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Duey is thinking about stopping

LLLady's picture
LLLady
Posts: 67
Joined: Aug 2006

The chemo and radiation, He has been thinking about that for a little while. Now with me reading some of the post to him from here he's almost sure he wants to stop. He want's quality over quantity
He feels great only a fews days out of the month and he says it's just not worth it.
I'm so confused. I'm not sure what he should do, I wish someone had a magic answer for us.
Anyway I have much love for everyone here
I hope everyone is feeling good HUGS!

AuthorUnknown
Posts: 1560
Joined: May 2006

Lady,

I hope that you read a post from 'pepperdog' last week. She lost her husband due to chemo effects. I truly hope that you would support Duey's decision to stop. This is the right one.

LLLady's picture
LLLady
Posts: 67
Joined: Aug 2006

Yes! we read that and it sent chills down my back
I will support whatever he wants to do, I always have and always will. Duey is the love of my life and I feel so much pain for pepperdog. I hope she's OK!

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kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Elenora,

How do YOU know this is the right decision for Duey??? I think this is a major life altering decision and should be made with FACTS and a doctor's guidance and opinions from EXPERTS in the field of cancer.

Kerry

lfondots63's picture
lfondots63
Posts: 822
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi LLLady,

I'm sure it is a very hard decision for him too. If he wants to stop, I would say send Scouty an e-mail and 2bhealed also to find out what they did instead of chemo They are both NED now and GREAT success stories. I think he should continue to fight this disease but if not chemo go the natural root. He especially needs to boost his immune system after chemo so it can start fighting this on its own. Good Luck and HUGS to you and Duey!

Lisa F.

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

I may be in the minority, but here goes...

I don't think this type of decision should be based on what only people from this site feel. Where one person may believe they passed as a result of the chemo, others would not be here if it weren't for the chemo. I would ponder many things prior to making that decision. What has the oncologist offered regarding this potential to stop? Maybe resuming it later? Does it seem to be working? I know everyone will jump on me saying that the oncologist gets paid when people come in for chemo, but they are also obligated to give you the straight information regarding pros and cons of stopping chemo. I would not weigh this decision lightly, and I'm sure you aren't. You are a wonderful caregiver who wants the ultimate best for your husband. You don't want him "ruined" by chemo, but you also don't want to snub something which may be working for him.

All I ask is that you do not let armchair quarterbacks dictate which path you follow. Everything you read here is an opinion, and may or may not be the best for Duey. But you are a smart person who probably already knows this.

Good luck with this decision as well as every point on this journey....

Stacy

P.S. I hope this doesn't read like I'm "slamming" those who are saying stop....just reminding you to take everything into consideration, as well as other options to fight cancer. Hugs!

AuthorUnknown
Posts: 1560
Joined: May 2006

That is exactly right: in case of some people chemo helps, in some other people it kills. And also right: everybody's decision is their own.

Betsydoglover's picture
Betsydoglover
Posts: 1254
Joined: Jul 2005

Llady -

I am sorry Duey is having problems with chemo etc.

I also apologize for not remembering his Stage or what the "progress" (I hate that word) of his disease has been through chemo. I also can't remember whether or not he has colon surgery (chemo brain I am sure).

If Duey has not yet had colon surgery, then he needs to - don't think anyone recommends against that.

If he is Stage III or less, you really need to think about stopping chemo, whether for a break or permanently. Feeling poor is one thing - how manageable it is depends upon in part whether or not there is an end date - Stage III or less there probably is. How much more does he have to go if he stays the course?

If Duey is Stage IV, how has his response (based on CT and PET) been? My oncologist believes in giving Stage IV patients a break rather than beating them into the ground. In my case my scans have been NED since she suggested the break, but we were going to go for the break regardless of what the scans showed. And, my chemo side effects were not even all that bad (she says now, although she dreads going back on the stuff).

Good luck with your decision, but make sure you have all the medical facts lined up so that you know what you are doing. Stopping chemo is not at all necessarily bad, depending upon where he is, what has been happening with chemo, what his stage is and how the disease is progressing.

Take care,
Betsy

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Joining the minority ...

I am sorry to hear that Duey isn't feeling so great. I think it's very important for you and him to discuss his discomfort with his doctor. Some/many of those may be common symptoms that all patients on chemo have, and there are known remedies for many of them. My own chemo treatments was by no means easy but we worked through it carefully along the way, made big adjustments to personalize the treatment and I completed it. I think the key is to be specific and methodical in purseing a course of action that will make a difference to improve Duey's situation with the people who can really help - Duey's doctors.

Yes, unfortunate news of losses are really hard to take, but I think the ultimate cuprit is CANCER. That's the beast we fight. The rest is tactics.

Chemo is hard but we through it to nail the cancer. I think the way to think about it is that life is worth it. Remember all those posts here that says "I've finished my treatment 5 years ago and I am NED"?

Choosing a course of treatment is a huge decision but I feel that it should be based on facts and data that's specific for each individual.

Like Stacy, I am not at all saying that stopping is necessarily bad advice, I am just urging you to not base such a big decision only based on scary posts.

Duey is so lucky to have you as an advocate for him!!!

Ying

lfondots63's picture
lfondots63
Posts: 822
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi,

I'm jumping back in to clarify what I wrote. I think whatever decision you make should also be well researched with Duey's medical team. This is such a personal decision that Duey must make after gathering all the facts. I was giving an option if you finally do decide to stop. Even if you don't, you might want to ask about some things to boost the immune system and make sure his Onc is on board with it. HUGS from someone who doesn't want to be in either "camp". We will all be here to support both of you.

Lisa F.

