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Light at the end of the tunnel...

IzzieCat
Posts: 56
Joined: Jun 2006

Hi everyone! I have been reading here everyday, but not posting much....just taking it all in. I am down to my last 5 weeks of chemo, and I'm so happy that it's almost over, but I'm beginning to feel a little nervous. How do I know if this chemo worked for me? I haven't had too many bad side effects at all, well, maybe a little stomach upset for a few days, but I can live with it. My blood counts have been great all the way through, although the chemo is making me slightly anemic, and I get procrit for that. I am on 5FU/Leucovorin, once a week. I didn't do the FolFox, because it causes neuropathy, and I already had diabetic neuropathy, and didn't want to risk making it way worse.....my onc. agreed. So here I sit, wondering if the chemo I am on did it's job and killed what remaining cancer cells I had floating around....sometimes I think that because I didn't get bad side effects, that it wasn't working the way it should....am I worrying over something silly? I am just so afraid of the cancer coming back! I am just shy of 51....I have a lot of years left (I hope!) The one bright spot is that I live in Detroit, and my Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series, and it's making me so happy that it takes my mind off the cancer! They should help me through the next 3 treatments.....then I'll just hunker down for the last two! Anyway, how have those of you who completed your chemo dealt with the nerves....Thanks so much for listening to me ramble.....

Mary ;-)
GO TIGERS!!!

CAMaura
Posts: 719
Joined: Feb 2005

What a agreat post...You sound soooo healthy and happy -- in spite of chemo. Must be the baseball fever!! I'm thrilled for you that it is almost over. As for the chemo doing the big kill...We all hope it does -- or did. After chemo, it truly is our turn to make the effort to keep our bodies really healthy. There is GREAT nutritional info on site, so don't be bashfull. I hope you embrace it. It will empower you a lot. And as for the nerves, I guess they come and go. When I was just done with chemo, I thought every ache and pain was a new tumor -- in my head, my arm...You name it. Then things subsided...but the nerves do came back (sometimes, a lot) I haven't had a CT exam for almost a year, and even though my colonoscopy and blood work were fine, I am becoming paranoid...I'm making a call to my doc.
Anyway, all the best to you and your team. You are BOTH already winners. Take care - Maura

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

HI,
I just posted to "JoyceCanada" on "chemo completed" from 10/10 on this similar "waiting room" worries! I had the same chemo, and I also worried that it was "not enough". I will soom be 3 years post surgery (I'm now 56) and intend to enjoy every year I get! Good luck to you; hang in there. Judy

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Mary,

Did you know jerseysue also lives in Detroit? I think it's extra special when you find out someone very close to where you live can honestly say they understand what you are experiencing. I remember talking to your husband while you were in the hospital, and he sounds very supportive and positive. That will be another key to getting you through all of this. Although doubt will probably never fully leave the corner of your mind, take peace in knowing that the further from diagnosis you are, the "safer" you begin to feel.

All my best,

Stacy

P.S. I'm glad Detroit is in the Series, too. Even though I'm a White Sox fan, I am glad someone else could feel the way I did last year at this time. I was able to watch the Sox win the World Series at the Vegas Palooza with Kerry's hubby who is from Texas...'nuff said!

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Mary...don't be too concerned just because you had few side effects. Think of it as a bonus. I did 5fu/leuc. for 6 months and had a bummer of a time yet others coped really well like yourself. That does not mean it ain't worked!Remember each of us had varying effects on chemo. Also at the end of chemo many...including me...commented about the so-called "taking away of our security blanket, ie; the chemo". According to my clinic nurses and oncologist that is a perfectly normal feeling. I hope you continue to enjoy few side effects and you look forward to getting off the crap and back to some sort of normality gal
cheers, Ross n Jen

IzzieCat
Posts: 56
Joined: Jun 2006

Thank you all for your replies! I think I can make it through the "nerves".....I'll try not to let them get me! Hey, I didn't know jerseysue lived in my area! Give me a holla, jerseysue! In the meantime.....let's go Tigers!!

Mary ;-)

Stacy, my sister lives in Port Aransas Texas, and I had just about everyone there celebrating with me! They even got their brooms out!! ;-D

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1250
Joined: Mar 2003

Funny you should mention Port Aransas, TX! In April, during the Colon Palooza 3 in Austin, TX, they ventured there to visit the casino!

Truly is a small world, afterall! (Mickey Mouse was right! lol)

Hugs,

Stacy

jams67's picture
jams67
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

Cancer is a very real and ever present fear for all of us. That being said, just remember that people we know who don't have cancer may die before we do. That is the nature of being human. For some reason it helped me to remind myself of that. Now go kill the beast and plan to live forever! Maybe we'll be bitten by a vampire on Halloween. What a thought! Mmmm

vinny3's picture
vinny3
Posts: 933
Joined: Jun 2006

It is always going to be a worry to us that the cancer is still lurking. I know I have periods of concern that the cancer will recur again. I have decided though that I need to concentrate on living, which I can control, rather than dying, which I can't control.

Hugs, Dick

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