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kanga to tha rescue

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

I thought it prudent to waste a line or two here....maybe a teensy bit of humour will cheer you up guys n gals. Jen asked me today if I should go buy some pajamas(jammies we call em) to sleep in. I said "why?" She said that it was not ettiquette to walk around in another country in me birthday suit at all hours of tha night. Even if it was in a hotel or someones home. I replied, "hey, I ain't bashfull...everyone who will be at the palooza or are here on CSN are not ashamed to talk about their personal ablutions...so does it matter if I go starkers once in a while?"
Now, she gave me a very solemn look of total disgust and firmly told me that I should wear something. Mmmmmmmmmm.....I wonder if my g-string will suffice? Sponger...help me out buddy...Bud?...waddayou wearin mate? Ron?....Howard?Bruce,Rodney? awwww...c'mon fellas I need guidance here!
Oh strewth...Jen just walked in!!!! THUMP..Ouch!! Arghh!!! "belt"....ow!
.....some days are diamonds...somedays SHE is stone...........thump, belt...ouch!
...think I'll by some jammies.....

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

count down....13 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rthornton's picture
Posts: 346
Joined: May 2005

Well, Ross, since you asked, I think it would only be appropriate for you to wear a very fluffy kangaroo costume, complete with ears and whiskers and a pouch for all your colonpalooza supplies. I only regret that I won't be there to see it.


spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

Rodney -

I laughed so hard I p!$$ed myself! BRAVO!!

Kanga -

I guess I should let you in on some of the little known US customs so that you blend in when you're here - especially in Texas, you know how they feel about "fur-i-nurs". In the US it is customary:

1. To buy every American you meet a drink

2. Inform every policeman you encounter where you are staying and then tip them $5 to walk past that location hourly to ensure it stays safe.

3. If you encounter someone wearing a cowboy hat, it is appropriate to walk up to them and loudly exclaim "Yee-Haw! Howdy, partner. How are Hoss and Little Joe?" ("Hoss and Little Joe" is a Texan phrase to mean one's family). Do this even if you don't know that person. To not do so is considered unneighborly.

4. Fried bull testicles are a delicacy and it is bad luck to go to Texas and not eat them as your first meal. In order not to offend the chef, it is customary to, when finished, stand up and exclaim "Those are the most fabulous testicles I ever ate".

5. Texans do not tolerate people from other countries well... In order to blend in, you should give all of your foreign currency and coins to the first Hare Krishna person you encounter - you'll recognize them by their shaved head and orange toga.

6. In order to blend in while in Texas, you should should refer to all men as "Billy Bob" or "Jimmy Joe", use the phrase "Y'all" without hesitation (as in, "Billy Bob, y'all mind if I have some more of y'all's sweet tea, all y'all?").

7. Lastly, ALWAYS refer to law enforcement personnel in Texas as "Chuck Norris" (as in, "Yee-Haw howdy! Here's $5 for y'all, Chuck Norris. I'm staying in room 415 at y'all's Holiday Inn, y'all. How are Hoss and Little Joe? Let me buy y'all a drink.")

8. Oh - one last thing - they really frown on thongs pool-sde. The latest trend is to wear a bright orange or hot pink Speedo swimsuit at poolside. That's what all the fashionable guys are wearing this year.

Hopefully these "insider" tips help you to enjoy your visit to Texas to the fullest. I hope that you will, likewise, make me aware of some of the important local customs before I come to Australia!

Cheers, y'all!

- Sponger

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Oh, my goodness....I wet something, too!!!!
I, being from California, was considered to be a fur-in-er, too!!!!!
PLEASE take SB with a grain of salt (darn Californian)! Alien!
Seriously, Texans can be a little conservative (back me up here, jana!!!). They have very good manners (don't talk about you till you leave the room), tip their hat to ladies (happened to me ALL THE TIME (hehehehe), and generally look at the rest of us (non-Texans) as an income source (tourism).
I LOVED my visits to Houston, and San Antonio, I have never been made to feel so at home (darn californian....now GO HOME!).
Serious, again...enjoy yourselves, buy yourself a co-boy hat (they will teach you how to use it....my beau got "Mam" instructions...seriously), and eat some Tex-Mex...gar-n-teed to fry your socks off....

