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do we have any hope?

jessjakem
Posts: 18
Joined: Dec 2005

Things are moving way too fast. Last Monday we found out my dad's cancer was back in the lungs and abdomen. August PET was clear. He went in the hospital on wednesday for the port but was admitted b/c his kidneys were failing. Now his kidney's are good but he has a bowel obstruction. He now has a NG tube. The drs are now saying things are not good. We thought we were going to talk to hospice today but my dad said he isn't giving up. He wants the surgery. The drs keep saying he isn't a very good candidate for surgery. We want to support my dad, but we don't know if he really understands how bad it is. It has just been an emotional rollercoaster.

Jessie

Patrusha
Posts: 488
Joined: Jun 2006

This is hard. The doctors are pointing to the dreaded word, "terminal" but doctors aren't always right, after all.

Why do the doctors say he isn't a good candidate for surgery? Because of the mets? Lots of people get mets and keep fighting.

I think your dad needs a frank, private discussion with his doctors, and perhaps a swift second opinion before he goes forward.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Always keep hoping.

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I agree. Get a second opinion. If dad is willing to continue the fight, it should be continued, if possible!!! We know ourselves much better than a doctor does.

Hugs, Kathi

nanuk's picture
nanuk
Posts: 1363
Joined: Dec 2003

Hospice isn't necessarily giving up..think of it as additional support; they can be very encouraging and helpful, both to the patient and family.

nudgie's picture
nudgie
Posts: 1483
Joined: Sep 2006

I agree with KathiM and Patrusha. You should receive a second opinion. There are too many survivors out there that the doctors indicate WOULD NOT survive. Also, if your Dad is willing to continue the fight and he fully understands his condition, I would let him fight as long as he wanted.

NEVER EVER give up hope or faith. God is with us all and provides us with miracles everyday.

jessjakem
Posts: 18
Joined: Dec 2005

Thank you guys for your support. I think the drs think he is very weak for surgery. I am not really sure about how to get a second opinion. Do we ask the drs to find one or do we have to take him to another hospital?

Jessie

mindy10
Posts: 183
Joined: Jul 2005

Sorry for what you have to go through. I went through it with my dad. His was back in his abdomon and lungs. His was not opertable because there was just way to many tumors. You could always get a second opinion to put your dads mind at ease. Maybe if he hears from a second dr that he is not a candidate for surgery he will acept it. My father didnt know how bad it really was right up until the end. Or maybe he did but did not want to face it. That is how he was his whole life so we didnt push it. We where just there for him and sat with him and comforted him. If you ever want to email please feel free to do so. Best of luck. Mindy

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2599
Joined: Apr 2003

Hey, Jessie -

Lots of good advice here. I have to agree with the second opinion squad. If dad wants the surgery, let him have it. He wants to fight, don't cut off his ability to do so - regardless of what the "experts" say - hope comes from within and hope can make all the difference sometimes.

Keeping you guys in my prayers.

- SpongeBob

vinny3's picture
vinny3
Posts: 933
Joined: Jun 2006

They are probably saying the risk is high due to the kidney shutdown he had and then the bowel obstruction. Until he has been clear from those things for awhile the risk of mortality from the surgery is fairly high. The mets are just one more additional factor. Hopefully he can be stabilzed and then surgery still considered. Try to hang in there. We will pray for your father and your family.

Dick

lfondots63's picture
lfondots63
Posts: 822
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Jessie,

I think Dick is right. They are worried that he is not up to it yet after everything that has just happened. I would ask them how much time they would want to wait until he is better from the other issues. He needs to build up his strength some before a surgery. Maybe then you can get a second opinion also. It is great that your dad doesn't want to give up. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. HUGS.

Lisa F.

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