Oct 07, 2006 - 2:16 pm
Hi my name is Beth and I just turned 27 years old. I have been in severe pain for the past 3 months, seen 9 different doctors and had 2 CT scans. The first looked like my pancreas was swollen, the second said it appeared to be normal. I have had many things ruled out, no kidney stones or troubles with kidney or UT or bladder, no broken ribs, etc. Now I am awaiting a colonoscopy to rule out colon cancer. My mother's sister died at 27 of colon cancer, she was 25 when diagnosed while having surgery to remove her gall bladder. Of course I am scared of what I may hear at the end of the month with the test, but on top of worrying about my health, my job, and financial situation in general, I am racking my brain about how I will break this news to my loved ones if cancer is my fate. I have not shared with my parents the talks and possibilities of either the pancreatic cancer or colon cancer. My mom was very close to her sister and still morns her. When she heard the initial CT showed a swollen pancreas she said to my BF, well at least it isn't her colon, I was so worried about that when this started. Plus my dad's brother, whom he was also very close to, died at the age of 31 of brain cancer, and my mom's mother has been battling breast cancer. I do not want to worry them if cancer is not the cause of all the pain I have been in. I daily think how will I tell them. My BF has been unbelievable to me, and I don't know what I would do without him, but I hurt for him. One night 2 months ago we talked about it all and he just cried and said he doesn't know what he would do without me, I am his world. That broke my heart. This has been so hard on him already and if we do get THAT diagnosis, I don't know how he will handle it.
So I guess what I am asking is how did you break the news to your loved ones and is there anything that you have done to ease their pain? Sometimes I feel so selfish because I am worried and even a tad bit depressed in the last week or so, but even though I may have a long road ahead of me, there are others that will be suffering as well. And if my fate with this disease were the same as my aunt and uncle's they will suffer much longer than me and I want to do all I can to take care of them. Does that make sense?
Sorry to seem so down. I am just scared and trying to prepare myself for anything and I have always been the type to take care of the ppl I love and I don't want to stop now. I can't wait to hear your stories, and I am so greatful that I found this board today as so many times it seems to me that young ppl dealing with this disease are ignored because we are young and 'it is unheard of'(which I have been told more than once in the last few months.) Thinking of you all and wishing you the best.