to you when you're up to it? Would the NY chapter of ACS be able to help you with anything up close and personal? I hate the thought of you enduring all this by yourself.

    What you are going through would overwhelm anyone, so keep talking to us if you feel this helps you. All that said, I still wish someone can be there with you tho. Let me if there is anything I can help!

  • vinny3
    vinny3 Member Posts: 928
    Hi Fran,

    I'm so sorry that you have to wait for the surgery. Waiting is so hard. Your doctor may be able to give you something other than the Xanax for your nerves. It works well but is relatively short-acting. There are longer-acting medications (Klonepin is one but there are others) which may work better for you. I hope the pain control is getting better for you.

    With your back I know you are limited in activity and it makes it more difficult to get out and take your mind off your problems. Are there any interactive computer activities that you can do? For me, it would be playing bridge-you can find games going online at any hour.

    Will continue to pray for your relief and lessening of your troubles.

    Your friend, ****
  • alta29
    alta29 Member Posts: 435
    we all know the feeling of what if....the good news is that you can have surgery..that is always a good thing...
    You are all in my prayers...
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358
    Hi Fran: your surgey is a month away, so you have a lot of time to think and worry. Try to move, even if it's just a little..even if you don't get up, a few isometric exercises will stimulate circulation. **** has a good idea w/ interactive games..for me it's scrabble. Keep your sunny side up... bud