LLLady's picture
LLLady
Posts: 67
Joined: Aug 2006

Hello everyone
Once again thank you so very much for your input,
Please don't get me wrong
Duey is not thinking of stopping because of reading a scary story on here, He's having a really bad time with the Chemo eventhough they have lowered his dose because he is doing Radiation too. he feels sick for more than a week after the Chemo pump comes off, he's also having really bad mood swings so bad that we have to leave the house because we become scared of him. I talked to him about this when he was feeling good and he say's he knows he doing it but he can't help himself. He hates what the Chemo and radiation is doing to him. He say's he feels like a junkie and that it is just poisoning him slowly. We would never stop without talking with the Doctors and getting as much information as we could. I will call the American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345. To see if they can help us.
Thank you again everyone HUGS!
Lady~*
ps... Duey is stage 2 with 2 of 10 lumpnodes
He had surgery on Aug 23-06 to remove a tumor the size of a lrg lemon. That had to be peeled off of his bladder.

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi LLLady:

Thanks so much for your assurance and thanks for the info on Duey. If he had 2 positive nodes that would make him stage III, not II, I think.

About the chemo funk, yup I had it, I was dead edgy, not to mention goofy in a big way. I found that mild exercise is the best upper for while I was in chemo funk. Exercise, fresh air gets your body to generate the well-being juice, sarotonin. See http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcArticles.nsf/pages/Depression_and_exercise?OpenDocument for more on beating depression with exercise.

About poison - think of it as poison the CANCER, the nasty critters. That's how Lance Armstrong dealt with it. Every time chemo got bad, he said to himself - yeah, get the cancer bastards. Every time when he threw up, he just imagined expeling poison out of his body.

Hey, that gets me thinking - have you heard of guided imagary? I bought some CDs on this earlier and it helped me a lot with establishing a positive set of mental pictures. Please google it to see more.

And above all, talk to the caring folks at ACS and Duey's docs!

Best of luck to you!
Ying

Betsydoglover's picture
Betsydoglover
Posts: 1254
Joined: Jul 2005

LLLady -

Ying is so right. It sounds like Stage III.

Have Duey think of those cancer cells being zapped every time he has chemo - keep thinking ZAP for a week or two.

And, her idea of "guided imagery" can only help.

Again, best wishes,
Betsy

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

LLLady,

I have to chime in her since I am one of those that chose to stop chemo months before my oncologist wanted me too, BUT I had been doing it for 8 months with some success at the beginning and I was stage 4 and had not had any cancer surgeries. So my situation was totally different then his (weigh that appropriately).

I researched extensively on what to replace it with (I did not want to die from the chemo but I really didn't want to die from the cancer either)and the diet I went on after chemo was a full time job and quite pricey. I have to also tell you it was the single hardest decision I have ever had to make or hope to ever have to make.

I am very fortunate and lucky to have had success since I stopped, BUT I have worked very hard for that success. You are so right about getting all the info you can before he makes the decision and it does need to be his, no one elses.

Lisa P.

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

OMG OMG, scouty, no surgery? You are one tough babe!!!

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Yep, Scouty is not only one tough babe, she is smart and has been diligent and thorough with her new regimen.

My admiration to you girlfriend!

Kerry

LOUSWIFT
Posts: 372
Joined: Aug 2006

Duey is getting hit hard with chemo and radiation at the same time it's extremly hard physically and emotionally. Its easy to take it out on everyone else. Tell Duey that he obviously has a family that loves him and to suck it up if not for him then for you. There a plenty of people who have gone through and are going through worst treatments than he is. Many without the support of thier wifes and family. The difference is that they are alive typing on these keyboards. Yes I know the treatment changes you and we all want to be what we were. But Duey is stage III and while the treatment sucks, eating the vine of the moro tree; dancing around a campfire with some pigeon feathers; or clicking our heels together and saying there's no place like home won't cut it. If it did I say go ahead or maybe someday it will. But for the love of a good woman you use the weapons at hand and fight like hell. You may be able to tell not so many months ago I was Duey. LLLady I like Duey couldn't see beyong my pain, suffering and fears. I hope he will make an informed decision that will lead to saving his life if not for him then for you! Love is the strongest and most easily forgotten emotion when suffering is involved.

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

LOUISWIFT!!!

Nice way to step up to the plate! We all tiptoe around being politically correct when in all reality, you said exactly what MOST of us think!!!

YOU ROCK!!!

Stacy

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Amen! Lou, you said it.

Agree 100% with Stacy.

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

Appears there needs to be a little clarification...

In summary, I think the chemo vs. no chemo debate should include the following:

(1) Getting all the facts from PROFESSIONALS. Cancer should not be taken lightly or without full knowledge of what a person is facing.

(2) The stage of the cancer, the side effects of the chemo, the benefits of the chemo are all part of the equation and should all be considered when making a decision.

(3) The internet is a wealth of knowledge, but it's also a wealth of garbage. CHOOSE YOUR SOURCES CAREFULLY.

(4) Regardless of the route you choose, be confident in your decision. DO NOT BASE YOUR SUCCESS OR FAILURE ON THAT OF ANOTHER PERSON. What may work for one will not necessarily work for another.

(5) Voodoo will never work~~although it's fun trying! (little humor required at this point, don't you think?!?!? lol).

(6) There are many success stories on BOTH sides of the debate. Therefore maybe a combination of both methods should also be considered.

(7) There is no "cookie cutter" approach to cancer. Period. Not debatable.

(8) Now sing "Kumbaya" and everyone kiss and make up. Life's too short for conflict!

Alrighty, then.....

Have a great day everyone!

Stacy

P.S. Some of my personal heroes have done marvelously on chemo (Lisa Rose) and off chemo (scouty, 2bhealed~~emily), and I respect both sides of the argument.

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