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Posts: 24
Joined: Jun 2006

Well - I've been off and running for a while. My husband has now been cancer-free since May of 2006. We were on the verge of a divorce the last time I "vented". Finally, about 2 months ago , a "friend" of mine really insulted my husband and his recent actions to me. That was the straw that built my camel's back. I realized what a wonderful man I married, how hard he's fighting, and tried to see through his eyes some of his daily struggles. I finished hanging pictures in our new home, began cooking more with him in mind (not just our 3 young children) and saw him for him. We had a long 2 hour discussion and cried about how we felt, our fears, and his prior moods. He sees the light, but so do I. We may only have 3, 4, or 5 more years before this strikes again, but we can laugh a lot in that time. We laugh at everything. We actually play "pick up sticks" with our bills. Those on top get paid - all others can wait. But we survived Stage IV inoperable cancer - now we tackle the Mt. Everest of bills. That too will be conquered. So - Smile :) and LOL daily!!! Good luck to all and say your prayers - if nothing else it's one person to vent to who won't yell back, but who can help more than anyone or anything else!!

Posts: 32
Joined: Jul 2005

I am glad that you are working thing out.Divorce would have to be a hard thing. I have cried all weekend because the love of my life did not survive his cancer. It has been 9 months today that he died in my arms and it hurts more each day. I can't sleep cause I see him like riding the lawn mower waying at me as I past him and smiling as thought he was having fun. Well you know he was having fun he was alive and things were not always great but our love was so strong that it got us through all our troubles and I don't know how I am going to live with out him.

CanadaSue's picture
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2006

I am so sorry for what you are going thru, I cannot even imagine the pain.

I know that the day may come when I am in your shoes, and don't know how I would handle not having my husband of 31 years beside me. It is something I force myself to not think about.

My heart goes out to you!



Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Deb, my deepest sympathies on your loss. There are no words that can convey my sincere condolences. I, unfortunately, echo Sue's sentiments. I may face this one day myself and I can't even think about it. God Bless and keep you in His care. Hugs. Diane

CanadaSue's picture
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2006

I like your attitude! If only other people could have their eyes opened without having to go thru cancer.

There were so many things I took for granted before we began this journey 1 year ago. Now if my house doesn't get cleaned on time, a bill doesn't get paid, I no longer worry about all that small stuff. I still (for now) have my husband. We make the most of everyday, and no longer put off the things we want to do.

We are a waiting the results of his latest CT-scan, (which we are praying will be clear) should it, god willing, be clear we will still live each day as a gift.

We can never really know what goes thru the minds of those afflicated with cancer, but in having conversations with my husband, I learned he was living by making it to the next milestone, to which I told him he had many left to go!

Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you!



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