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I sit corrected, Kerry!
I have visited your great state 5 times, and really do love it and the people.
I meant no offense, honest.
I love the Riverwalk....I've taken the boats every time I've been in San Antonio.

And the food is really HOT!!! My tongue is really a tenderfoot!
Have fun, all you that are going...it's a beautiful state.


kerry's picture
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Ok, Ok, enough is enough!!! I resemble them thar remarks!!!

You will find good ole down home hospitality, good folks, good food and good fiddlin here in Texas. Ain't that right???

Don't Mess with Texas!!


P.S. Hey Sponger - did you really eat testicles???

Posts: 484
Joined: Jan 2005

I laughed out loud when I read Rodney and Sponger's replies!


I say wear what you want, or not. Personally I wear jammies only in the winter.

Ya'll have a good time!! Sorry I'm going to miss it.


jerseysue's picture
Posts: 626
Joined: Oct 2005

I am in for a treat! See you all soon.

Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Had to chime in. Austin is a little pocket of liberal in the vast land of Texas. People are mighty friendly in all parts of Tx.

ALL Americans are suckers for British and Australian accents (only problem is that most people can't tell the difference - try not to take offense.)

There is a small beach in Austin, by a lake, where people hang out nude! No jammies required. While staying with Kerry, jammies may be a good idea (depending on how much drug and alcohol is comsumed), but after that - do what ever you want.

We all love you no matter what you wear. Only difference is that Jen lives with you - you may need to just listen to her. :)

Can't wait to see you! jana

Posts: 297
Joined: Apr 2004

You all have me laughing so hard!!!! I wish I could be in Austin!!!

ron50's picture
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

Absolutely nothing wrong with the birthday suit Ross although I must admit mine needs ironing,Ron.

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

STOP it, Ron, I'm gonna bust!!!!!

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Seeing as how we do things "upside down here" I will reply backwards....he!he!
Kathi............Ron's an ozzie guy.....all us ozzie's (well, at least the sane ones) sleep in tha nud.
Ron.....what part of the "b/day suite" needs tha "stiffening up mate?...lol!
Terri....Jen fell on tha floor when she read tha replies....ask Kerry....I was talkin to her on tha phone when Jen fell down splittin her sides...lol!
Jana........I have it on notice from Kerry we have tha second floor bedroom to ourselves and I can wear what I like....mind yah she didn't say I could DO what I like.....bummer!
Sue....yeah...brace yerself..."they're sending tha ozzies around!"
Howard......dya reckon a koala would be a better idea mate...gals just love "cuddly bears"...he!he!
Kerry, re; Sponger......as long as it was only tha testicles he ate....geeez...I just fell orf my chair...ha ha...lol!
Kathi....how come you get to post 3 times...spose you expect me to answer 3 times...ain't happenin gal...lol!
Sponger......yu want I should answer all your responses...that ain't happenin either...I'm short of ink.....BUT.....thanks for the incredibly inspiring information mate. ERRRR....Sponger "Bob", y'all tellin me that I should,
Only drink Fosters,bribe tha constabulary, Go see tha Ponderosa, bring over me own kangaroo tail for the barby, shave me head and shake a tamborine, call Kerry...Kerry-lou, Kay...Kay-lou,...he!he!
And....I'm gunna call me mate Mel(mad max) 'cos he totes a bigger gun than Chucky.
Oh...can you send over a pair of "speedos" to Kerry's for me Sponger...you seem to have a variety...lol!
Lastly Bob....I cleaned up the spare room for yah...clean sheets on tha bed mate!
Rodney......roos here are too common and the ladies rackon they are toooo big. I think I better go with tha koala mate....get more huggies bein a little bear(Jen always brings out tha bear in me....lol!)

ps........think yu got Sponger all messed up Rodney!
Sponger...send me the clean "unsoiled" pair of speedos mate....plllleeeaase!

Btrcup's picture
Posts: 287
Joined: Jun 2004

Hey Rodney, my birthday suit comes with its own pouch. It's called having 2 kids!!! I can't wait til Austin. Ross, you wear what's comfortable for you. I know lots of people here in the states that sleep "al naturale".


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