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I'm so scared

betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

On July 20 I had a lapascopic procedure to remove a sigmoid cancer,before the surgery I was told that i will not need any chemo treatment,but last Monday when I went back to the doctor,to check the incisions he told me that the results after surgery from the pathologist was showing that I had it too in just one of the adjacent lymhp node and because of that I was referred to an oncologist that have an appoitment for this coming thursday, and that I was going to need some kind of chemo, but he said very light, I am so depressed that I just feel like staying at home I am avoiding even talking to people on the phone I only talk to my relatives ,if someone have an uplifting story I could really use it today, thanks

vinny3's picture
Posts: 933
Joined: Jun 2006

Sorry to hear the news. It is a very devastating feeling to be diagnosed with cancer and to think about getting chemo. The first thing we tend to think is that our life is over. However you will hear from many at this site that life goes on and we learn to deal with it from a new perspective. The unknown is the most frightening aspect of it. Even if the surgeon had said no chemo it would still have been a good idea to see an oncologist. The waiting to hear what will happen is very difficult but hang in there. I have had chemoradiation and surgeryx2 and now chemo. I will be happy when the chemo is over but am able to still work and do many normal activities.

Good luck and God bless.

betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

thank you for answering me,I hope that we will keep in touch

kerry's picture
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003


So sorry about the news. Many times though even stage 2 cancer folks take chemo, to just "make sure". Come here to vent, ask questions and you'll receive many answers and lots of support along with many good stories of survival.

Wishing you the best of luck.


spongebob's picture
Posts: 2599
Joined: Apr 2003

Aw, c'mon, Betina... what's so scary about being injected with chemicals that come in a hazmat container, that require the nurses to wear special gloves when they handle them, that make you feel like crap? Oh... hmmm... I guess I see your point.

Honest - it isn't so bad. Chemo treats everyone differently. It probably did knock you back a step or two when they told you you were going to get it after they had said you wouldn't need it. Nobody likes a surprise like that. The good news is that you only had one node and the chemo should ensure that everything is clean from your head down to your toes. Here's my take on chemo:

1. I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

2. It treats everyone differently - some people get sick, some people do just fine.

3. Your attitude is 80% of your success. the ability to laugh at yourself and see the humor in events surrounding your treatment and life in general are SO important.

4. It's OK to be scared, but not OK to let that fear rule you.

5. Keep eating and exercising - it will help you.


7. Visit the old pros here often for advice - and it's OK to vent here, too.

8. Take care of yourself and do nice things for yourself. Splurge every so often.

Welcome to the SemiColons. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances, but know that you are among friends here.

Looking forward to hearing more from you!

- SpongeBob

betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

Thank you Spongebob,you gave me very good advice in your message, especially # 1

taunya's picture
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

I am sure you are scared because you were not expecting this. You will be able to do this. Sponge Bob is right, and so are you (especially #1)! Come here and vent when you feel afraid, there is usually someone who has been through it and will help you get there too.
Love & Hugs,

betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

Thank you for answering me, is so good to know that we are not alone

Posts: 126
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Betina,
The first few months after diagnosis are the worst. It's normal to feel overwhelmed. You will find the strength that you need.
I also had one lymph node positive. I just completed 6 months of chemo. It wasn't fun, but it was manageable. This is a great resource for getting answers to questions. There is usually at least one person who can say "been there and done that".
Hang in there!
Best wishes,

betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

Hi Donna, thank you for answering me, I hope to hear from you in the future, Bettina

ron50's picture
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

Hi Betina,
Fear is the enemy , cancer is just a crappy disease. It is easy to say don't be scared but that means stuff all to someone just diagnosed with cancer. This site will give you some reasons not to be scared. I was dx with st3 into 6 lymph nodes .I had surgery and a year of chemo. I have been cancer free now for over eight and a half years and am considered cured. The journey has not been fun but believe me you will get bye with a little help from your friends. One of your new friends Ron.

Posts: 56
Joined: Jun 2006

Hi Betina! I was a BASKET CASE when I learned that I had cancer and needed chemo....The first thing I thought of was being horribly sick for months and months.....I'm here to tell you that it's not nearly as awful as I imagined it to be! Chemo affects everybody different, but for the most part, chemo for colon cancer is pretty managable. You'll get through this!


betina61's picture
Posts: 644
Joined: Aug 2006

Thank you so much for answering Ron, I have read your response several times,especially the part where you mention your 8 years of cancer free, when you are recently diagnosed I think you are obssesed with how many more years do you have, I am so happy for you, I hope that 8 years from now I could answer someone newly diagnosed and give him the same hope that you gave me.Thanks again

jsabol's picture
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Betina,
I also had one positive node, which was a surprise to all since my cancerous polyp was smaller than a centimeter. I went on to 6 months of chemo. My surgeon said it was one way to make sure that we got all the cancer cells, even the "micrometastisis". As Sponge Bob said, I would rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have gotten it.
My dad died of metastatic colon cancer, which also influenced my decision to go full speed ahead. I was TERRIFIED about the chemo; and found this site, like you, after surgery and before chemo. The chemo wasn't so bad, except for the fatigue and weight loss.
I am now 2 years out from chemo, back to my old self, and No Evidence of Disease. Hang in there; you WILL get through this and the people here can be an enormous help.
Stay strong and focused on what you need to get through. Judy

Posts: 26
Joined: Aug 2006

Hi Betina, I'm sorry you're so scared. I know how overwhelmed you must feel. When you just hear the word "chemo" it scares you. After my surgery I had 6 months of chemo--once a week for 6 weeks, then 2 weeks off. I did 3 rounds of that and it honestly wasn't too bad. My oncologist recommended this even though all of my lymph nodes were negative. Like spongebob said, it's better to have it even if you don't really need it. I hope it goes smoothly for you. God Bless, Mary

goldfinch's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

You've already gotten a lot of good advise. I just wanted to add my support. I definitely agree with those who said better to get it and not necessarily need it than to need it and not get it. Hang in there. Sometimes you just need to take life one minute at a time.

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