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Angry Mom Ovarian Cancer Stage IV

Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2006

My mom (61) has ovarian cancer and this is the second time around. Her cancer has spread throughout her abdominal cavity and the largest tumor is in her liver (2 cm). I (37)have BRCA1 positive gene and had surgery to remove ovaries. My mother is acting angry towards me and saying hurtful things and telling me I need to go get help and that I suffer from PMS 4 weeks a month since my surgery (year ago) and that my husband is on the verge of leaving me. None of this is true. I went and spoke to a counselor and he feels I am stressed out.

Please help if you have had a similar situation or any useful advice. I am angry at her for constanting criticizing me and I do not want to harbor bad feelings since she is dying, but I am out a point in my life where I no longer want to speak to her because of all the snide remarks and controlling comments she makes about my life.

I am praying for peace and praying to find forgiveness in my heart.

Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Being a caregiver for someone, as well as it being your mother, AND dealing with your situtaion, no wonder it's so stressful. Continue to see the counselor if he/she is helping you. You are experiencing so many emotions right now, and I can appreciate that you want to help your mother too. Maybe she needs to speak to someone also, someone who can help with what she is going through. Maybe she lashes out at you because you are the one closest to her, or the only one she can release her anger on. Nonetheless, no one needs the additional stress.

You can be sure that I will pray that you will find peace and guidance on all of this. I pray that the Lord will strengthen you to get through each day, each moment. I know there are many on this site that will do the same. Don't give up hope. Please keep in touch.
Blessings and hugs (lots of them!)

Posts: 650
Joined: Mar 2003

Your mother obviously is angry that she is dying, and needs counseling-probably more than you - also.

This is a sad situation, and my heart goes out to you. Your mom is probably being affected by drugs that would affect her judgement; but even that won't ease your hurt as a daughter.

Please call an American Cancer Society office or a local mental health office and ask for help and/or advice. It was a huge step for you to speak to a counselor, I'm sure, and I hope they were able to help you out. It would be sad to have your mom leave with the bad feelings she's given you.

Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2006

There are many reasons why your mom is angry and taking it out on you. I have Ovarian Cancer, and was over-reacting to everyone! I found out I had low blood sugar, aggravated by the chemo. I never knew that low blood sugar can make you SUPER crabby and yell for no reason. I adjusted my diet to cut out the sugars, lower the carbs and add more protein, and I'm back to normal again. I gave my kids permission to remind me if I seem out of control again, to eat more protein.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. My prayers are with you.

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