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Where's the Manual?

Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2006

My husband was just diagnosed with lower esophageal cancer. Im still looking for the manual on how to deal with this.

I need to get his weight up but he doesnt really have an interest in eating.

He smokes and I know this is a main cause of his cancer. He is trying to stop smoking cigarettes with the patch but it is a struggle for him. He is also smoking marijuana as he has (like cigarettes) for like 30 years.

I want him to stop so badly. I know htey say for the type of cancer he has it is essentail to his recovery. I am frustrated and angry that he wont stop.

He is trying with the cigarettes but the weed gives him some peace and appetite.

I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

I just want him to do everything possible to get better. I want him to stop smoking anything and everything.

Why is this happening? ARGGGGHHH!

He also feels depressed. I understand I do. So do I.

Many days I feel like just sleeping as well. It helps to forget whats going on. Hes laying down now. I know the meds make him tired but I know I need to get him up and about.

How do I do that? How do I get him to stop smoking?? How do I get him to eat?

Anonymous user (not verified)

I am sorry about your husband.
Afraid the manual hasn't been written yet.
But this is a great place to get support and ideas from the experiences of others.
I learned when caring for my mom that the only one who could MAKE her do anything was herself.
All I could do was try to make sure she knew what her options were and had the necessary resources for accessing them if SHE chose to.
I also got others involved in the encouragement process because sometimes the one closest to us is the one we most resent when we are in a really bad place and our loved one is trying to help us out of it.
Maybe someone else (doctor, friend, counselor) could have more success in helping your husband to make the wisest choices possible.
God bless you both.

Posts: 24
Joined: Jun 2006

My husband has been cancer free for 2 months. He still ONLY sits in his recliner (that was mine) and goes outside to smoke. I won't allow cigarettes in the house because we have 3 young children. He sleeps all day - has lost over 100 pounds and is NASTY rude. I don't know if we will survive this. I don't know if I want to. There is no manual, but there's hope, prayer, and family. I picked a star & talk with it nightly. It gives me a focal point & an outlet. Take care & keep your chin up!!!

Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 2006

My brother was just diagnosed with colon cancer and I don't know what to do for him either. I am so depressed that I can't think straight. Hang in there and I will pray for his health.

Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2006

I feel for you, I really do, because I am in the same type of boat. My mom just got diagonosed with lung cancer, she smokes a pack and a half a day, and won't quit no matter what the doctors say. She's tired all the time, and she sleeps all day, and she doesn't look good at all. She barely eats, and she is very very skinny and fragile. The doctor says she is suppose to walk, but each day she is getting weaker and she won't to spite all our coaxing. It is frustrating. She keeps saying if only they could give her a pill to make her feel better, and sometimes I feel angry too, because she is not making an effort to change anything that might really help her. She's so weak she can barely sit up, but when she does, she wants a cigarette. I wish I had some advice for you, but I haven't found anything that works either. If you find the manuel, please let me know. I guess for now, all we can do is keep encouraging them to make the changes that can make a difference. Good luck to you.

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