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Wierd deja-vu

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

So, I started my last step in treatment for the breast cancer...and found myself crying while laying on the table being 'positioned' for the radiation. Nov 2004 is still too close. Granted, this rad is at the top, and the other was on the bottom (hehehehe), but MAN was I blindsided by the STRONG vibes of memory!
I decided then and there I was going to have a pity party for a few days, and then get on with it.
Then, I read of Andrea's passing, and I feel VERY small...she sounded like such a wonderful, upbeat gal!. So, I need to STOP my complaining, and take my OWN advice...live each day...smile, breathe, laugh!
Hugs, Kathi

Posts: 205
Joined: Feb 2006

I know just how you feel .Reading Andrea's story also made me stop and think about how many days I have spent stressing and worrying about everything !! Now I can't say that I am not going to still have my days . I think a good cry every now and then is good for the soul . I know I feel so much better after a good cry . releases all that built up tension your holding inside . I aways enjoy your post Kathi! Hang in there! Chin up and BELEIVE .
Take Care and God Bless.

spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

And here I thought you were going to tell about having weird hallucinations, too. I've really got to get myself a scrip for some of these pills!

Nothing wrong with a (brief) pity party - we are, afterall, human. According to Vince Lombardi (legendary head coach of the Green Bay Packers when I was a kid)it's OK to get knocked down, the important part is to get back up again.

- SB

Moesimo's picture
Posts: 1080
Joined: Aug 2003

As I sit here crying about Andrea, I feel bad that I posted about my rough day that I had on
Wed. I have nothing to complain about.


kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Moe....I have to agree with Bob. Having a moan or groan or even looking for a shoulder is why this site exists. So many to help...so many to comfort. I am pretty guilty of having a whinge too....and selfish by my own admission too. Then I think to myself that even tho I have a tear for our "sweet baby gal" , Andrea would never begrudge any of us looking for support.
In any case....if we would have our way cancer would NEVER exist. Maybe one day we can tell Jose, Dana, Greta and the rest of the wonderfull folks at CSN their services are no longer needed.(sorry guys n gals....hang about 'cos we need yas badly)
I do advocate for your idea Kathi.....whinge a while, regroup....wipe away the tears...and then battle on until the need arises to whinge some more.
I think all those we have lost would agree with me...bless them!
huggs, Ross n Jen

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JADot's picture
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006


Are you kidding me, you, feel small? You've just so much bigger than life for me! For all you've gone through, you still manage to find the hehehe and a kind word for everyone. You're a total inspiration for me.

I think a good cry is totally needed every now and then. Some of that sad juice just needs to be expunged, then all is better because of it.

Hey I think I am coming down to LA in the next 2-3 weeks for work, maybe we'll have to have a pity party and then eat a lot of chocolate or something :) I'll let you know when exactly.


2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

just make sure that chocolate is dark chocolate and grain-sweetened and not full of sugar!!!


Betsydoglover's picture
Posts: 1256
Joined: Jul 2005

Kathi -

I think I know how you feel, but your have every right to be scared and have bad deja-vu (is there ever good deja-vu?). And being a two-time survivor, you are my hero!

Take care,

lfondots63's picture
Posts: 822
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Kathi,

I just want to say HUGS and it is ok to be down sometimes like the rest of the people say. You are always so upbeat and make me smile. Lean on us for once and let us help. Like someone said you get down somedays and then pick ourselves up and keep on fighting this beast.


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